cahn | Frederick the Great, Discussion Post 22 (or: Yuletide 2020 edition)

ETA: Whoops, I missed my cue -- this might as well be the next discussion post, I guess! :)

This is about the fic I didn't author (I have another reveals post for the fics I did author).

So my goal this Yuletide was NOT to write any historical fandom (because hard!) and just enjoy the excellent stuff that other people wrote. And... that sort of happened? I didn't end up authoring anything history-intensive? Buuuuut I ended up spending a lot more time than I did on any of my own fics working with

mildred_of_midgard on her fic, which she was worried about being able to pull off because she had had this completely insane idea to write a long casefic about Frederick the Great that every time I turned around had another twist put in :P :) She supplied me with what we called a "rough opal in matrix" bus pass casefic, and I cut away the matrix that remained and in some cases carved the opal -- that is to say, writing additional text for some of the scenes, what we liked to call "putting in feels," and in at least two cases entirely rewriting and/or restructuring the scene she'd written. She didn't always keep what I wrote (which we'd agreed upon in the beginning), but when she did (which was most of the time :) ) she then went in and rewrote/restructured what I put in to wordsmith (some of the words I gave her were really rough) and match her style, adding even more scenes -- that is, polishing it up and adding some gold and diamonds -- and voila, a beautiful pendant, I mean, story :)

I'm really proud of it and also it was really fun and also what I could handle this year, especially because mildred did all the parts I thought were hard and also wrote all the parts involving actual history or subtle AU before I was brought in so I didn't actually have to know historical stuff (though I guess I will never forget the battle of Leuthen now), and took full responsibility for how the whole thing turned out, so all I had to do was be like "Here, I'll write some rough feels for you for this scene!" The funny part was that I would often then write a paragraph justifying why I *had* to write the scene the way I did, and more likely than not mildred would be like, "yeah, I was sure you would do that, of course it should be written like that." (The most glaring example of this was where I inserted the Letter of Doom at the climax. I was worried there was some reason she didn't want it there, but she said, no, she just didn't have time to put it in herself and was just trusting me to do that :) ) She started jokingly calling me her "other self," to which I replied that it was with 1000% less angst and frustration -- as Frederick the Great's brother was his "other self" (which actually comes up in the fic) that he could trust to do all kinds of competent things, but they had a relationship that was, um, fraught? radioactive? Whereas this was just fun :)

Mildred did so much more than I did (we estimated a 90%/10% word ratio, not even counting the part where she wordsmithed a lot of my text) that I felt very uncomfortable being listed as a co-author, but hey, ~3000 words is a respectable Yuletide fic length :)

Yet They Grind Exceedingly Small (30384 words) by mildred_of_midgard
Chapters: 5/5
Fandom: 18th Century CE RPF, Historical RPF
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Relationships: Anna Amalie von Preußen & Wilhelmine von Preußen, Anna Amalie von Preußen & Friedrich Heinrich Ludwig von Preußen, Wilhelmine von Preußen & Elisabeth Friederike Sophie von Brandenburg-Bayreuth, Friedrich II von Preußen | Frederick the Great & Wilhelmine von Preußen | Wilhelmine of Prussia
Characters: Anna Amalie von Preußen (1723-1787), Wilhelmine von Preußen | Wilhelmine of Prussia (1709-1758), Friedrich Heinrich Ludwig von Preußen | Henry of Prussia (1726-1802), Elisabeth Friederike Sophie von Brandenburg-Bayreuth (1732-1780), Wilhelmine von Hesse-Kassel (1726-1808), August Wilhelm von Preußen | Augustus William of Prussia (1722-1758), Alcmene 1 | Frederick the Great's Italian Greyhound, Voltaire (Writer), Friedrich II von Preußen | Frederick the Great
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dysfunctional Family, Suicide, Alternate Universe - Dark, Siblings, Canon-Typical Violence, Mystery, Tide of History Challenge
Summary:

January 1758. Prince William is dead, some say of a broken heart. Frederick wants to absolve himself of blame for William's death. Henry schemes to end the Third Silesian War on his terms. Amalie and Wilhelmine team up to find out what really happened to their brother. Alcmene just wants to be told she's a good dog.

Page 2 of 13 << [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] >>

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

mildred_of_midgard

Fritz dies shortly after becoming king. Grief-stricken EC devotes her life to alchemy. Half mad alchemist EC travels back in time to save his life. He treats her like shit. She strangles him on the spot. Frames Georgii.

The time wars with Fredersdorf begin. :D

From:

mildred_of_midgard

Yeah, I bet Heinrich's batteries are dying a lot.

And not just his! I bet Fritz just thinks he's way better at battery life management than *anyone* else (naturally), because other people's are always dying. :P

Hahahahaha so that's what I was expecting when you said you were thinking about Heinrich/Kaphengst, and why I said I'd be OK for a treat but not for an assignment, and why I didn't realize it was you :P

I'm perfectly capable of adjusting my id when writing for other people! It's a compromise.

write a Voltaire/Heinrich showdown sequel to a certain other fic

Really???? I AM HERE FOR THIS.

Yes, I told Selena we should plot this out in salon and see what happens, but NOT NOW.

From:

mildred_of_midgard

I love this insight into your writing process! I would write more if I were not trying to limit my salon interactions, but know that I felt these were all excellent decisions that worked.

From:

selenak

Oh, I never doubted which option you’d want, and I would write such a story for someone else, but consider the delicious angst and sacrifice if time travelling Fritz does this knowing it’s the only way to ensure Katte will live!

(Lord Hervey, appalled: Wait a minute. If Katte gets that worst of traitors, Fritz of Wales, does this mean that instead of going home to England, I end up in Berlin?!? I hate German politics! And frankly, while FW and G2 are on the same level of appalling in my opinion, Queen Caroline is a vastly preferable patroness to SD. Not to mention: what about my friendship with Lady Mary? Our love triangle with Algarotti?

