Yes this is much better! And ahahahaha I love the Pamela/Candide line :D
What about "Another Russian palace coup"?
(I am visiting family right now and don't have the stuff I need to experiment with the music, so no progress right now from my end. Going home soon though!)
Not only does it fit the meter better, but I'm pleased I managed to work in some catchier lines like:
Rousseau, Diderot, Casanova, Crusoe
I'd rather have "Defoe" than "Crusoe", but "Crusoe" near-rhymes with "Rousseau" (or at least they can be rhymed better when singing than speaking) and alliterates with "Casanova", so "Crusoe" it is!
What about "Another Russian palace coup"?
I had tried it, but it didn't fit "Seven papal regicides," having an extra syllable. You see, my whole MO was, "I have no idea how to create an earworm, but these people obviously do, so copy what they did as CLOSELY as possible!!"
That said, it works by itself, being iambic, and does rhyme better with "Montesquieu", so if you think it sounds better, go for it! (The singer gets a say in what sounds better. ;))
I am visiting family right now and don't have the stuff I need to experiment with the music, so no progress right now from my end.
This is good, because I'm still tweaking! (I wanted to tell you not to spend too much time practicing pronunciation on mine and to start with Selena's, because I had a feeling my second draft was going to be substantially different than my first, and it was!)
Reach out to me when you're ready to start practicing, and we can settle on a finalized version. This is going to be fun!
(Though I do sometimes feel like that Conan satire of GRRM doing being willing to do literally anything else besides finish the next book. Mildred: will do literally anything rather than finish writing about Peter Keith and Fredersdorf!)
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timeasmymeasure
Re: We didn't start the fire, 18th century version
Date: 2024-07-30 03:57 am (UTC)What about "Another Russian palace coup"?
(I am visiting family right now and don't have the stuff I need to experiment with the music, so no progress right now from my end. Going home soon though!)
Re: We didn't start the fire, 18th century version
Date: 2024-07-31 02:24 pm (UTC)Not only does it fit the meter better, but I'm pleased I managed to work in some catchier lines like:
Rousseau, Diderot,
Casanova, Crusoe
I'd rather have "Defoe" than "Crusoe", but "Crusoe" near-rhymes with "Rousseau" (or at least they can be rhymed better when singing than speaking) and alliterates with "Casanova", so "Crusoe" it is!
What about "Another Russian palace coup"?
I had tried it, but it didn't fit "Seven papal regicides," having an extra syllable. You see, my whole MO was, "I have no idea how to create an earworm, but these people obviously do, so copy what they did as CLOSELY as possible!!"
That said, it works by itself, being iambic, and does rhyme better with "Montesquieu", so if you think it sounds better, go for it! (The singer gets a say in what sounds better. ;))
I am visiting family right now and don't have the stuff I need to experiment with the music, so no progress right now from my end.
This is good, because I'm still tweaking! (I wanted to tell you not to spend too much time practicing pronunciation on mine and to start with Selena's, because I had a feeling my second draft was going to be substantially different than my first, and it was!)
Reach out to me when you're ready to start practicing, and we can settle on a finalized version. This is going to be fun!
(Though I do sometimes feel like that Conan satire of GRRM doing being willing to do literally anything else besides finish the next book. Mildred: will do literally anything rather than finish writing about Peter Keith and Fredersdorf!)