So I reread the part where Fritz acts coldly to Wilhelmine when seeing her for the first time after his imprisonment, and it was more complicated than I remembered.
I returned to my brother, and tendered him a thousand endearments, using the most affectionate language ; but he remained cold as ice, and answered only by monosyllables. I introduced my husband to him ; but he did not utter a word. I was thunderstruck at his behavior; I, however, ascribed it to the presence of the king, who had his eye upon us, and intimidated my brother. His countenance even surprised me. He appeared proud, and looked at every one with contempt.
Pretty sure this is where Lavisse is getting the idea that Fritz was unhappy because Wilhelmine wasn't going to be a queen and that was the beginning of his lifelong coolness toward her.
Because Lavisse is so good at psychology.
But it gets worse:
On leaving the table, Grumkow told me that the prince royal would again spoil all." The cold reception he gave you," continued Grumkow, "displeased the king. He says that if it was owing to his presence, it must of course offend him, as it shows a distrust which does not augur well for the future ; and if his coolness, on the contrary, proceeded from indifference and ingratitude towards your royal highness, it betrays an evil disposition. But the king is highly satisfied with you, madam; you have acted with sincerity. Do so always; and for Heaven's sake, persuade your brother to behave with frankness and without guile!"
OMG, FW and Grumbkow, make up your mind! "Have boundaries!" "Not that many boundaries!"
Those poor kids. All they have is each other, and you guys won't even let them have that.
I went up to my brother, and told him what Grumkow had said; I even reproached him slightly respecting his change. He answered that he was still the same, and that he had his reasons for acting as he did.
Well, that's good. It's certainly consistent with their letters, where she's all, "You don't love me any more!" and he's like, "OMG, do you have no faith in me at all? Of course I do!"
But it continues:
My brother then related his misfortunes, such as I have stated them.
This part's interesting, because it does indicate he was one of her sources for the Küstrin episode, but he can't have been her only source.
I acquainted him with mine. He appeared much disconcerted at the end of my narrative; he thanked me for the service I had rendered him, and made me a few caresses, which, however, did not seem to proceed from the heart. He entered upon some indifferent subjects, in order to break off the conversation, and, under pretence of viewing my apartment, he passed into the adjoining room, where my husband was. He surveyed him for some time, and after having used a few cold expressions of common civility, he retired.
I was, I own, perplexed at his behavior. My governess shrugged her shoulders, and could not recover from her surprise. I no longer found in him that beloved brother who had cost me so many tears, and for whom I had sacrificed myself.
As we know, these memoirs were written with hindsight, during a period of estrangement. I haven't read far enough to see if she ever explains "his reasons for acting as he did" (ability to read sustained text being limited to short bursts), but I will report back if I find anything in the future.
Pretty sure this is where Lavisse is getting the idea that Fritz was unhappy because Wilhelmine wasn't going to be a queen and that was the beginning of his lifelong coolness toward her.
That, and there's actually an early letter in Volz (No.7, dated Küstrin 1731, no more definite than that) where Fritz writes to Wilhelmine: As you want to hear my opinion about your marriage, I have to tell you: It pains me deeply that your beautiful qualities shan't be able to sparkle in front of Europe, for only in England you can be who you were meant to be. HOWEVER, the letter then continues: But if the Heriditary Prince is good looking, as you write, you may be able to live more peaceful there than elsewhere, and I can see you whenever I want, without having to ask for the agreement of an haughty and proud parliament.
(Mantteufel reports later that Fritz has a higher opinion of his Braunschweig brother-in-law (the one married to Charlotte, not EC's other brothers) than of his Bayreuth one, but that's in 1737, years after having gotten to know both. (Though a Braunschweig Duke certainly outranks a Bayreuth Margrave by far.) Anyway, aside of everything else, it would be surprising if Fritz had escaped the constant SD doctrine as given to both her oldest children, that only the Hannover cousins and the British throne are worthy, and a minor German noble is really below par. (Btw, completley wrong, this is not, from a contemporary pov - both Wilhelmine and sisters Sophie & Friedrike Louise, all of whom ended up with Margraves, were married off below rank and cheaply, even taking into account the Hohenzollern were upstarts as royalty.)