Self: You keep complaining that Fritz of Wales was a tool with terrible taste and no brains in your memoirs. Let me assure you, Fritz of Prussia is the opposite. And you can have your love triangle with Algarotti, don’t worry about it. Just without Lady Mary as the third party - sorry, but I won’t condemn her to life in FW’s Prussia.)

Incidentally, if it’s the same method of time travel, i.le. Fritz will forget all about the other time line once he’s accomplished the key change, he’ll make a flight attempt anyway, just not with Katte as support. Don’t worry, this isn’t an AU where Peter Keith dies instead, because Peter is still at Wesel and thus able to get away in time. But maybe Fritz will try to persuade Hervey to take him along as diplomatic luggage, thus creating international incident because Hervey is not FW’s subject so if they’re caught, that personal combat challenge between FW and G2 is back on!

ETA: about Heinrich - as wonderful as my present was, and it was very wonderful, I am inm general somewhat invested in keeping him and Fritz alive at the same time so they can have their fanatastically screwed up relationship. Though you know, my big suspension of disbelief in “Grind” wasn’t Heinrich going for the kill under these very specific circumstances and then covering it up the way he does, but earlier, Heinrich trying to convince Fritz to take AW back by pointing out Fritz’ own mistakes post AU Leuthen. I mean, I know why it’s dramatically necessary that he does! I agree with the necessity! But given how he behaved towards Fritz during the war in rl, I needed, as mentioned to suspend some disbelief.

Edited Date: 2021-01-02 08:40 pm (UTC)

From:

mildred_of_midgard

thus creating international incident because Hervey is not FW’s subject so if they’re caught, that personal combat challenge between FW and G2 is back on!

Lol! Lol to the whole thing, which I will definitely read and comment on.

I am inm general somewhat invested in keeping him and Fritz alive at the same time so they can have their fanatastically screwed up relationship.

Noted. Part of the challenge here was trying to come up with something that you hadn't already done better on the screwed up Fritz+Heinrich front.

But given how he behaved towards Fritz during the war in rl, I needed, as mentioned to suspend some disbelief.

Oh, I had to suspend some disbelief as well, believe me. (And

cahn called out this line as well.) For a while, this fic was tagged "Deliberately OOC for dark AU purposes" for precisely this reason: I needed Heinrich to not exactly be our Heinrich, whom I have difficulty imagining giving me this exact plot.

Will keep them alive in future gifts to you, though!

From:

mildred_of_midgard

I had a LOT of reasons for not thinking it was you, okay.

I meant to say, yes, yes, you had many valid reasons, I just think it will never not be funny, is all. :D :P

Fritz is like, you should get a new phone! No, you can't expense it.

Okay, Fritz refusing expense requests is totally going in. :P Salon is where all the best ideas come from. :)

From:

cahn

and I would write such a story for someone else

By which you mean me, right?? :D (Okay, there are other stories I want before this one, but as I said, I'd definitely be fascinated by this. As you know, I also like things being broken differently!)

Hee, Heinrich & Fritz is definitely the most fascinating of relationships, and like Voltaire says in "Grind," it's no fun when one can't actually fight with the other because he's dead :P (Though of course "Grind" turned out to be much less Heinrich than one might think from a synopsis of the plot -- hopefully you enjoyed all the Amalie & Wilhelmine :D But it is also really really good to know what you would like in the future and I highly approve of knowing things like this :) ) And yes, as mildred says, I flagged that bit as well as something where I had to suspend disbelief :)

From:

cahn

Fritz only gets two "on page" scenes but as he's very much in Catherine's and Heinrich's thoughts all the time, I thought he still qualifies as an important character.

I was rather impressed by how present he was in the fic even though he didn't get so many on page scenes!

Destroying your ex lover's life and world - not motivated by personal malice towards him at all - is a tragedy. It also works as a counterpoint for Catherine's relationship with Heinrich and for his decision not to stay in Russia at the end, and her realisation about why this is ultimately a good thing.

Yessss I really thought this worked very well.

So one question I had after reading the fic: what historically is known about why Catherine decided to promote Poniatowski to King of Poland? In the fic the reason given is personal, but I assume that's the personal tip of an iceberg of political machinations that of course you weren't going to show in an "only" 10k fic :)

I'm glad you put Orlov in! I know that he showed up in a couple of Lehndorff entries (because I was browsing through your writeups earlier :) ) All this fic is filling in gaps in my knowledge :D (But maybe Potemkin for another time! :D )

From:

selenak

So one question I had after reading the fic: what historically is known about why Catherine decided to promote Poniatowski to King of Poland? In the fic the reason given is personal, but I assume that's the personal tip of an iceberg of political machinations that of course you weren't going to show in an "only" 10k fic :)

In addition to the reasons given in the fic (he's from one of the leading Polish aristocratic families BUT he won't have foreign backup (other than hers) to fall back on, you have to consider that the last two Kings of Poland were Saxon Prince Electors who did their best to make the job inheritable (though they failed; Brühl had to spend a lot of money to get August III. elected as King of Poland after August II.'s death). (After August III. died, his son did make an attempt to be a candidate but knew it would probably fail because Saxony had been bled dry, literally, through the 7 Years War which was over only for a year. Poland governed by foreign Kings was the norm rather than the exception - the other Stanislas, Stanislav Lescynski, who ruled in between August(us) the Strong's two terms and was Louis XV's father-in-law, was such an exception, being an actual Pole, but even he was reliant on French backup (and when that wasn't delivered had to high tail it ouf of Poland, with Katte's Dad as his first host in exile at Königsberg; Lescynski eventually ended up getting FS's dukedom of Lorraine and playing host to Émilie, Voltaire and Saint-Lambert). And Poland was, in theory, a large and potentially rich country. On Russia's doorstep. Having it controlled by essentially another foreign power (no matter which one) is not in Russia's interest. Poniatowski, otoh, is someone whom Catherine knows to be strongly attached to her, who is smart in book and conversation ways but not a natural power grabber on his own account, and while his belonging to one of the biggest Polish families means he's just about acceptable as a candidate of royalty he was the youngest son who was never meant to rule, just to make himself useful as a diplomat, which means he didn't grow up considering himself entitled to greatness. He'll know he owes it all to her. Conclusion: from her pov, he's a good candidate.

