his epiphany at the end is that we all are going to have boxes, we just get to choose whether we have boxes that we're comfortable with or not.
I have to admit, when I first read this as a kid, my reaction to the guy who doesn't like authority and flouts arbitrary rules and wants to join the military was severe cognitive dissonance. It was almost difficult for me to concentrate on enjoying the book because I was so busy making speeches at him.
Like, dude. I'm from a military family. The military is the most micromanaging environment you can imagine. Your father wanting control for the sake of control has nothing on the military. Their goal is to break down your sense of individuality and make you into a mindless automaton so they can overcome your natural instincts and send you into combat to die. Here you are, refusing to run track because you don't want to stay in the lines, and you think the military will be a more congenial environment? You have no idea what you're getting yourself into.
My takeaway was "kid flees abusive family, ends up in environment exactly reproducing his upbringing. Typical."
Nowadays, with more historical context on the draft, etc., and his epiphany, I'm willing to accept that maybe it was the best of a bad set of options. I still get some cognitive dissonance, though.
quite frankly most of the scenes with Bullet and Abigail in them just completely baffle me, because they understand each other's laconic words and I have no idea what they're talking about.
Okay, so it's not just me! It's incomprehensible, right? I always read the laconic Gram passages with an urge to shake her and/or Voigt by the shoulders and shout, "What? WHAT? Tell me!!"
“I don’t want you making the mistake of thinking life isn’t going to be hard,” she said again.
“I know that,” Dicey said.
“I guess you do. I’m a natural fool,” Gram said, “I keep trying to count on things. And Sammy’s too young for that long bike ride. Maybe,” Gram said.
Dicey knew what the woman was thinking, how the connections were made behind her eyes. But she was glad nobody was there to hear how Gram’s mind jumped around.
That passage always made me feel a little better, because I'm not Dicey but at least there's some acknowledgement that that non sequitur wouldn't make sense to anyone else in the world either.
I finally, on my last reading, figured out this one:
“She didn’t. Came right in the back door. Like certain other people,” Gram said, looking at Dicey who had done just that, that first day they came. “Not what you’re thinking,” Gram said quickly to Mina.
“I didn’t think it was,” Mina answered just as quickly.
It drove me crazy for years, because I felt like we, the readers, were actually supposed to know what Gram didn't mean this time, and I couldn't. It was a huge *aha* moment when I finally figured out that she meant black people going through separate entrances, which is a piece of historical context I probably didn't have when I first read this book.
Although looking for that passage, I ran across this one in Stranger,
“She came to the back door,” Mrs. Tillerman announced. Then the woman’s face turned back to Mina. “Not what you think,” she said. Mina could have laughed aloud.
“I know,” she said. Mrs. Tillerman’s mind just jumped around, and Mina guessed she could understand how she got her reputation.
I find that interesting in 2 ways. One is the acknowledgement that, yeah, it really is confusing, and the other is that the dialogue is subtly different. Same meaning, different phrasing. Whereas, at least for the Chappelle passage in Song and Solitary, the dialogue is verbatim identical:
“Hey, Dicey. I hear you put Chappelle into his place.”
“That wasn’t me, that was Mina. Do you know Mina?”
“Everybody knows Mina."
“Yeah. Everybody knows you, too, friend.”
“That’s what they think. So, was this essay as good as everybody says?”
“No, of course not. But it was pretty good.”
“Hey, Dicey. I hear you put Chappelle into his place.”
“That wasn’t me, that was Mina. Do you know Mina?”
“Everybody knows Mina.”
“Yeah. Everybody knows you too, friend.”
“That’s what they think. So, was this essay as good as everybody says?”
“No, of course not. But it was pretty good.”
How's that for cross-referencing? ;) And according to Kindle, I have now officially opened and searched all 7 of the Tillerman books in the last hour. <3 e-books.
But really I don't really know what the book is about. It's about the Vietnam War and the way the fear of the draft permeates everything; it's about race relations (or the lack thereof); it's about running cross-country; it's about how authority perpetuates itself; it's about a kid from an emotionally abusive family who is himself kind of violent; it's about all those things but it's not really about any of them.
Yeah, there is a *lot* going on in this book. It's thematically very dense for such a short, easy-to-read book. All of them are, but as you note, maybe especially this one.
Wow, I have not been cross-referencing the chronology this closely, so thank you for the Maybeth insight.