OMG, FW and Grumbkow, make up your mind! "Have boundaries!" "Not that many boundaries!"
Oh, I think their minds are completely made up. To "separate those two by any means, ensure they both look to the King, not each other, for validation", so Fritz gets told the King will be displeased if he doesn't keep a distance to Wilhelmine, and Wilhelmine gets told it's all due to Fritz and the King is really rooting for her.
Which also fits with FW writing in the autumn of 1730 already that Fritz is to be told no one in Berlin asks about him or cares what happens to him, including his mother, and that Wihelmine is locked in her rooms and won't be let go (apparantly at this point "Wilhelmine doesn't ask, either" is not yet deemed credible), and in their big reunion scene with Fritz completley submitting in the August of 1731 says himself (according to Grumbkow's protocol of the event as written for Seckendorff) "no one in Berlin asked for you or cares whether you live or die". It's a very deliberate policy to isolate those two, who have been each other's closest person, emotionally, especially from each other and make them question each other, at least till Wilhelmine is away in Bayreuth, at which point Grumbkow and FW probably figure that marriage and motherhood will do the rest.
In terms of contemporary documents: this is also where the letter from Fritz which I quoted in the last post from December 1731 comes in, where he says he noticed she's doubting him but swears he loves her and the Queen alone.
Even within the memoirs, written at a point where Wilhelmine is constructing for herself a narrative of post-Küstrin progressive enstrangement, do contain the description of their reunion the following year, though (during her disastrous visit home post birth of child), in which Fritz gets described as a loving brother again, and their letters from the mid 30s certainly sound like they're back to complete frankness (they include Fritz' only criticial references to SD ever), and to joking with each other. (One big difference between memoir writer Wilhelmine and letter writer Wilhelmine is that the letters showcase her sense of humor far more, which is due to the nature of the genre, I suppose.)
So: I think the best one can say is that Grumbkow & FW temporarily succeeded in that they did introduce some emotional enstrangement, but they never managed complete separation, and eventually the two found each other again.
Oh, I'm sure Fritz was unhappy about her not being a queen and thought she married beneath her. I'm just not on board with the idea that he stopped caring about her because she wasn't going to be a queen, and he was only interested in queens.
Fritz gets told the King will be displeased if he doesn't keep a distance to Wilhelmine, and Wilhelmine gets told it's all due to Fritz and the King is really rooting for her.
Agreed, but then Fritz gets told not to be so cold toward her, by the same person (indirectly) who told him to set up boundaries. So if this account is correct, he's definitely getting mixed messages from above. I agree it's deliberate, my "make up your mind" was from Fritz's POV.
Because there's obviously been a lifelong policy of separating them, even predating Küstrin, and yes, that letter where he's to be told no one in Berlin cares just makes me so angry. As does Lavisse's, "The problem isn't FW, the problem is that Fritz doesn't actually care about anything except his future greatness! Which I, as a post-Franco-Prussian War Frenchman, have some Opinions about."
So: I think the best one can say is that Grumbkow & FW temporarily succeeded in that they did introduce some emotional enstrangement, but they never managed complete separation, and eventually the two found each other again.
Agreed. Those poor kids. :(
And then Fritz has to go and isolate his nephew in turn. Which I don't think is roleplaying à la forcing Heinrich to get married, but just straightforward control issues that happen to display a complete lack of empathy for someone being put through something that he should remember caused him pain.
Anna Amalia, Mom of the Year despite not having had one, you are kind of amazing.
Oh, I think their minds are completely made up. To "separate those two by any means, ensure they both look to the King, not each other, for validation", so Fritz gets told the King will be displeased if he doesn't keep a distance to Wilhelmine, and Wilhelmine gets told it's all due to Fritz and the King is really rooting for her.
:(((((((( To this part, but really the whole comment. Poor Wilhelmine and Fritz :( And at least they found each other again <3
(One big difference between memoir writer Wilhelmine and letter writer Wilhelmine is that the letters showcase her sense of humor far more, which is due to the nature of the genre, I suppose.)