...except for the part where all the other Polish aristocratic families now hate his guts in jealous indignation and where he actually takes that coronation oath seriously and tries his best for Poland. Which is not the best for Russia.

From:

selenak

I loved all the Amalie & Wilhelmine, which was one of the prompts/requests I had which was afraid would never be fulfilled!

Re: future fic -more seriously, I try not to repeat myself, so no time travel in my immediate writing future, though once I have some temporal (ha!) distance and can approach the subject from a new angle, who knows?

Something not completely unrelated to write as a crackfic treated seriously: Frederician Christmas Carol, starring Fritz as Scrooge, of course. He even comes with a wary nephew (future FW2), and you can make the case for either Katte or Wilhelmine as the ghost of Christmas Past. The dialogue with either would have to contain "if I could change the past, I would" ideas.

Ghost of Christmas Future: Napoleon, who in 1806 will defeat Prussia and thus end the Fritz started legend of Prussian invincibility and what's left of Frederician Prussia for good. (Of course Prussia gets back to European superpower status once Napoleon is defeated, but it's a changed Prussia with no more Frederician enlightenment ideas and lots of religious traditionality instead, but otoh a reformed army which has taken all the changes since Fritz' time into account instead of just relying on his reputation.) Victorious Napoleon visiting Fritz' tomb - the one Fritz didn't want to lie in, next to Dad in a church! - is a sight sure to shock Fritz the way his tomb shocked Scrooge!

I can't decide on the Ghost of Christmas Present and who gets to be Bob Cratchit, though. Lucchesini for the later? (Fredersdorf is dead and Catt is out of favor.) Heinrich is telling me "don't you dare!" at my tentatively eying him as Bob Cratchit, abused but loyal employe, while EC is eagerly saying she'd like to be Bob Cratchit, but I can't see that, either...

ETA: Marley, though? Is going to be MT. "Maria Theresia was dead, to begin with", and instead of a doorknob, that portrait of hers which Fritz kept in his study is going to talk to him.

Edited Date: 2021-01-03 08:58 am (UTC)

From:

selenak

re: Fredersdorf, zomg, you're right. Incidentally, I only have one more episode to go on a six part 1980s GDR miniseries which in its last two episodes actually features Fritz and Fredersdorf, and was shot on location so I'll try to do screencaps of them in Sanssouci. But! The actor playing Fredersdorf is smaller than the actor who plays Fritz, and that's just wrong! (Otoh, the dogs are actual Italian greyhounds the right size, not fearsome beasts of another race.)

From:

selenak

Ah yes, the first entry on her. He'll later change his mind on her extremely friendly nature, lol, but I think that entry conveys yet another way Amalie was similar to Fritz (aside from the sharp tongue, the musical talent, the size and the eyes) - when she tried, she could be very charming indeed and could make a great first impression. It's just that in later years, she tried less and less.

From:

selenak

In the 20th century, probably not, but then again, in the later 20th Century, Western World, you'd have to find a reason why Fritz would marry EC to begin with. The mobster AU author did it by making the Hohenzollern a mobster family, but if Fritz is simply the son of a rich workoholic CEO, his father doesn't have the same kind of life and death power over him, and he could just leave and start his own firm somewhere else once life with Dad became unbearable.

From:

selenak

This was not just an but the most famous, most expensive GDR tv production, and somehow I didn't watch it until this last week. The title is somewhat misleading, since it's All Saxony, (Nearly) All The Time, and Prussia only has two cameos (in episode 2) in the first four episodes, not becoming equally important in terms of location and character until the last two episodes (which are set early in the Seven Years War). The miniseries is loosely based on a a series of novels by a nineteenth century Polish author collectively referred as "the Saxon series". If he already took liberties with history, the show then added some. Something else to keep in mind: it was created in the 1980s. The first few decades, East Germany found dealing with its Hohenzollern past a bit tricky. On the one hand, imperial feudalism and militarism = BAD, obviously. On the other hand, by the 1980s, they GDR was in dire need of money, tourists were an income, and national pride was a thing again. And given the content of this miniseries, I also suspect someone in the production team said: "You know how they're all glued to the tv screen in the west, watching these decadent American shows where people have sex and scheme all the time? We can do that, too, with more nudity than the Yanks and way better fashion, and still justify it as national heritage!"

Keep this in mind as I give you the summary of the six episodes:

Episode 1: Countess Cosel (Part I):

August(us) the Strong: the series starts in the late 1690s when I'm crowned as King of Poland for the first time, but I get played by Dietrich Körner throughout, and he looks like he's somewhere in his late 50s or early 60s. I just abandoned the proud Protestant Saxon heritage of House Wettin in order to get my hands on Poland, since they accept only Catholic sovereigns. By this, you can see I have large scale ambitions. I also really like to party!

Charles of Sweden: I'm the wannabe Alexander of the Baroque, just on the throne and determined to invade and make war! Saxony is just a piece of cake for me. Watch me kick Russian ass next once I'm done here!

Swedes: rape and pillage, which is shown in a few discreet shots, also plunder a castle without raping, which is good for:

Anna Constantia von Hoym: I'm the leading lady of the first two parts, and I will not forget this, Swedish bastards.

Flemming: I'm August's scheming advisor and most important minister, and I have to tell him that our army just isn't up to battlling Charles. We have to sue for peace as long as we still have Saxony and give up on Poland for now.

August: This is humiliating, but fine, I'll do it. But I'll be back!

August: *parties in Dresden to cheer himself up, dares everyone to describe their fave mistresses*

Treasury Chancellor Hoym: I don't have one, because my wife is the most beautiful woman of the country. Way more beautiful than your current maitresse en titre. She's the most beautiful woman of the world!

selenak: You clearly haven't read Livy. Also, didn't Anna meet August when the Hoym town residence burned and she organized the fire fighting? Wasn't that dramatic enough for you, Polish novelist and German scriptwriters?

August: She's invited to my next ball.

