Fritz/Heinrich is the best hateship. (Not counting Fritz/Voltaire as one here, because that one started out as a mutual admiration society ship and sort of remained one in addition to being an intellectual love affair becoming an intellectual love/hate affair. Related, but a slightly different trope.) And will definitely be the central focus of my future Heinrich story, but Lehndorff is one of the beacons of sanity in between.
But yes, for Lehndorff, it wasn't always healthy due to the unevenness. Still, I guess that if you'd asked him in his old age when he was happily retired that if he could rewrite his life to he never gets closer to Heinrich than respectful courtier to King's younger brother whom he greets at court events now and then, would he do so, he'd have said no. I should probably say something about his relationships with his two wives - which were far better ones than the ones any Hohenzollern had with theirs and are actually good examples of how "marriage following the socially expected pattern" can work out if you're ready to treat your spouse decently. By which I don't just mean not be a jerk, but spend some time together that's not about procreation, take her part when your mother attacks her for not having as many noble ancestors as your own bloodline, laugh together, be ready to comfort when needed, that kind of thing. In neither case was it a passionate relationship, and never mind Heinrich, the ladies don't get passionate outbursts like Hotham of the few months, either, or wistful romantic thoughts like Cousin Frau von Katte, the one who got away. He didn't spontanously fall in love with either; in the first case, because his brother had died, making him the heir, and there was a war going on, the pressure to continue the family line was high, and in the second case, because all the children form the first marriage were dead, there was still the pressure to continue the line. He looked for someone pretty, gentle and from the right class, preferable with a good dowry, and found them. But he liked both women as people, and they seem to have liked him.
(With the caveat that we don't have the wives' testimonies about their marriages - maybe it would have been different from Lehndorff's diary entries, who knows?)
So these were good marriages by the standards of the day, and compared to many others around him, they were looking downright stellar. But he Comes across as having a need for romance and passion, and the great passion of his life happened to be one prince from an insane family with hidden and not so hidden issues. He wasn't as lucky as Fredersdorf in that a) Fritz definitely was ready to commit himself to Fredersdorf, if not monagamously than in terms of emotion and sharing a life together, and b) Frederdorf got the job challenge to end all job challenges out of it. (Boredom ws never one of Fredersdorf's problems!) Then again, in other respects, he was luckier - he had lots of relationships and an emotional life aside from Heinrich, his health didn't get wrecked, and eventually he had surviving children, which he definitely wanted to have. (Not just for the family line, he liked children. His first wife has kid siblings whom Lehndorff spends time with for playing and teaching, and he's also good with AW's kids when he sees them.)
If Fredersdorf and Lehndorff weren't so trustworthy and discreet about their problematic faves, though, Lehndorff's canonical visit at Fredersdorf's could totally be an occasion for them to share a bottle and empathize about being in love with Hohenzollerns who a) get a kick out of playing emotional power games with each other, and b) have a thing for charismatic bastards!
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Re: My Englishmanm, or: Heinrich Who?
Date: 2020-01-09 06:30 pm (UTC)But yes, for Lehndorff, it wasn't always healthy due to the unevenness. Still, I guess that if you'd asked him in his old age when he was happily retired that if he could rewrite his life to he never gets closer to Heinrich than respectful courtier to King's younger brother whom he greets at court events now and then, would he do so, he'd have said no. I should probably say something about his relationships with his two wives - which were far better ones than the ones any Hohenzollern had with theirs and are actually good examples of how "marriage following the socially expected pattern" can work out if you're ready to treat your spouse decently. By which I don't just mean not be a jerk, but spend some time together that's not about procreation, take her part when your mother attacks her for not having as many noble ancestors as your own bloodline, laugh together, be ready to comfort when needed, that kind of thing. In neither case was it a passionate relationship, and never mind Heinrich, the ladies don't get passionate outbursts like Hotham of the few months, either, or wistful romantic thoughts like Cousin Frau von Katte, the one who got away. He didn't spontanously fall in love with either; in the first case, because his brother had died, making him the heir, and there was a war going on, the pressure to continue the family line was high, and in the second case, because all the children form the first marriage were dead, there was still the pressure to continue the line. He looked for someone pretty, gentle and from the right class, preferable with a good dowry, and found them. But he liked both women as people, and they seem to have liked him.
(With the caveat that we don't have the wives' testimonies about their marriages - maybe it would have been different from Lehndorff's diary entries, who knows?)
So these were good marriages by the standards of the day, and compared to many others around him, they were looking downright stellar. But he Comes across as having a need for romance and passion, and the great passion of his life happened to be one prince from an insane family with hidden and not so hidden issues. He wasn't as lucky as Fredersdorf in that a) Fritz definitely was ready to commit himself to Fredersdorf, if not monagamously than in terms of emotion and sharing a life together, and b) Frederdorf got the job challenge to end all job challenges out of it. (Boredom ws never one of Fredersdorf's problems!) Then again, in other respects, he was luckier - he had lots of relationships and an emotional life aside from Heinrich, his health didn't get wrecked, and eventually he had surviving children, which he definitely wanted to have. (Not just for the family line, he liked children. His first wife has kid siblings whom Lehndorff spends time with for playing and teaching, and he's also good with AW's kids when he sees them.)
If Fredersdorf and Lehndorff weren't so trustworthy and discreet about their problematic faves, though, Lehndorff's canonical visit at Fredersdorf's could totally be an occasion for them to share a bottle and empathize about being in love with Hohenzollerns who a) get a kick out of playing emotional power games with each other, and b) have a thing for charismatic bastards!