In which I get sucked into Hugopocalypse

[cahn]

So, I started reading the Hugo nominee "All the Beasts and Birds," and got halfway through, and the next day I signed up for a Worldcon membership just so I could vote against it. (And, presumably, the other Puppy works, although this is the only one I have read so far.)

I mean, I liked it! If I had read it on AO3 as New Testament fanfic, I would have kudosed it. And it is not its fault that I read it right after being in beta-mode for a couple of different things -- but -- well, that's the thing. It's decent enough when considered as unbetaed fanfic, but as a candidate for best speculative-fiction professional short story of the year? Really?

This story fails on a fundamental craft level. It starts out decently enough:

The animals gathered, one by one, outside the final city of Man, furtive, curious, and afraid.

All was dark. In the west was a blood-red sunset, and in the east a blood-red moonrise of a waning moon. No lamps shined in the towers and minarets, and all the windows of the palaces, mansions, and fanes were empty as the eyes of skulls. All about the walls of the city were the fields and houses that were empty and still, and all the gates and doors lay open.

I mean, if you're going to be picky, it's maybe a little… trying too hard… and there's that extra "the" in the last sentence that I don't get… but I'm not that picky a reader. I'm game for the old-fashioned Tanith-Lee-esque gothic parable-tale! (And hyphens, apparently. But never mind that.)(ETA: luzula pointed out that this fails on a basic astronomy level! Sigh.)

And there were pleasure houses where harlots plied their trade, and houses of healing where physicians explained which venereal diseases had no cures and arranged for painless suicides, and houses of morticians where disease-raddled bodies were burnt in private, without any ceremony that might attract attention and be bad for business.

what. I mean, there's this undercurrent of misogyny that is a little disturbing (although there aren't really any women in this story, thank God), but "might be bad for business"? Really? Stylistically it just… clunks, it's banal and completely at odds with what he's trying to do with the beginning of the sentence.

There are several places like this; I just picked the first one I found. The thing is, when you're doing a parable-like tale, style is paramount, and you cannot let it go for one second because you will just throw your reader out of the story. Tolkien could switch between earthy hobbit style and high epic style, because he was master of voicing, and because he had three books to work in. But you, sir, are no Jack Tolkien.

And then there are lines like this:

Now came a great black Lion, walking with regal, lazy steps, into the clearing, and lesser creatures, rabbits and stoats and alarmed larks, leaped and flew and scampered from his path. He shook his mane, and it was far more alarming that the gesture of Horse, and when he yawned, all saw his white fangs were as long as daggers made by Tubalcain, as sharp as the sword that hewed off the head of Goliath.

And, I mean, a black Lion? Do they even exist? (According to Snopes, they don't.) Why black, anyway? Also, his fangs are so sharp they can be compared to a sword cutting through someone's neck? This seems… like you're comparing a sharp point to a long blade, which is not really a good comparison… This is not the kind of thing you want me to be thinking about while I'm reading your story! (Also, the beta-reader in me wants to point out the extra comma after "steps," but I'm willing to let that go as a typo.)

There are a number of sentences that I had to read twice because I couldn't parse them the first time, and I know I'm operating on, like, half the amount of sleep I usually get, but still:

So it is fitting that the last to depart from the garden Man dared not enter be the first to enter the city we dare not.

He gets points for the subjunctive! I do love a good subjunctive. And I see what he's trying to do with setting up the parallelism. But man that is such incoherent prose. My beta would never have let that stand.

I had more, but you're probably bored by now. Anyway! The central conceit of the story — spoilers! — the animals take the place of Man — is more-or-less reasonable as fanficcy sort of theology, as long as you don't expect anything particularly deep. Except that I didn't actually care about it because I didn't care about any of the characters. If they weren't animals I wouldn't have been able to tell them apart, except for Fox, who is actually kind of great and the only character I had any interest in.

THIS NEEDED A BETA. Oh, wait, it had an editor, didn't it? Was Vox Day the editor? ...well then.

It's a joke that the next nominated thing by Wright is "The Mechanics of Fiction," right? I... am not going to read that one. I feel that this story alone is a reason to vote it off the ballot.

So... I guess I'm going to have to read some other Hugo nominees now so I can cast an informed vote (although quite possibly not any more Wright, I feel this is all I can handle). Watch this space for, at the least, Three-Body Problem.

Comments

[ase]

It's decent enough when considered as unbetaed fanfic, but as a candidate for best speculative-fiction professional short story of the year?

After reading "All the Birds and Beasts", my first question was, "am I thrown for a loop that Bible fanfic is on my Hugo ballot?" but I am willing to be argued around that I put too much emphasis on the 'Bible' thing and not enough on the 'fanfic' part.

This is a really weak year for the Hugos. That's the nicest thing I can say.

It's a joke that the next nominated thing by Wright is "The Mechanics of Fiction," right?