Olav von Rosen: I'm an OC who is in all the episodes. Currently I am a young man bravely escorting Anna from the recently plundered castle to Dresden despite some more marauding Swedes with evil intentions. Charles still uses us as his backyard, you know.

Anna (to Hoym): I can't believe you. Where do you think this is going?

Hoym: Look, he's my boss.

August: You're hot. I'm still King.

Anna: Prince Elector right now, and also, if you want to play Henry VIII, I'm playing Anne Boleyn. I have no intention of becoming your next mistress. If you like it, put a ring on it.

Flemming: What's that? You're jut supposed to be the next piece of fluff! Your majesty, no way!

August: Relax, I have it all under control. Look, Anna, I'm already married, and so are you. And since I'm now Catholic, divorce is just not on.

Anna: But you want me all for yourself, don't you?

August: I really really do.

Anna: I'll divorce Hoym if you give me a marriage promise in writing in which you swear that you'll marry me if you ever become a widower.

Flemming: Don't do it!

August: I never wanted a woman more. Here's your marriage pledge in writing, Anna. Only the best for you! Once you're divorced, you need a new title. How about Countess Cosel?

Anna: Thank you. Since you are now my fiancee and basically my husband, I take a wifely interest in the government of this country. Starting with the fact we're still sort of occupied by the goddam Swedes.

August: Not forever, I promises. Did I mention I have long term plans? Poland back, of course, but more than that. The current Emperor has no sons, see.

Anna: But he has a brother who'll succeed him.

August: The brother doesn't have any sons yet, either. I love gambling, and I'm banking on the fact the Habsburs will die out. My oldest kid is going to marry the current Emperor's daughter, older cousin to not yet born MT. You see where this is going, Darling?

Anna: I love a man with a plan. So, about those Swedes....

Charles: I'm off to another round with Peter the not yet Great, but I want to do some sightseeing first and visit Dresden incognito.

Anna: August, Charles is in Dresden incognito. We could totally capture him and end your humiliation.

August: This would go against the royal bro code. Sorry, no can do.

Anna: Rosen, organize the capture of Charles anyway behind August's back, it's for his own good.

Flemming: Aha, the slut is making a mistake! Your Majesty, guess what I just found out?

August: Meets up with Charles as per the royal bro code.

Rosesn: Can't capture Charles if my King is also around, sorry.

Charles: So, August, before I leave, I keep hearing about how strong you are, want to demonstrate?

August: *bends a bar of iron around Charles in the form of a horse's shoe, then throws it away, in a none too subtle demonstration of how he could have captured Charles if not for the royal bro code*

Charles: First time I am impressed by you. So long! Off to earn more glory against Peter.

Anna (to August): I don't believe you. We could have...argh! What kind of a King are you?

August: Since you insulted my manliness, I'm off to Malapart, the most famous pre-Fritz battle of the century, where I'll meet young FW, Grumbkow and Seckendorff off screen and have a lot of sex with other women!

Peter the about to become Great: *wins against Charles*

Charles: *retreats in depression and infamy, will not get old*

Flemming: At last, things are looking better. Now we can get Poland back, and I can surely get rid of Cosel. He's having lots of sex with other women already, time to get him an alternate mistress.

Anna: I'll leave it at one jealous scene and then reconsider since I actually missed you, offering you a compromise: other one night stands, fine, but I'm your true Queen.

August: Of course you are.

A few more happy years during which Anna is the uncrowned Queen and produces some children: *ensue*

Flemming: Grrr. Argh. But now that Lescynski guy has finally left. Poland beckons, your majesty!

Anna: Farewell, dearest. I have a bad feeling about this....

Episode 2: Countess Cosel (Part II):

August: Hi, Polish ladies. Missed me?

Flemming: At last, I've found one who captures his attention for longer than a night. Also, I'm censoring the Royal Mail so he doesn't get any of Cosel's love letters, only the ones where she's irritated by his not replying and sharp tongued!

August: You're hot.

Rival: I want to be a mistress, not a one night stand.

August: ...okay. Anna maybe could do with some competition.

Flemming: *fakes a murder attempt on the new mistress, makes it look like Anna ordered it*

Rival: I'm not going back with you to Saxony if I have to fear for my life. Banish that evil woman!

August: Um. Well. Flemming, send someone to tell Anna tactfully she should leave Dresden and go to Pillnitz for a while. After some time, when tempers have cooled down...

Flemming: *sends messenger who tells Anna that she's banished to Pillnitz, but has to leave her children behind*

Anna: No way! Rosen, let's try to meet August on the road.

Flemming: Your majesty, Countess Cosel has disobeyed a direct order.

August: Make her go to Pillnitz, I don't care how!

Anna: *is escorted forcibly to Pillnitz*

Rosen: Countess, sorry, but I think Flemming knows if you ever manage to see the King, he's screwed. He'll kill you. We should escape. I'll organize it.

Anna: Thanks, loyal knight.

Escape: *happens, but with interruptions; Anna and the kids are already on the escape boat when she sees there are fireworks in Dresden (literal ones) and decides she needs to try one last time*

August: *sees Anna wearing a masque, approaches her* You're hot. How come I haven't seen you before?

Anna: Because you're a complete cad, you bastard. I've had it now with you. Bye!

Escape: *continues, now with added obstacle of furious August sending soldiers after them, but loyal Rosen manages to smuggle them out of Dresden anyway*

Anna, Rosen and the kids: *arrive in Berlin*

Flemming: Your Majesty, we have a problem. Your youngest kid by Cosel is a boy. You're a widower now. As long as she has that marriage promise in writing, she could make a case that she is in fact your wife, and thus he another legitimate son. Your oldest son will never become King of Poland, let along Emperor, if that question mark hangs over him. Do it for the Imperial future, your majesty! We need to get that marriage pledge, and the Countess Cosel to go with it. It's way too dangerous to let her hang out in neighbouring Prussia.

August: ....I see your point and am tearing out the last of my love of my heart. We need to get FW to return Anna to us. How? Let's call my secretary.

