AHAHAHA, wow, this is great, I'm laughing so hard, you have no idea.
Fritz/Heinrich is the best! Really, that's the best historical analogy I've seen for the Silesian wars. :D :D :D
Voltaire tries to swindle the casheer and Fritz tries to take the broccoli without paying altogether.
Of course they do! When charged with shoplifting, Fritz has his lawyer argue that one of Fritz's ancestors was pressured into selling all his shares in the broccoli farm, meaning Fritz was only trying to right an ancient wrong. But for some reason, the head of the supermarket chain just won't accept this and keeps trying to repossess the broccoli.
ETA: "Fritz's lawyer argues that one of Fritz's ancestors was pressured into selling all his shares in the broccoli farm" reminds me of Good Will Hunting's "Grand theft auto, February '94. Where apparently you defended yourself and had the case thrown out by citing Free Property Rights of Horse and Carriage from 1798."
Grand theft broccoli!
Their true problem is that when Fredersdorf wants broccoli and for some reason can't get it himself, Fritz understands Fredersdorf wants broccoli, alright, but he also thinks the gesturing means Fredersdorf has fallen sick and in a panic shouts down the entire store, ordering everyone to get his boyfriend some BROCCOLI.
You know, that's pretty good for traumatized Fritz!
Fritz/Algarotti: Algarotti understands Fritz wants broccoli, sure, but he thinks broccoli is boring and brings home some dishy alternate vegetable. He's persuasive enough to make Fritz eat it, but that's the reason why Fritz never sends Algarotti out shopping agian.
Okay, so you know what's hilarious, I'm busy putting together a mega-post that I hope to have ready today, and one of the passages I included involves Algarotti sending Fritz broccoli! So when I saw a comment titled "Broccoli, you say?" I thought had you turned up this episode. Since you have anticipated things from this mega-post before. :D
But then it turned out, much, much more golden than that. Props to you!
Fritz/Suhm and Fritz/Peter: my heart breaks. Especially poor Suhm. At least he didn't have to witness the takeover of the cash register where he used to work and still knows people.
Fritz and Peter fail the broccoli test hard. Sadness. :(
Fritz/Katte: I wouldn't dare. Over to you, Mildred.
ROFL. I was reading through and mentally counting: "Okay, five boyfriends down, one to go--oh it's Katte! I can't wait to see what she's done with Katte!"
:-P
Okay, here goes.
By the time Fritz gestures that he wants broccoli, Katte's already looking for their favorite kind. But he's forced to signal that the store's all out and won't be back in stock until tomorrow. Fritz signals back that it's a broccoli emergency and can't wait. After a quick exchange of "Are you SURE?" "YES!", Katte loyally texts a friend who works for a rival seller to smuggle him broccoli, all the while knowing that it's against the rules of this supermarket to bring outside food in.
Unfortunately, he's caught, at which point the batshit supermarket owner, livid over the lost business--"How DARE you bring rival produce into MY store!"--has his security goons beat Katte to death, while Fritz watches in horror from the other aisle. After this experience, Fritz becomes a loyal customer and never ever sets foot in the rival supermarket, nor allows anyone else to. He does, however, remain a defiant lifelong eater of his and Katte's favorite brand of broccoli, and boycotts all other flavors.
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Re: Broccoli, you say?
Date: 2020-01-28 06:25 pm (UTC)AHAHAHA, wow, this is great, I'm laughing so hard, you have no idea.
Fritz/Heinrich is the best! Really, that's the best historical analogy I've seen for the Silesian wars. :D :D :D
Voltaire tries to swindle the casheer and Fritz tries to take the broccoli without paying altogether.
Of course they do! When charged with shoplifting, Fritz has his lawyer argue that one of Fritz's ancestors was pressured into selling all his shares in the broccoli farm, meaning Fritz was only trying to right an ancient wrong. But for some reason, the head of the supermarket chain just won't accept this and keeps trying to repossess the broccoli.
ETA: "Fritz's lawyer argues that one of Fritz's ancestors was pressured into selling all his shares in the broccoli farm" reminds me of Good Will Hunting's "Grand theft auto, February '94. Where apparently you defended yourself and had the case thrown out by citing Free Property Rights of Horse and Carriage from 1798."
Grand theft broccoli!
Their true problem is that when Fredersdorf wants broccoli and for some reason can't get it himself, Fritz understands Fredersdorf wants broccoli, alright, but he also thinks the gesturing means Fredersdorf has fallen sick and in a panic shouts down the entire store, ordering everyone to get his boyfriend some BROCCOLI.
You know, that's pretty good for traumatized Fritz!
Fritz/Algarotti: Algarotti understands Fritz wants broccoli, sure, but he thinks broccoli is boring and brings home some dishy alternate vegetable. He's persuasive enough to make Fritz eat it, but that's the reason why Fritz never sends Algarotti out shopping agian.
Okay, so you know what's hilarious, I'm busy putting together a mega-post that I hope to have ready today, and one of the passages I included involves Algarotti sending Fritz broccoli! So when I saw a comment titled "Broccoli, you say?" I thought had you turned up this episode. Since you have anticipated things from this mega-post before. :D
But then it turned out, much, much more golden than that. Props to you!
Fritz/Suhm and Fritz/Peter: my heart breaks. Especially poor Suhm. At least he didn't have to witness the takeover of the cash register where he used to work and still knows people.
Fritz and Peter fail the broccoli test hard. Sadness. :(
Fritz/Katte: I wouldn't dare. Over to you, Mildred.
ROFL. I was reading through and mentally counting: "Okay, five boyfriends down, one to go--oh it's Katte! I can't wait to see what she's done with Katte!"
:-P
Okay, here goes.
By the time Fritz gestures that he wants broccoli, Katte's already looking for their favorite kind. But he's forced to signal that the store's all out and won't be back in stock until tomorrow. Fritz signals back that it's a broccoli emergency and can't wait. After a quick exchange of "Are you SURE?" "YES!", Katte loyally texts a friend who works for a rival seller to smuggle him broccoli, all the while knowing that it's against the rules of this supermarket to bring outside food in.
Unfortunately, he's caught, at which point the batshit supermarket owner, livid over the lost business--"How DARE you bring rival produce into MY store!"--has his security goons beat Katte to death, while Fritz watches in horror from the other aisle. After this experience, Fritz becomes a loyal customer and never ever sets foot in the rival supermarket, nor allows anyone else to. He does, however, remain a defiant lifelong eater of his and Katte's favorite brand of broccoli, and boycotts all other flavors.
How's that?