It's what I love about the bits you've transcribed for me <3 I really need to get to Wilhelmine's letters, at least the few that are in Trier that mildred could translate. After Blanning, maybe :)
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timeasmymeasure
Fritz and Wilhelmine
Date: 2020-03-08 09:36 pm (UTC)I returned to my brother, and tendered him a thousand endearments, using the most affectionate language ; but he remained cold as ice, and answered only by monosyllables. I introduced my husband to him ; but he did not utter a word. I was thunderstruck at his behavior; I, however, ascribed it to the presence of the king, who had his eye upon us, and intimidated my brother. His countenance even surprised me. He appeared proud, and looked at every one with contempt.
Pretty sure this is where Lavisse is getting the idea that Fritz was unhappy because Wilhelmine wasn't going to be a queen and that was the beginning of his lifelong coolness toward her.
Because Lavisse is so good at psychology.
But it gets worse:
On leaving the table, Grumkow told me that the prince royal would again spoil all." The cold reception he gave you," continued Grumkow, "displeased the king. He says that if it was owing to his presence, it must of course offend him, as it shows a distrust which does not augur well for the future ; and if his coolness, on the contrary, proceeded from indifference and ingratitude towards your royal highness, it betrays an evil disposition. But the king is highly satisfied with you, madam; you have acted with sincerity. Do so always; and for Heaven's sake, persuade your brother to behave with frankness and without guile!"
OMG, FW and Grumbkow, make up your mind! "Have boundaries!" "Not that many boundaries!"
Those poor kids. All they have is each other, and you guys won't even let them have that.
I went up to my brother, and told him what Grumkow had said; I even reproached him slightly respecting his change. He answered that he was still the same, and that he had his reasons for acting as he did.
Well, that's good. It's certainly consistent with their letters, where she's all, "You don't love me any more!" and he's like, "OMG, do you have no faith in me at all? Of course I do!"
But it continues:
My brother then related his misfortunes, such as I have stated them.
This part's interesting, because it does indicate he was one of her sources for the Küstrin episode, but he can't have been her only source.
I acquainted him with mine. He appeared much disconcerted at the end of my narrative; he thanked me for the service I had rendered him, and made me a few caresses, which, however, did not seem to proceed from the heart. He entered upon some indifferent subjects, in order to break off the conversation, and, under pretence of viewing my apartment, he passed into the adjoining room, where my husband was. He surveyed him for some time, and after having used a few cold expressions of common civility, he retired.
I was, I own, perplexed at his behavior. My governess shrugged her shoulders, and could not recover from her surprise. I no longer found in him that beloved brother who had cost me so many tears, and for whom I had sacrificed myself.
As we know, these memoirs were written with hindsight, during a period of estrangement. I haven't read far enough to see if she ever explains "his reasons for acting as he did" (ability to read sustained text being limited to short bursts), but I will report back if I find anything in the future.
It's just really, really sad.
Re: Fritz and Wilhelmine
Date: 2020-03-09 05:16 am (UTC)That, and there's actually an early letter in Volz (No.7, dated Küstrin 1731, no more definite than that) where Fritz writes to Wilhelmine: As you want to hear my opinion about your marriage, I have to tell you: It pains me deeply that your beautiful qualities shan't be able to sparkle in front of Europe, for only in England you can be who you were meant to be. HOWEVER, the letter then continues: But if the Heriditary Prince is good looking, as you write, you may be able to live more peaceful there than elsewhere, and I can see you whenever I want, without having to ask for the agreement of an haughty and proud parliament.
(Mantteufel reports later that Fritz has a higher opinion of his Braunschweig brother-in-law (the one married to Charlotte, not EC's other brothers) than of his Bayreuth one, but that's in 1737, years after having gotten to know both. (Though a Braunschweig Duke certainly outranks a Bayreuth Margrave by far.) Anyway, aside of everything else, it would be surprising if Fritz had escaped the constant SD doctrine as given to both her oldest children, that only the Hannover cousins and the British throne are worthy, and a minor German noble is really below par. (Btw, completley wrong, this is not, from a contemporary pov - both Wilhelmine and sisters Sophie & Friedrike Louise, all of whom ended up with Margraves, were married off below rank and cheaply, even taking into account the Hohenzollern were upstarts as royalty.)