Young Page Brühl: I am now entering the narrative played as a late teen by future director Leander Hausmann. The actor who'll play me from the next episode onwards is Leander's dad.

Young Brühl: August's secretary, have some more wine, it's not like the King is going to need you in the next five minutes.

Secretary: *passes out drunk*

Brühl: Sorry, your majesty, your secretary is passed out, but maybe I can help?

August: Not unless you can write a letter making FW return Anna to me.

Brühl: Not a problem. *writes* Dear FW, if you send my ex back I'm returning some tell deserters to you. Love, August. P.S. Also you don't want people to think your're harboring sluts in Berlin, do you?

August and Flemming: *are impressed*

August: That's one promising young man.

FW: Tall deserters, you say? *heart eyes* Arrest the slut and deliver her to August!

Anna: *arrives in Stolpen as a prisoner*

Soldier in the Stolpen garnison: *falls in love with Anna*

Rosen: This has potential. Don't give up, Countess!

Anna: I never do.

Flemming: *gets his hands on the marriage pledge by blackmailing the Jewish banker Rosen has left it withÜ

FW: *has his second scene of the episode, at an event which is a mix of his and Fritz' trip to Dresden and the Zeithain camp*

Orzelska (silent role): *dances suggestively like Salome*

selenak: Why is she blonde? All the Orzelska's I've seen so far were brunettes.

Fritz (played by very much not a teenager actor): *looks*

Fritz: Leutnant Keith, we must escape!

Leutnant Keith: I am apparently a mix of Keith the page, Peter Keith and Katte, and say this escape thing might be difficult:

Fritz: Gonna do it, though.

FW: *Catches him, drags him in front of everyone and abuses him*

Flemming (to August): Okay, the Prussian King has calmed down now and is ready to leave. But I have a bad feeling that the kid is never going to get over the fact this happened in front of lots of Saxons.

*exit Prussians from the tale for the next few episodes*

Anna: *changes clothes with the young soldier in love with her, escapes the castle, is met by loyal Rosen outside*

Young Soldier: *leaves the castle because can't bear to be without Anna, which naturally alerts the guards to the fact they just saw him leave the castle TWICE*

Anna: *after some action scene horseriding, is recaptured*

Anna: This is just not the episode for succeful escapes.

*Some time later*

August: I want to try out those new canons FW sold me. The Stolpen area has some tough rocks to shoot at.

Anna: He's totally using that as an excuse to visit me, I just know it.

August: shoots at rocks, leaves without visiting.

Anna:... I guess that's it for me. You shall not see me on screen again, audience, though I live for many decades more.

From:

selenak

Episode 3: Brühl (Part I)

Brühl (now played by a man in his 40s): The last episode ended in 1730, and now it's 1733, since August has just died in Warsaw. I still look 24 years older. Just go with it. I am the J.R. Ewing of the Rokoko age, your main character for the next two eps, and now I have to bring the news of August's demise to his son, future August III., who is in Dresden.

Sukowski: I started out as a page as well but am future August III.'s bff. Clearly, that means I get to rule once my bud is King, because he likes me best. I have nothing to fear from Brühl, who can do the financial stuff. I'm a military man! Hey Brühl! Back from Warsaw?

Brühl: Sadly, our glorious King has died.

Sukowski: OMG we have to tell my buddy!

Brühl: Clearly he shouldn't get such sad news without emotional support. How about getting his wife and his confessor so they can break it to him gently? Also, I must get out of these travel cloths and wear something appropriate for such news, see you later with the other two.

Sukowski: That's actually a good idea. Okay, see ya!

Brühl: *gets a page* Tell young(er) August you've seen me, but not that I sent you.

Brühl: *is summoned by August the soon III while Sukowski is still busy tracking down the wife and the confessor*

Brühl: *tells August the soon III. the news, is there for him*

Wife, Confessor, Sukowski: Arrive too late.

Sukowski, when the other two take over: But I thought we were to tell him together?

Brühl: Sorry, I was summoned, I didn't even have time to change. But I swear I have no ambitions. You are the only one for PM, clearly!

August the soon III: So you're going to be my PM, Suko, but you, Brühl, you're going to be my second most important minister.

Brühl: If I must.

Brühl: *has sex with the Countess Moscynska, daughter of August the Strong and Anna Countess Cosel*

Brühl: *during sex*: Your father was the coolest, I am actually sorry that he's dead, and I'm so into you not just because you're hot but because you're his daughter and that of the one and only Cosel*

Brühl: *after sex*: So did I mention that your Dad is who I want to be?

Moscynska: You're lucky we're into kink in this family. Well, you can't be him, but you could totally be the power behind the throne.

Brüh: That'll do.

Watzdorf: I'm an idealistic enlightened thinker, writing pamphlets against the corruption at court, especially as practised by the two ex pages Sukowski and Brühl.

(

selenak: *googling him later: You're nothing of the sort and already have several rape suits following you at this point.)

Franziska: I'm a young naive, totally in love with you.

Tweedledum and Tweedledee: We're two civil servants, one of us going to become Sukowski's minion, one Brühl's. We sort of deliver the economic commentary on events from now on.

Maria Josepha: I'm August the now III's wife, Mt's cousin and thus a proud Habsburg and very Catholic.

Guarini: I'm the confessor from earlier, and the evil priest of the remaining episodes. I scheme.

Sukowski: So, I have plans for Saxony. The Austrians are really going downhill in this decades. Isn't Silesia a nice province next door? We should totally invade it!

Maria Josepha: What?

Guarini: And that's why we should back the other one.

Maria Josepha: But is that Brühl more reliable? Isn't he a Protestant?

Guarini: We should marry him to a Catholic lady. Doesn't your Bohemian lady-in-waiting here have a daughter named Franziska?

Franziska: But I love Watzdorf! Brühl, I know you're into Mosczynska, can't you let me be with my true love?

Brühl: Not if I want to continue my career, darling. Not giving up Moscynska, though. I'm afraid our engagement is on.

selenak: Hang on... Franziska? Your future wife is called Marianne! Also she did not have a thing with Watzdorf. *googles* Maria Anna Franziska, okay, fair enough though her biography says she used "Marianne".