I totally missed that! Now I feel I must at least try to read "The Mechanics of Fiction" to parse Wright's intentions!

There are better pieces on writing on my bookcase and in my bookmarks to cleanse my palate, if - when - it becomes necessary.

[cahn]

Hmm. The Bible part doesn't really bother me -- I mean, you could argue that about C.S. Lewis' Space Trilogy, which has other issues, of course, but definitely fits the speculative criteria for me.

Yes. A really weak year.

I shall be very interested to see what you think of "Mechanics" -- D pointed out that it is much easier to write about writing than to actually write well, so I should possibly not dismiss it out of hand. But still.

[ase]

We'll see if I make it through "Mechanics". After slogging the technical weaknesses in "All the Beasts and Birds", I haven't been able to make myself crack Wright's nominated novellas. Let's see if I can muster more grit when tackling a nonfiction piece.

[cahn]

Yeah, I think I might... skip Wright's novellas. There is something in me that kind of hates not even trying, but on the other hand... I did get through "Beasts," and life's too short. :)

[ase]

Reporting back from an attempt on "The Plural of Helen of Troy" and the nonfiction: save yourself! Don't read the novellas!

[cahn]

And you only are escaped to tell me! Well, thanks for throwing yourself on that grenade :)

(Snark from K)

[(Anonymous)]

Kai Meyer has an excellent black lion (um, with wings and made of living obsidian). But, without having read Wright, I'm guessing that Meyer isn't his favorite author.

Re: (Snark from K)

[cahn]

Huh, I don't know anything about Kai Meyer! Should I read him?

See, wings and made of living obsidian, that would be awesome. This was... supposed to be more-or-less representative of a normal lion, I think.

[luzula]

The first thing that struck me in the first bit you quoted was the astronomy fail. If the moon is rising when the sun is setting, then the moon is full, not waning. (This is because when the moon and sun are 180 degrees apart in the sky, then the earth is between the sun and the moon, and we will see all of the sunlit face of the moon.)

[cahn]

...Man, I should have caught that; that's scientist fail by me :)

But yeah. The whole thing is just sloppy and fail.

[seekingferret]

I am sorry that you got sucked into Hugopocalypse.

Though I am kind of glad that it led you to buy a Worldcon membership. Worldcon is a thing that means a lot to me, and I hope that despite all the nonsense, you find that membership means something to you, too.

[cahn]

The thing that's been kind of surprising to me is how much the Hugos actually mean to me! Not in terms of the politicking -- I was annoyed by the nominations being coopted, and thought about getting a membership then, but inertia happened to be stronger.

But I do feel pretty strongly about the Hugos actually meaning something in a literary sense, as it turns out -- I guess I've been reading Hugo winners since I got old enough to check out books at the library by myself. So yeah, the good thing is that it's made me realize it is important to me. And as a result I might keep doing it, we'll see.

[seekingferret]

HT: No matter what other masochism Hugopocalypse leads you to inflict on yourself, avoid Wisdom From My Internet. It is a disaster. It is not science fiction. It is literally 90 pages of those internet forwards my father sends me and I don't read. And I'm a Republican.

[cahn]

...wow. Okay. Thanks for the heads up :)

[snickfic]

Heh, I too have a membership this year for the first time ever, although that's also because it's local enough to me that I'm actually going! W00t! But even if I weren't, I would have to vote, because dude.

I look forward to reading your thoughts on The Three-Body Problem!

[seekingferret]

Hi, I don't know you, but we have two things in common: 1)We're both commenting on this post and therefore know cahn and 2)We're both attending members of Sasquan. Would you like to try to meet at the con?

[cahn]

A third thing in common: you both like Cordwainer Smith! :)

[cahn]

Oh, that's so cool! I'd love to go sometime, but realistically that would not happen unless it were local to me.

I'm interested to read Three-Body Problem too!

[philomytha]

All the Hugo stuff has made me realise that I value the awards too - though I haven't as yet bought a supporting membership to vote - and I expect them to be a moderately-reliable guide to what novels are worth picking up. And I did pick up The Goblin Emperor on the strength of the nomination, and it was an enjoyable read. I'm not sure I'd say it was a Hugo-winner calibre book exactly, but it did deserve the nomination.

And agh, yes, I can see what those quotes are trying to do, but the author just can't quite sustain it. The register-shift is great if you're aiming for comedy a la Pratchett (who I've been rereading lately, for sanity's sake) but this is more like the soloist going flat on all the high notes.

[cahn]

Right, you can see what he's trying to do, but he's just not good enough to do it! (Your writing is orders of magnitude better than his.)

I agree with you about Goblin Emperor -- I liked it a lot, but I'm not sure about it as a Hugo winner. (I think this about Ancillary Sword as well, so I'm... not sure exactly what I'm going to vote for.)