cahn | Announcing Rheinsberg: Frederick the Great discussion post 10

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So for anyone who is reading this and would like to learn more about Frederick the Great and his contemporaries, but who doesn't want to wade through 500k (600k?) words worth of comments and an increasingly sprawling comment section:

We now have a community,

rheinsberg, that has quite a lot of the interesting historical content (and more coming regularly), organized nicely with lots of lovely tags so if there's any subject you are interested in it is easy to find :D

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From:

mildred_of_midgard

*wipes streaming eyes*

AHAHAHA, wow, this is great, I'm laughing so hard, you have no idea.

Fritz/Heinrich is the best! Really, that's the best historical analogy I've seen for the Silesian wars. :D :D :D

Voltaire tries to swindle the casheer and Fritz tries to take the broccoli without paying altogether.

Of course they do! When charged with shoplifting, Fritz has his lawyer argue that one of Fritz's ancestors was pressured into selling all his shares in the broccoli farm, meaning Fritz was only trying to right an ancient wrong. But for some reason, the head of the supermarket chain just won't accept this and keeps trying to repossess the broccoli.

ETA: "Fritz's lawyer argues that one of Fritz's ancestors was pressured into selling all his shares in the broccoli farm" reminds me of Good Will Hunting's "Grand theft auto, February '94. Where apparently you defended yourself and had the case thrown out by citing Free Property Rights of Horse and Carriage from 1798."

Grand theft broccoli!

Their true problem is that when Fredersdorf wants broccoli and for some reason can't get it himself, Fritz understands Fredersdorf wants broccoli, alright, but he also thinks the gesturing means Fredersdorf has fallen sick and in a panic shouts down the entire store, ordering everyone to get his boyfriend some BROCCOLI.

You know, that's pretty good for traumatized Fritz!

Fritz/Algarotti: Algarotti understands Fritz wants broccoli, sure, but he thinks broccoli is boring and brings home some dishy alternate vegetable. He's persuasive enough to make Fritz eat it, but that's the reason why Fritz never sends Algarotti out shopping agian.

Okay, so you know what's hilarious, I'm busy putting together a mega-post that I hope to have ready today, and one of the passages I included involves Algarotti sending Fritz broccoli! So when I saw a comment titled "Broccoli, you say?" I thought had you turned up this episode. Since you have anticipated things from this mega-post before. :D

But then it turned out, much, much more golden than that. Props to you!

Fritz/Suhm and Fritz/Peter: my heart breaks. Especially poor Suhm. At least he didn't have to witness the takeover of the cash register where he used to work and still knows people.

Fritz and Peter fail the broccoli test hard. Sadness. :(

Fritz/Katte: I wouldn't dare. Over to you, Mildred.

ROFL. I was reading through and mentally counting: "Okay, five boyfriends down, one to go--oh it's Katte! I can't wait to see what she's done with Katte!"

:-P

Okay, here goes.

By the time Fritz gestures that he wants broccoli, Katte's already looking for their favorite kind. But he's forced to signal that the store's all out and won't be back in stock until tomorrow. Fritz signals back that it's a broccoli emergency and can't wait. After a quick exchange of "Are you SURE?" "YES!", Katte loyally texts a friend who works for a rival seller to smuggle him broccoli, all the while knowing that it's against the rules of this supermarket to bring outside food in.

Unfortunately, he's caught, at which point the batshit supermarket owner, livid over the lost business--"How DARE you bring rival produce into MY store!"--has his security goons beat Katte to death, while Fritz watches in horror from the other aisle. After this experience, Fritz becomes a loyal customer and never ever sets foot in the rival supermarket, nor allows anyone else to. He does, however, remain a defiant lifelong eater of his and Katte's favorite brand of broccoli, and boycotts all other flavors.

How's that?

Edited (Grand theft broccoli!) Date: 2020-01-28 09:25 pm (UTC)

From:

cahn

Man. I definitely want to make sure I never shop there! :P

(Of course, this is definitely how I feel about the 18th C in general. DON'T WANT TO LIVE THERE, THANKS.)

From:

mildred_of_midgard

THIS.

From:

mildred_of_midgard

Reading along in Lavisse, and just got to this sentence:

[FW] was so sure of being in the right, that to prohibit the exportation of wool [from Prussia], he ordered as the penalty "strangulation."

See? This is how FW runs his store!

I don't want to shop there either.

From:

selenak

'Tis a most fitting tale, true to the Broccoli and the Katte spirit of it all. :) Thank you, and glad the others made you laugh:)

Also, the Broccoli/Algarotti coincidence of timing is hilarious. On that note, thank you for making all these McDonogh excerpts for us!

From:

mildred_of_midgard

In the spirit of crackfic, it occurs to me this would make a great "five times Fritz didn't get broccoli, and one time he did" fic.

Didn't:
- Voltaire
- Algarotti
- Peter
- Fredersdorf (Fritz too busy freaking out)
- Katte (we could make it less tragic--he just gets dragged off for questioning or something)

Did:
- Heinrich!

From:

selenak

It would, and if either of you wants to use it to write one, go ahead! (I'm really really rl busy till the end of February from now on, alas.)

From:

mildred_of_midgard

Contribution from raven_aorla, writer of mob boss fics (with whom I absolutely had to share this gem):

raven_aorla: I bet Algarotti got a romanesco. They are related to broccoli but are so much more intriguing

me: *googles* Oh, yes!

me: First documented in Italy!

raven_aorla: but look at the fractals, Fritz! I had to!

raven_aorla: "Produces a stunning apple-green whorled head with better taste and texture than most of the finest broccolis. Widely grown and prized in Italy."

raven_aorla: And presumably also loved by math nerds.

Edited Date: 2020-01-29 07:38 pm (UTC)

From:

cahn

raven_aorla: And presumably also loved by math nerds.

Lol, indeed I have never actually eaten a romanesco or seen them in RL but the one reference I have seen to them was a picture in a recreational math book :) (I have forgotten which one, could have been one my daughter was reading)

From:

mildred_of_midgard

Well, what we know is that it's *definitely* what Algarotti got Fritz. :D

I had never heard of them! Or if I had run across them in a fractal context somewhere, which I might have, I had forgotten.