Watzdorf: *is busy writing more pamphlets against Sukowski and Brühl*

Sukowski: I'm punishing the printer.

Brühl: Pff. I'm buying the printer and bribing him by making him the official court printer. What's that you say, minion, my fiancee and Watzdorf? Well well well. Do tell Sukowski's minion in strict confidence Watzdorf is about to launch an exposé on Sukowski's Silesia plans!

Sukowski: *arrests Watzdorf, puts him into Königstein*

Franziska: Fine, I'll marry you, if you promise to help me to set my beloved free and avenge myself on that bastard Sukowski.

Brühl: Naturally.

Episode 4: Brühl (II):

Sukowski: So, about Silesia. I think that's absolutely brilliant plan of mine, and history will prove me right, you'll see.

Brühl: Maybe we should try to get it politically instead? Seeing as our army isn't anywhere near as large as the Austrian one?

Sukowski: You're not a military man, Brühl, you don't understand. Here are my secret plans to explain it, though, while I'm off to fight for the Habsburg Emperor against the Turks. We're still subjects to the Emperor, after all, so I can't deny the request.

Brühl: *makes copy of the secret plans, and gives them to the Austrian envoy*

Vienna: WTF?

Maria Josepha, Guarini, Brühl, all in their respective ways to August III: Sukowski got you in a hell of a lot of trouble with the Emperor with these Silesia plans. He needs to go.

August III: I'm just into art and building palaces, can't we all be nice together?

Everyone else: No!

Meanwhile, on the front:

Sukowski: Hello there. You seem a trustworthy veteran. Let's be friends.

Rosen: By all means. You should be careful.

Sukowski: Eh, the King loves me. I'll always stay on top!

Rosen: I've heard that before. Countess Cosel is still at Stolpen.

Sukowski: I'll make August release her when I get back, he's completely unlike his Dad.

Sukowski: *gets a letter that he's dismissed as PM*

Sukowski: WTF? *rides home, manages to see August III despite Brühl's precautions*

August III: I just want peace and love, can't it stay as it was?

Everyone else: NO.

Franziska: So, husband, if I seduce August III who unlike his father has been a loyal husband so far and make him banish Sukowski, will you then see to it that my beloved Watzdorf is released from Königstein?

Brühl: Naturally.

Brühl: *tells minion that he wants Watzdorf to be freed, but phrases it in a way that makes it very clear what really should happen*

Minion: *tells sub minion to do go to Königstein*

Subminion: I don't think this will end well for me, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Other civil servant minion: Sukowski, the only thing that can save you now is if we get the dirt on Brühl. Maybe that Watzdorf who used to write the pamphlets knows me? I'm off to Königstein to find out.

Watzdorf: *is thrown of the walls of Königstein as a free dead body*

Brühl: Sukowski did that.

Franziska: I'm not THAT naive. Also I'm going to have sex with every handsome young guy who comes my way from this point onwards in revenge on you, but not with you, you bastard.

(

selenak: I suppose the ten children you two had together don't exist in this miniseries. Also you two wrote love letters to each other twenty years post marriage, but okay, based on a 19th century novel written at point when official history was completely anti Brühl.)

Brühl: That's okay, dearest, Moscynska and I are still an item, anyway.

August III: Brühl, you're now my only minister and bff and everything.

Brühl: Yay!

Episode 5: From the time of the 7 Years War (I):

Brühl: So, I've been thinking. Silesia got unfortunately nabbed by Fritz of Prussia, but Saxony can still end up as a superpower by diplomacy, since he's been pissing off everyone else in the last decade. I' have this brilliant plan of creating an alliance between France and Austria, with Russia and Sweden joining in. And Saxony right in the middle.

Moscynska: Wow. How come you're letting this Kaunitz guy all the credit?

Brühl: I'm modest like that.

*change of location to.... Sanssouci*

Fritz (now played by an actor who got famous for this part, Arno Wyzniewski): Fredersdorf (first word of dialogue he has), let's talk exposition and establish that I'm the toughest, meanest, magnificent bastard of the era. Brühl is officially outclassed.

Fredersdorf (played by actor somewhat smaller than Wyzniweski, Joachim Tomaschewsky): No question about it, but since I'm not just your treasurer but also your spy master, I'd still like to know what he's up to.

Italian greyhounds: *are always around Fritz; this is a plot point*

Max de Simoni: I'm one of the two new OCs, a handsome young Swiss adventurer who wants to serve Fritz.

Fredersdorf: You can do that in Dresden as our spy. Countess Brühl is still into young guys lilke you. Seduce her and find out what Brühl is up to.

Simoni: You want me to have sex for Prussia?

Fredersdorf: Absolutely.

Simoni: I never thought serving the Hohenzollern could be such fun.

Simoni: *has sex with Franziska who gets him a job as one of Brühl's undersecretaries*

Pepita von Nostiz: I'm the new naive, in love with a Prussian soldier, who leaves his regiment for a night of love with me. Dresden is just three hours away on horseback, after all.

Prussian soldier: *gets shouted at by his superior officer, draws his sword, realises that he's done, is arrested*

Fritz: Anyone who draws on his superior officer needs to get executed for the sake of discipline in my army.

Fredersdorf: ...But he's a promising young guy otherwise, so maybe some mercy?

Fritz: No. Discipline! Also I don't like deserters.

Pepita: I hate the King of Prussia and swear revenge forever and ever.

Xaver Maslowski: I'm the other new OC, in love with Pepita, tormented by the fact Simoni, who, lilke me, is an undersecretary at Brühl's, flirts with her as well and no one can resist him.

Simoni: *actually gets his hands on the secret documents proving the alliance against Prussia* RED ALERT RED ALERT.

Fritz: ....okay, I'll admit to being just a bit surprised. Clearly, action is called for. Fredersdorf, time to invade again, I've been getting rusty! We're off to Saxony.

Minion: Um. The Prussian army is currently invading our country.

Brühl: Your majesty, while that is a admittedly a bit worrying, it's only a temporary set back. No way Fritz can win against the armies of our allies.