Although violence is not my thing I… am kind of cheering Bullet on when he wrecks Honey's car (although to be fair it isn't at all Honey's fault. But still).
When I read that one recently, my reaction was a big WTF. What did she ever do? She's most likely another victim of Frankie's lies, as the Tompkins line shows. I'm sorry, but destroying somebody's car because they're hanging out with a deadbeat dad is not only not proportionate, it's not even aimed at the right person. (I have a similar "whoa there" reaction to the song "Before He Cheats", but at least there it's the guy's car, even though the singer is trash-talking the girlfriend while she's at it.)
But yeah, believe it or not based on my comments here, this was always one of my favorite Tillerman books, possibly just behind Homecoming, or tied with Song. Patrice is one of my favorite characters, to the point where I borrowed his "I will cunningly talk under torture and escape and warn everyone before the enemy can use the info" plan for a character in my current WIP. I want Patrice fic. (Which reminds me, I think I have a vague memory of the same John fic you have a vague memory of, I should reread too.)
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Date: 2017-08-10 11:42 pm (UTC)I have to admit, when I first read this as a kid, my reaction to the guy who doesn't like authority and flouts arbitrary rules and wants to join the military was severe cognitive dissonance. It was almost difficult for me to concentrate on enjoying the book because I was so busy making speeches at him.
Like, dude. I'm from a military family. The military is the most micromanaging environment you can imagine. Your father wanting control for the sake of control has nothing on the military. Their goal is to break down your sense of individuality and make you into a mindless automaton so they can overcome your natural instincts and send you into combat to die. Here you are, refusing to run track because you don't want to stay in the lines, and you think the military will be a more congenial environment? You have no idea what you're getting yourself into.
My takeaway was "kid flees abusive family, ends up in environment exactly reproducing his upbringing. Typical."
Nowadays, with more historical context on the draft, etc., and his epiphany, I'm willing to accept that maybe it was the best of a bad set of options. I still get some cognitive dissonance, though.
quite frankly most of the scenes with Bullet and Abigail in them just completely baffle me, because they understand each other's laconic words and I have no idea what they're talking about.
Okay, so it's not just me! It's incomprehensible, right? I always read the laconic Gram passages with an urge to shake her and/or Voigt by the shoulders and shout, "What? WHAT? Tell me!!"
“I don’t want you making the mistake of thinking life isn’t going to be hard,” she said again.
“I know that,” Dicey said.
“I guess you do. I’m a natural fool,” Gram said, “I keep trying to count on things. And Sammy’s too young for that long bike ride. Maybe,” Gram said.
Dicey knew what the woman was thinking, how the connections were made behind her eyes. But she was glad nobody was there to hear how Gram’s mind jumped around.
That passage always made me feel a little better, because I'm not Dicey but at least there's some acknowledgement that that non sequitur wouldn't make sense to anyone else in the world either.
I finally, on my last reading, figured out this one:
“She didn’t. Came right in the back door. Like certain other people,” Gram said, looking at Dicey who had done just that, that first day they came. “Not what you’re thinking,” Gram said quickly to Mina.
“I didn’t think it was,” Mina answered just as quickly.
It drove me crazy for years, because I felt like we, the readers, were actually supposed to know what Gram didn't mean this time, and I couldn't. It was a huge *aha* moment when I finally figured out that she meant black people going through separate entrances, which is a piece of historical context I probably didn't have when I first read this book.
Although looking for that passage, I ran across this one in Stranger,
“She came to the back door,” Mrs. Tillerman announced. Then the woman’s face turned back to Mina. “Not what you think,” she said. Mina could have laughed aloud.
“I know,” she said. Mrs. Tillerman’s mind just jumped around, and Mina guessed she could understand how she got her reputation.
I find that interesting in 2 ways. One is the acknowledgement that, yeah, it really is confusing, and the other is that the dialogue is subtly different. Same meaning, different phrasing. Whereas, at least for the Chappelle passage in Song and Solitary, the dialogue is verbatim identical:
“Hey, Dicey. I hear you put Chappelle into his place.”
“That wasn’t me, that was Mina. Do you know Mina?”
“Everybody knows Mina."
“Yeah. Everybody knows you, too, friend.”
“That’s what they think. So, was this essay as good as everybody says?”
“No, of course not. But it was pretty good.”
“Hey, Dicey. I hear you put Chappelle into his place.”
“That wasn’t me, that was Mina. