F2: So, I've read your fandom primer. And I thought I might check out Ferney_Philosphe's blog. I mean, I'm more of a Kant guy, but still.
FrankfurtHans: You checked out the comments, didn't you.
F2: I checked out the comments.
FrankfurtHans: Just tell me you didn't link anything that could lead to me. I mean, I live in a free city outside of Prussian territory, but that's never stopped anyone before.
F2: Hey, what do you take me for? No way. It's just... See, when I posted my historical Fritz/Katte AU, I went and checked out the competition. As you do. And in the "Prussian Royalty and Friends RPF" section, there was this guy who had put up some really weird poetry. I mean, the language and metaphors were pretty blah, but it was all RPF. One about what's his name, the Italian has-been, and the other, get this, about how the King's former lector Darget got buggered into gayness. Pretty gross.
FrankfurtHans: Imagine my eyeroll. Look, I've written some explicit stuff myself. It's fine that you don't want to, but some of us dig it.
F2: Thanks for the condescension. Way beside the point. I've read your explicit stuff, if you must know. If you think that poem about how you can't understand Greek and Roman art without having lots of sex is going to cut it... anyway. So this poetry guy has a handle. "Alcibiades", I kid you not. And in addition to the poetry, he's also written some prose RPF about Prince Heinrich and some page. We're talking real names here, man, not AU like me. Some novel called "Henri and the Beautiful Marwitz: An Education for Today's Youth".
FrankfurtHans: I don't get it. I mean, I'm all for fleshing outo supporting characters, but if you are mad enough to write RPF about one of the Hohenzollern using their real names, why Heinrich ? I've seen pictures.
F2: Sometimes I wonder about you, FrankfurtHans.
FranfurtHans: What pleases is permitted. (Erlaubt is, was gefällt.)
F2: If you say so. Aaaaanyway. You know how I'm about to invent the mystery genre for German literature? My sense of said mystery tingled. I thought: who does that? Also, the "Alcibiades" handle sounded familiar, and not from the last time I've read Plato. So I went back to the Ferney_Philosophe blog, and sure enough, some user named Alcibiades is by far the most frequent commenter. Despite being banned by the moderator a couple of times. Though for some reason they keep readmiting him. At that point I smelled a rotten apple.
FrankfurtHans: Are you thinking what I'm thinking...?
F2: Well, if there's another conclusion, I'd like to hear it. And now I'm thinking of taking down my own RPF, because I'm just not cool with all that fourth wall breaking. I like my royals fictional. Or constitutionally fenced in. You-know-who is neither.
FrankfurtHans: Firstly, no way you're taking down that play. It's a masterpiece. And I spent about a million hours beta-reading it. Secondly, for someone who's about to invent the German mystery genre, you're missing one big logical point.
F2: Which is?
FrankfurtHans: You're writing in German. Which means you're totally safe. He's never going to read a single line of your stuff.
F2: ....You know what, you're right. Phew. Okay, gotta go now, duty calls. I can't wait till I'm out of Würtemberg for good!
*F2 has left the Chat*
FrankfurtHans: *uploads "Shakespeare Rocks" Manifesto, "The German Novel: A Primer" Manifesto, "French Drama: Ancient and Outdated" Manifesto* , *German Poetry: A Model of Our Own* Manifesto*
FrankfurtHans: *attaches uploads to email*
FrankfurtHans: *writes Email to FanfictionWriter "Alcibiades": Dear Alcibiades, congrats on the originality of your RPF. Anyone can write about the top dogs; way to go for the bottoms! I'm a fan. However, you might want to branch out, in the interest of reaching a wider readership. Seriously, most users these days just aren't that into French anymore. See documents attached. Hopefully, we'll read your first German story or poem soon! Yours, FrankfurtHans*
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The Very Secret Chat Transcripts: The Sequel
Date: 2020-01-24 10:48 am (UTC)FrankfurtHans: You checked out the comments, didn't you.
F2: I checked out the comments.
FrankfurtHans: Just tell me you didn't link anything that could lead to me. I mean, I live in a free city outside of Prussian territory, but that's never stopped anyone before.
F2: Hey, what do you take me for? No way. It's just... See, when I posted my historical Fritz/Katte AU, I went and checked out the competition. As you do. And in the "Prussian Royalty and Friends RPF" section, there was this guy who had put up some really weird poetry. I mean, the language and metaphors were pretty blah, but it was all RPF. One about what's his name, the Italian has-been, and the other, get this, about how the King's former lector Darget got buggered into gayness. Pretty gross.
FrankfurtHans: Imagine my eyeroll. Look, I've written some explicit stuff myself. It's fine that you don't want to, but some of us dig it.
F2: Thanks for the condescension. Way beside the point. I've read your explicit stuff, if you must know. If you think that poem about how you can't understand Greek and Roman art without having lots of sex is going to cut it... anyway. So this poetry guy has a handle. "Alcibiades", I kid you not. And in addition to the poetry, he's also written some prose RPF about Prince Heinrich and some page. We're talking real names here, man, not AU like me. Some novel called "Henri and the Beautiful Marwitz: An Education for Today's Youth".
FrankfurtHans: I don't get it. I mean, I'm all for fleshing outo supporting characters, but if you are mad enough to write RPF about one of the Hohenzollern using their real names, why Heinrich ? I've seen pictures.
F2: Sometimes I wonder about you, FrankfurtHans.
FranfurtHans: What pleases is permitted. (Erlaubt is, was gefällt.)
F2: If you say so. Aaaaanyway. You know how I'm about to invent the mystery genre for German literature? My sense of said mystery tingled. I thought: who does that? Also, the "Alcibiades" handle sounded familiar, and not from the last time I've read Plato. So I went back to the Ferney_Philosophe blog, and sure enough, some user named Alcibiades is by far the most frequent commenter. Despite being banned by the moderator a couple of times. Though for some reason they keep readmiting him. At that point I smelled a rotten apple.
FrankfurtHans: Are you thinking what I'm thinking...?
F2: Well, if there's another conclusion, I'd like to hear it. And now I'm thinking of taking down my own RPF, because I'm just not cool with all that fourth wall breaking. I like my royals fictional. Or constitutionally fenced in. You-know-who is neither.
FrankfurtHans: Firstly, no way you're taking down that play. It's a masterpiece. And I spent about a million hours beta-reading it. Secondly, for someone who's about to invent the German mystery genre, you're missing one big logical point.
F2: Which is?
FrankfurtHans: You're writing in German. Which means you're totally safe. He's never going to read a single line of your stuff.
F2: ....You know what, you're right. Phew. Okay, gotta go now, duty calls. I can't wait till I'm out of Würtemberg for good!
*F2 has left the Chat*
FrankfurtHans: *uploads "Shakespeare Rocks" Manifesto, "The German Novel: A Primer" Manifesto, "French Drama: Ancient and Outdated" Manifesto* , *German Poetry: A Model of Our Own* Manifesto*
FrankfurtHans: *attaches uploads to email*
FrankfurtHans: *writes Email to FanfictionWriter "Alcibiades": Dear Alcibiades, congrats on the originality of your RPF. Anyone can write about the top dogs; way to go for the bottoms! I'm a fan. However, you might want to branch out, in the interest of reaching a wider readership. Seriously, most users these days just aren't that into French anymore. See documents attached. Hopefully, we'll read your first German story or poem soon! Yours, FrankfurtHans*
FrankfurtHans: *hits *send*