Allies: armies we're going to send next year.

Saxon commander: No way our army can hold off the Prussians until then.

Brühl: ... I think you and I should retreat to Königstein, your majesty.

Episode 6: From the time of the 7 Years War (II):

Fritz: *still in Sanssouci* Fredersdorf, I still need intel on Brühl. Even from Königstein.

Fredersdorf: Will see to it, but why are we still in Sanssouci when it's now autumn of 1756 and we've taken most of Saxony except Pirna and Königstein?

Fritz: Because the producers got permission to film here, and by God, they're going to film here. So every time I'm not explicitly in a battle, I hop back to Sanssouci. It's just a few hours!

Pepita, Maria Josepha, Franziska and Guarini: *conspire in the Dresden palace where the Queen still lives, even under Prussian occupation*

Pepita: I had this brilliant idea of how we can save Saxony from Fritz. We kidnap him, then use him as leverage.

Maria Josepha: Sounds like a plan to me. Countess Brühl, write to your husband to tell him that.

Franziska: Will do, and Pepita, send me your hot Swiss admirer whom I'm still banging as well, we'll use him as a courier.

Simoni: rides to Sanssouci (seriously, the number of times they find an excuse to show that palace is amazing), reports to Fritz about a secret plan, but doesn't actually now WHICH scheme because Franziska hasn't told him what's in the letter and the letter was written in chiffre*

Fritz: You seem competent, and I like your looks. Are you by any chance musical?

Simoni: I play the cembalo.

Fritz and Simoni: *play a flute/cembalo duet*

Simoni: shows up in Königstein

Brühl in Königstein: *is slowly getting stir crazy and suspects a mole, but suspects poor innocent Waslawski, not Simoni, who is just that irresistible to everyone

Guarini in Dresden: As an evil priest, I'm not putting my trust into this kidnapping scheme. We need a fallback scheme. Here's a potion in a black bottle. To be used if the kidnapping doesn't work out. Got that, Glasow?

Glasow: *is a middle aged overweight man* And I get absolution?

Guarini: That's what evil priests spreading the opiate of the masses are for.

Maslawski (not knowing any of this): Pepita, to prove my love for you, I'll be the one to kidnap Fritz, personally.

Maslawski: *spies on Fritz to get a sense of his schedule, thus seeing Simoni depart from the Prussians*

Maslawski: tells this to Pepita

Simoni: *back in Dresden to figure out what the secret plan is*

Simoni: Hi, Franziska. Let's have sex, I've missed you.

Franziska. So I hear you've been hanging out with the Prussians? That's what little Pepita claims anyway.

Simoni: Slander! Okay...I sort of spent some time in Berlin, but I'm Swiss, you know, which means neutral, and can I help it Fritz wanted to play a duet with me?

Franziska: I empathize. You've got a hot bod, you're smart, and they say he doesn't like women.

Simoni: Countess! *wink, nudge* You're the hottest, though.

selenak: Wow. This is the first time this miniseries seem to as much as hint at the existence of non-straight orientation in anyone.

Pepita's grandmother: *Is a Fritz fan, has heard Pepita's plotting and sends an anonymous (as not to incriminate her granddaughter) warning letter to Fritz that he's about to be kidnapped*

Fritz: *dictates instructions - in Sanssouci - that if he's shot, the invasion should proceed anyway, and if he's kidnapped, any instructions from him thereafter are to be ignored, then heads off to Bohemia, because*

Austrians: have managed to get an army together to fight Fritz at Lobowitz

Fritz: *wins*

Brühl and August: That's it, alas. We're off to Warsaw.

Glasow: *puts Guarini's poison in Fritz' chocolate cup* (at Sanssouci, Fritz came back immediately after the battle)

Fritz: *sits reading with an Italian greyhound in his lap, tells Glasow to put the chololate next to him*

Glasow: *does so, leaves*

Fritz: *smiles lovingly at dog, lets it drink the chocolate*

Italian Greyhound not named out loud*: *dies*

Fritz: REVENGE!

Glasow: *is tortured, incriminates all the conspirators, not just Guarini, including Simoni (because he's seen him with Franziska a lot)

Fritz: Simoni what? Okay, he is to be hanged, just like Glasow.

Glasow: *is hanged*

selenak: But he wasn't executed! ... Never mind.

Prussian soldiers: Search chez Franziska Brühl for Simoni (and telling her she'd to leave for Warsaw to join her husband and the King there)

Simoni: *escapes through secret door*

Simoni: *is shot when trying to make a run for it anyway, dies*

Pepita: Maslawski, now I can tell you I love only you.

Maslawski: Ditto.

Epilogue scenes in quick montage: *Fritz wins at Prague, loses at Kolin, but doesn't have a melt down because he's too manly and tough for that but says he'll win again in the next one, wins Roßbach and Leuthen after dramatic speech, cut to end of 7 Year War which the narrator tells was was a few years later*

Narrator: 1763 was also the year August III. died. And Brühl. But we're still living in the echoes of Saxony's splendour and Prussia's glory.

From:

mildred_of_midgard

Am exercising significant amounts of willpower to adhere to my salon hiatus resolutions, but am here to let you know I read this gleefully and have bookmarked it for future replies.

From:

cahn

hahahaha OMG Fritz probably writes frequent emails to All Staff all the time Re: Tips to Keep Your Batteries Lasting Longer. Some of these tips are actually completely incorrect but hey, he does them and his batteries last longer than everyone else's, so...

From:

cahn

*nods* Yeah, I thought that was a little more positive than in your (overall) writeup :) Also: :( therapy for everyone, as mildred says. (I mean, I imagine some of that is just age! but I also imagine some of it is... her life. As mildred said in the fic.)

From:

cahn

Hee! But it would have to end differently from canon Christmas Carol, no? Or is this going to be an AU where Fritz is scared into being nicer for a while?

From:

cahn

This is awesome, thank you! <3

...except for the part where all the other Polish aristocratic families now hate his guts in jealous indignation and where he actually takes that coronation oath seriously and tries his best for Poland. Which is not the best for Russia.

