Hugo Short story nominees (/Jukebox recs)

I have now read the short story nominees for the 2015 Hugo ballot. Verdict: read Jukebox stories instead, it will be much more enjoyable. (And you have a soundtrack, too!) In all but one case, because I am super punchy tonight, I have found you a vaguely related Jukebox story that is better than the story in question. Ranked from worst to best (the nominees, that is, not the Jukebox stories):

( And here we go. )