OMG, FW and Grumbkow, make up your mind! "Have boundaries!" "Not that many boundaries!"
Oh, I think their minds are completely made up. To "separate those two by any means, ensure they both look to the King, not each other, for validation", so Fritz gets told the King will be displeased if he doesn't keep a distance to Wilhelmine, and Wilhelmine gets told it's all due to Fritz and the King is really rooting for her.
Which also fits with FW writing in the autumn of 1730 already that Fritz is to be told no one in Berlin asks about him or cares what happens to him, including his mother, and that Wihelmine is locked in her rooms and won't be let go (apparantly at this point "Wilhelmine doesn't ask, either" is not yet deemed credible), and in their big reunion scene with Fritz completley submitting in the August of 1731 says himself (according to Grumbkow's protocol of the event as written for Seckendorff) "no one in Berlin asked for you or cares whether you live or die". It's a very deliberate policy to isolate those two, who have been each other's closest person, emotionally, especially from each other and make them question each other, at least till Wilhelmine is away in Bayreuth, at which point Grumbkow and FW probably figure that marriage and motherhood will do the rest.
In terms of contemporary documents: this is also where the letter from Fritz which I quoted in the last post from December 1731 comes in, where he says he noticed she's doubting him but swears he loves her and the Queen alone.
Even within the memoirs, written at a point where Wilhelmine is constructing for herself a narrative of post-Küstrin progressive enstrangement, do contain the description of their reunion the following year, though (during her disastrous visit home post birth of child), in which Fritz gets described as a loving brother again, and their letters from the mid 30s certainly sound like they're back to complete frankness (they include Fritz' only criticial references to SD ever), and to joking with each other. (One big difference between memoir writer Wilhelmine and letter writer Wilhelmine is that the letters showcase her sense of humor far more, which is due to the nature of the genre, I suppose.)
So: I think the best one can say is that Grumbkow & FW temporarily succeeded in that they did introduce some emotional enstrangement, but they never managed complete separation, and eventually the two found each other again.
Re: Fritz and Wilhelmine
Date: 2020-03-09 03:20 pm (UTC)Fritz gets told the King will be displeased if he doesn't keep a distance to Wilhelmine, and Wilhelmine gets told it's all due to Fritz and the King is really rooting for her.
Agreed, but then Fritz gets told not to be so cold toward her, by the same person (indirectly) who told him to set up boundaries. So if this account is correct, he's definitely getting mixed messages from above. I agree it's deliberate, my "make up your mind" was from Fritz's POV.
Because there's obviously been a lifelong policy of separating them, even predating Küstrin, and yes, that letter where he's to be told no one in Berlin cares just makes me so angry. As does Lavisse's, "The problem isn't FW, the problem is that Fritz doesn't actually care about anything except his future greatness! Which I, as a post-Franco-Prussian War Frenchman, have some Opinions about."
So: I think the best one can say is that Grumbkow & FW temporarily succeeded in that they did introduce some emotional enstrangement, but they never managed complete separation, and eventually the two found each other again.
Agreed. Those poor kids. :(
And then Fritz has to go and isolate his nephew in turn. Which I don't think is roleplaying à la forcing Heinrich to get married, but just straightforward control issues that happen to display a complete lack of empathy for someone being put through something that he should remember caused him pain.
Anna Amalia, Mom of the Year despite not having had one, you are kind of amazing.
Re: Fritz and Wilhelmine
Date: 2020-03-09 09:09 pm (UTC):(((((((( To this part, but really the whole comment. Poor Wilhelmine and Fritz :( And at least they found each other again <3
(One big difference between memoir writer Wilhelmine and letter writer Wilhelmine is that the letters showcase her sense of humor far more, which is due to the nature of the genre, I suppose.)
It's what I love about the bits you've transcribed for me <3 I really need to get to Wilhelmine's letters, at least the few that are in Trier that mildred could translate. After Blanning, maybe :)