:( Poor Poniatowski.

From:

cahn

I mean... if you wanted to make a sexy soap opera, you could definitely do worse than August the Strong. A lot worse :P

(uh, real life meeting of Anna and August seems much cooler than what they actually went with??)

lol to the royal bro code! (I guess the royal bro code, as we'll see, is less funny to the women)

August: *sees Anna wearing a masque, approaches her* You're hot. How come I haven't seen you before?

OH AUGUST NO

FW: Tall deserters, you say? *heart eyes*

OMG FW, everyone knows about you

Leutnant Keith: I am apparently a mix of Keith the page, Peter Keith and Katte, and say this escape thing might be difficult:

what. Well, okay?

From:

cahn

Moscynska: You're lucky we're into kink in this family.

HAHAHAHAHA

([personal profile] selenak: *googling him later: You're nothing of the sort and already have several rape suits following you at this point.)

Wow. Okay, writers of this thing...

Sukowski: So, I have plans for Saxony. The Austrians are really going downhill in this decades. Isn't Silesia a nice province next door? We should totally invade it!

Maria Josepha: What?

Me: What? Poland?

August III: I'm just into art and building palaces, can't we all be nice together?

Everyone else: No!

LOL. The 18th century, right there. (...actually, I guess, all of politics. But never mind that.)

August III: I just want peace and love, can't it stay as it was?

Everyone else: NO.

HAHAHAHA I FEEL YOU AUGUST III

Brühl: *tells minion that he wants Watzdorf to be freed, but phrases it in a way that makes it very clear what really should happen*

lol I feel like I saw this plot point in Tosca (yeah, I know, not original to that either, but just, lol)

Fredersdorf (played by actor somewhat smaller than Wyzniweski, Joachim Tomaschewsky):

...this would seriously distract me, sort of like when I watched Hamilton and the guy playing Hamilton was taller than anyone else in the cast, like, apparently it is totally OK with me that they're all POCs but the height thing is so weird??

Fredersdorf, time to invade again, I've been getting rusty!

HAHA this is great! Obviously exactly how it happened

Fritz: Because the producers got permission to film here, and by God, they're going to film here. So every time I'm not explicitly in a battle, I hop back to Sanssouci. It's just a few hours!

AHAHAHA okay I laughed really hard at this

Fritz and Simoni: *play a flute/cembalo duet*

sorry, I laughed at this too

(at Sanssouci, Fritz came back immediately after the battle)

HAHAHAHA

[personal profile] selenak: But he wasn't executed! ... Never mind.

LOL!

Epilogue scenes in quick montage: *Fritz wins at Prague, loses at Kolin, but doesn't have a melt down because he's too manly and tough for that but says he'll win again in the next one, wins Roßbach and Leuthen after dramatic speech, cut to end of 7 Year War which the narrator tells was was a few years later*

Wow, that was... kind of... whiplash!

Thank you for sharing this creation with us :D

Edited (hit post too soon) Date: 2021-01-04 06:05 am (UTC)

From:

cahn

Guess who is reading Lehndorff again?? Me!

I'd done a couple of lessons of Duolingo pretty consistently every day during our two-month hiatus, and I'm really pleased to report that I can definitely tell a difference. Unsurprisingly, my vocabulary sucks really badly still (the way Duolingo is structured, I can't really learn vocab very well unless it's something I already knew from some other context), but surprisingly, at least to me, the structure of Lehndorff's sentences is, if not transparent, at least quite a bit easier for me to parse than it was before Yuletide, I think just because I've had two months' more practice (and harder lessons) now. So while it's pretty rare for me to be able to figure out a sentence entirely, because I don't know the words, at least I can usually follow it once I refer to the translation for all the words I don't know, which was often not the case before Yuletide.

I'm also seeing what you mean, Selena, about how Lehndorff gets better over time. The word-portraits he does now are still really fun, but not as masterful as that Wartensleben one.

From:

cahn

idk how much I'll be able to do -- I expect this is probably about the maximum I can do in one day, especially since weekend -- but as it's also easier now, we'll see how it goes.

-1753 15th June Countess Bentinck! Sort of interesting that she's been mentioned before (at least I think it's the same person?) but this is where he gives the thumbnail sketch. Aw to her being ugly AND the wrong sex for Heinrich :P

What is certain is that she left her Galten to meet a Count v. d. Lippe to live together, who did not shine in the world with the mindset of a Stoic.

LOL

- 17 June the prince plays the viola I had to go show this to my daughter, who plays viola :D (Viola is relatively easy to play if one plays violin.)

- 22 June. The peasants stop us and it makes a funny fight, our servants beat these poor peasants through and they are delighted to receive 16 groschen for all these blows.
Ha ha. Yes I'm sure that was funny and delightful for the peasants. Geez you guys.

-" Obwohl seit vier Jahren Großmutter, ist sie im Begriff sich mit einem jungen Mann zu vermählen, der sie »um der schönen Augen ihrer Schatulle willen« heiratet." So I think this is making a joke about marrying her for her money??

From:

selenak

Yes, same Countess Bentinck. It should be said that other than Lehndorff here, everyone describes her as attractive (including Catherine the Great in her memoirs who had a girl crush on her as Bentinck was the first woman she saw riding and generally being cool), so either it's one of these cases where someone is attractive due to their charm, independent of their looks... or Lehndorff was just a bit worried she might convert Heinrich after all. (Her portrait doesn't tell, as it's a standard 18th century female portrait, and unless we're talking older women, these all look alike.

She left her husband, btw, i.e. "Gatten" (Gatte in the accusativ), not "Galten".

Peasants: sigh. Yeah. It has precedent: The Great Prince Elector (aka Fritz' great granddad) once had the citizens of Berlin and the citizens of Spandau (then not yet a part of Berlin) beat each other up for his entertainment. They got paid, too.

So I think this is making a joke about marrying her for her money??

Yes. "Despite having been a grandmother since four years, she's about to marry a young man who weds her for the beautiful eyes of her treasure box."