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Unfortunately, there was then at Berlin a King who pursued one policy only, who deceived his enemies, but not his servants, and who lied without scruple, but never without necessity.

(from The King's Secret - by Duke de Broglie, grand-nephew of the subject of the book, Comte de Broglie, and grandfather of the physicist) )

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From:

selenak

In case you were wondering whatever became of the Third Earl of Essex. (Also the third Robert Devereux, yes, he has the same name as his father (Elizabeth's last favourite) and his grandfather (not famous for anything other than fucking up in Ireland, like the fave).)

To recapitulate: Dad overreaches himself and gets beheaded while Bob the future NOT IMPOTENT Earl is still a kid, after which the family temporarily loses the title for a few years. James when becoming King restores the title to the kid because he feels fond of the late Beheaded Favourite, who like Cecil was secretly corresponding with him behind Elizabeth's back. Bob the kid is even allowed to participate in the coronation ceremony and carry one of the royal insignia a head of James. Then he's made a companion of Crown Prince Henry. All looks great for young Bob! This is also why the Howard family has their eyes on him and marries him to their girl Frances when he's 13 and she's 14.

Young Bob is sent on several years of touring Europe, with the idea that when he comes back as an adult he and Frances can establish a common household and consumate their marriage. We already know how that turned out. However, what I did not mention is that even before publically humiliated by Frances claiming impotence, Bob manages to fuck up his relationship with Henry Prince of Wales by arguing with him to the point where Bob beats Henry over the head with a Tennis racket. This about sums up his future relationship with royalty, too.

After the whole NOT IMPOTENT EXCEPT WITH FRANCES annulment has gone through, Bob retires to his country seat, fuming, but then as you've heard his love rival Robert Carr loses James' favour and gets put on trial for poisoning Overbury together with Frances. Bob Essex is feeling extremely thrilled by this and ensures he becomes a member of the jury and votes for Frances and her husband to DIE DIE DIE. As James commutes their sentences, this does not work out, but at least Bob consoles himself with the fact now everyone knows the annulment of his marriage, which the King supported, was all the evil poisoning woman's fault and not due to IMPOTENCE.

Bob decides to go to the continent, soldiering on in the Netherlands and in Germany in the early years of the Thirty Years War. He's not particularly great nor bad at it, but it does make him one of the few high ranking Englishmen with actual military experience by the time James dies and Charles and Buckingham are ready to go to war with Spain FUCK YEAH! In fact, Bob is the vice admiral on the ill fated expedition to Cadiz, Cadiz, which his late father burned to the ground so gloriously in Elizabeth's time, and where the nation now gets humiliated. Bob thinks, along with the rest of the nation, that this is totally Buckingham's fault and is part of the IMPEACH BUCKINGHAM! BUCKINGHAM DIE DIE DIE! movement.

Also, he gets married again, to one Elizabeth Pawlett. Alas, marital harmony still does not happen. Elizabeth gets pregnant. Bob declares, in public, that if the kid is born before a certain date, he will accept his own fatherhood, but it the kid is born after a certain date, he will divorce her for adultery. All courtiers take bets, Elizabeth is feeling VERY FOND OF HER HUSBAND INDEED, and delivers the kid on the deadline. Bob of Essex accepts fatherhood, but the baby does not live long, and dies of the plague. Elizabeth understandably has had it with Bob and moves out. She will have other children with her next husband, and said children in their speeches upon her funeral will insist on her innocence, decades later.

Bob, being a military veteran, decides to give the House of Stuart one more chance to appreciate him, in the Bishop's War, but for some reason, maybe because Bob has consistently supported the anti Buckingham faction in Parliament, Charles doesn't promote him to head of the army but gives him a secondary position. Bob has head it with the Stuarts! As the Civil War starts in earnest, he becomes the first commander in chief of the Parliamentarian Army. The most famous battle he engages in is the one of Edgehill where he and Charles' nephew Prince Rupert of the Rhine (another bloody Stuart!), son of Elizabeth the Winter Queen, achieve an inconclusive stalemate. And then Bob dies and subsequently becomes completely overshadowed in fame by Oliver Cromwell and Thomas Fairfax as a commander of the New Model Army. He does get buried in Westminster Abbey by them and gets a statue errected. Once the Restoration happens, Charles II has the statue torn down, but he leaves Bob's body buried in Westminster Abbey where his bones are to this day, evidently not deeming him important enough to remove (unlike Oliver Cromwell). As Bob did not marry a third time and did not have an illegitimate offspring, the Devereux line dies out with him.

But he wants you to know he was never impotent! Except with Frances!

Edited Date: 2023-10-09 10:49 am (UTC)