(no subject)

[cahn]

Please rec me books with dads who are major characters (important secondary character is fine) and for whom parenting is an important component of their character, with kids who are older at the time of canon (teenager or above). They don't need to be good parents, necessarily, and they can make horrible mistakes, but they should be (relatively?) non-abusive and clearly love their kid(s).

So far I've got

-Aral Vorkosigan (...I guess he's not super a main character any more, but he casts a pretty long shadow)
-Atticus Finch
-Andrew Wiggin
-Jean Valjean
-Reb Saunders and David Malter
-Van Hohenheim (taking the prize for not being a good parent and making horrible mistakes...)

...this is a much lower percentage of the books we own than I had thought it would be!

Comments

[cahn]

I have not read a bunch of these, these all sound brilliant and I'm putting them all on my list to read (including the ones I've read before -- this is also a reread list :) )

I have read Witch of Blackbird Pond -- how could I forget Matthew!! Such a great character. Also Roger from Beggars in Spain -- such a combination of fiercely loving his kid and making all kinds of fraught (and sometimes plain wrong) decisions. LOVE THESE. I honestly don't remember either the father or much of the plot (beyond the most most basic) of Jackaroo -- clearly time for another read.

Antagonists are definitely OK!

[mildred_of_midgard]

Nice! Matthew's great, isn't he? Not great as in "let's all take him as our role model," but great as in very well written.

Gwyn's father in Jackaroo isn't perhaps the most striking character in literature, but what I remembered is how much Voigt made me empathize with him. Rather like Maybeth--different personality, but somewhat sidelined character who's nonetheless very well (imo) depicted. Jackaroo is Voigt's only non-Tillerman book that I wholeheartedly love.

Caveats and trigger warnings for the ones you didn't mention having read:

Clan of the Cave Bear has graphic child rape. It also has long boring stretches. I like it mostly because it contains a few memorable scenes that have always stuck with me, mostly between Creb and his adoptive daughter Ayla. It's not one of my all-time favorites.

The Godfather and The Temple Dogs are full of violence: murder, domestic abuse, you name it. Also drug use. No graphic depictions of rape coming to mind (I reserve the right to think of some later), but definitely references to it, and prostitution. The bigger sticking point for some readers might be the The Temple Dogs' cookie cutter white savior narrative.

Speaking of white, Gone With the Wind is notoriously full of slavery and KKK justification. I have a whole unwritten post in my head as to why the book doesn't bother me despite that. It largely comes down to: the characters are racist, but the book itself is complex and three-dimensional enough that if you already know the reasons slavery/racism/etc. is bad, you can find them there--it's just that the author's not going to point them out for you. It is at least made super clear that these characters are not your role models. But given how the author beats you over the head with white people's justifications of slavery and makes you read between the lines for why they're wrong, I can toootally understand anyone not wanting to read a book that's set firmly in the POVs of slaveowners and that glamorizes the antebellum South. If I didn't already know about things like Stockholm Syndrome, I sure wouldn't get it out of this book.

Re fathers, I was thinking of Gerald (Scarlett's father) when I mentioned Gone with the Wind, especially in the beginning of the book, but it occurs to me that the focus of the last 20% or so is Rhett as a father, and how his overindulgent parenting techniques go horribly wrong.

Season of the Two Heart is another potentially problematic one: I am not an expert on 1960s Pueblo culture and cannot say whether the book depicts it fairly or not. I will say that the author goes out of her way to show a nuanced, complex picture of both Pueblo and white culture, and how the Pueblo culture (as depicted in the book) succeeds where the counterpoint white culture fails. I will also say that there have been plenty of cultures (and individuals) throughout history that have done the things the author is finding fault with when she depicts the Pueblo doing them, and that I largely agree with her that when people do such things, they are wrong. It made me wish Lois Duncan had written more books like this and less of her largely forgettable (IMO) paranormal thrillers.

Anansi Boys is just plain great, read it. :P If you like Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book has a good adoptive/in loco parentis father.

[cahn]

Not great as in "let's all take him as our role model," but great as in very well written.

Yes! You get where he's coming from, by the end, and why he does what he does, and he gets some great moments in there too. <3

I've seen Godfather (and loved the movie), so I get the warnings for that :) I know enough about Gone with the Wind that I am not surprised by any of that -- but now I'm surprised I never actually did read it, it sounds like the natural sort of thing I would have inhaled as a kid. (ETA: not because of the slavery/KKK, of course, but because of the antebellum South historical-ish etc.)

[mildred_of_midgard]

More recs and notes.

I reread When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit tonight and can now say that the father gets as much page time as Charles Ingalls, and in fact the story is about as similar as it gets, given the different setting (1930s Europe): fictionalized memoir depicting the author as a young girl and her close-knit family moving around, adapting to new places, and trying to make money stretch. (No food porn, alas.)

As you can tell by the fact that I read it in one go, it's a short, easy read. The protagonist is 9-11 eleven years old in the book, and her brother about 2 years older, so I think that meets your criteria. The book is aimed at children of about that age, 9-11, and stylistically probably most similar to The Banks of Plum Creek. It's probably the only book aimed at that age range that I constantly reread.

There are sequels, but I didn't really enjoy them. You might, though! Ditto The Giver.

Re Gone With the Wind: Scarlett's a teenager at the beginning when she's interacting with her father, but I remembered that Rhett's child is about 3-5, so she might fall outside the age range you're looking for. If you're into antebellum historical fiction, though, I can't recommend the book enough on its own merits.