two weeks, more or less, and counting

[cahn]

About two weeks to my due date, more or less. This has so far been about the easiest third trimester imaginable -- I was feeling great, and hardly like I was pregnant even, until about a week ago, when my body suddenly realized it was having a baby soon and maybe it should, like, be doing things to accommodate that. So now suddenly everything is stretching in weird ways and I can't run after E and I'm developing that attractive waddle where people in the hallways at work look at me in a concerned way because they're worried they'll have to take me to the hospital or something.

(Totally random story: Yesterday at group meeting -- this is a meeting of about 15 people -- group leader said to me, "We've never had two pregnant women at a group meeting before!" ...The other woman in our group just declared her pregnancy. The funny thing is that two women is just about the maximum we ever have at group meeting, so having two pregnant women is, yeah, kind of rare.)

Today is my last official day at work, although I have to go in next week if I'm still around and update my boss, who has been sick this entire week, poor guy. (I worry I've been getting him sick this winter, what with spreading my kiddo's germs around, but this last one was Provably Not My Fault because he'd been out of town previously.)

Other things:

-Tutoring is OVER as of late January, when C. had her exam and the semester ended. We were all hugely relieved, except for E., who loved it when C. came over and misses her. (C. has been back to babysit a couple of times, which E. really enjoys.) She got a B in the class, which... I have really mixed feelings about, because honestly she didn't deserve a B in this class and really if it hadn't been for her mom constantly worrying at the teacher she wouldn't have gotten that, but on the other hand if she'd been taking a conceptual physics class like she ought to have, she would have easily made a B. So whatever. The other interesting thing is that I've been (slowly) reading a book on developmental issues, and the ADHD chapter -- did I mention that C. has been diagnosed with ADHD? -- exactly describes C., and makes sense of things that I didn't quite understand while tutoring her. I wish I'd read it when I'd started instead of afterwards.

-I'm giving up Catholic choir when the baby comes, whee! (It has been getting more and more dire, and this is a bit of an excuse to give it up.) This Sunday is supposed to be my last one. Choir director is trying to get me to come the Sunday after. I am skeptical, but I guess if I feel okay I'll try to go.

-E. is excited about the baby, and I'm worried that the reality might not be anything like she expects... we've talked about how the baby will cry a lot, etc., but...

-I don't have nerves exactly, because pregnancy for me seems to release a lot of calming hormones, but I've been remembering those first harrowing eighteen months or so after having a baby (I told my sister that the first month after having E was the hardest month of my life, which I wish someone had said to me; but apparently I neglected to mention how the second month after having her was the second-hardest month, which I should have done), and thinking about that bit in Winterfair Gifts a lot, you know, the bit where Miles and Taura are talking:

"You know how the recruits got pre-combat nerves, before they went out on a mission the first time?"

"Oh, yes."

"Now. Do you remember how they got pre-combat nerves before they had to go out on a big drop for the second time?"

Comments

[philomytha]

Oh yes yes, I thought about that passage a lot when I was pregnant with Cub. For me, it was much easier than I'd feared - at least, I don't *think* that's just the rosy hindsight talking - because it turned out that he was a vastly more placid and easygoing baby and also I could do a lot of the tasks like breastfeeding and changing nappies on autopilot instead of having to think my way through them each time. That does help. I hope you find it works out well for you - I'll be thinking of you!

[cahn]

Ahhhhh, that's good to know. E was actually a quite placid and easygoing baby herself, so I'm kind of bracing myself for being bound to have a harder time in that sense -- but it does make sense that a lot of the tasks that seemed totally daunting with a new newborn might be less so after going through it once. I'll hope, anyway! :)

(K)

[(Anonymous)]

You mean you haven't been thinking about uterine replicators for the past nine months? :)

Um, can you sit for the whole time at choir? If they want you to stand to sing for every piece... Well, I object.

Re: (K)

[cahn]

:) Oh yes. Particularly first trimester :)

Standing for short periods isn't so bad, and now that we're in the choir loft I can wear whatever shoes I want (wearing any sort of non-casual shoe and actually standing/walking in them has become pretty much impossible) -- but yeah, choir director would love to have me come and sit the whole time rather than not come at all.

[thistleingrey]

I hope that things (continue to) go smoothly, both in the very near future and after the baby's birth!

I think that second month of infant was probably my hardest as a parent because my mother had gone home and I was so tired. It wasn't the hardest of my life, however, which helped ever so slightly.

[cahn]

Thank you!

Yeah, I realize I've had a pretty good life full of not-very-hard things :) Although I also had a fairly hard birth (a lot of tearing) and a lot of trouble breastfeeding, both of which cleared up a lot by the second month, so even though I was more tired I was having fewer physical issues in general. (Plus which my mom, while the greatest person in the world to have around when one is needing help with the physical/chores aspect of things, can be somewhat wearying to have around after a while, so there was a bit of emotional relief after she left.)

[thistleingrey]

Ack--I wasn't trying to assert anything about comparative difficulties. However bad infant-caused sleep debt became, at least I could nap sometimes during my daughter's naps instead of grading papers and preparing to teach. And eat food (because of money, which grad school rather lacked sometimes).

*nods* Another friend had child #1 a few months ago (at nearly forty) and had really looked forward to spending time with her mother, who for various reasons hasn't been around much since the friend was twelve. It turned out to be rather wearying, too. I wish that rl had more of a middle space between the polarized sainted or awful (grand)mothers of fiction. (Like, this is not your newborn or your household! Please integrate yourself as helpful additional responsible adult instead of needing to be dealt with atop everything else; it's for only a short time. Or perhaps I feel extra protective of the friend, at least, because I would have liked to help her myself but she's far away, in another country.)

[cahn]

Well -- my grad school experience was actually pretty idyllic, so yeah, I got super lucky there :) And mostly I was thinking about why my first month was so much harder than my second even though I didn't have any help around.

Yeah -- I am trying to take notes here so that if/when I am a prospective grandmother, I can try not to fall into any of these traps! It seems rather common to do things that aren't necessarily super helpful, even with the best intentions.

[el_staplador]

*good wishes*

Two of my former colleagues are pregnant at the moment, and another is known to be trying to conceive. I suppose there are an awful lot of us around the age of thirty, and so it's only to be expected...

(I am thinking maybe next year. Maybe.)

[cahn]

Thank you! Yeah, with this second I'm bumping up against the high-30's ceiling (husband is 45, so really I don't want to push it any farther...)

(Best wishes for you as well, whatever/whenever you decide!)

[ase]

Glad to get the official work the pregnancy's been smooth so far. Fingers crossed that remains true through the birth and after.

[cahn]

:) Thanks!

[morbane]

makes sense of things that I didn't quite understand while tutoring her. I wish I'd read it when I'd started instead of afterwards. - What's that saying about how experience is the thing you get after you need it..? But it sounds as though this is one of the better possible results for C. Congrats on getting her through that.

I hope the last week-and-change of your pregnancy goes very smoothly! I look forward to hearing about your new baby. Seconding Ase above. :)

[metaphortunate]

ahahaha. Yes.

Good luck! The Junebug has been dealing with the newcomer way better than expected so far, fwiw. We did the thing where we got him a present (Elmo backpack; very exciting) which he got in the hospital when he came to visit me and the new baby, and said it was in honor of the new baby (some people say it's from the new baby, but we didn't think we could say that with straight faces.) Maybe it helped! Who knows.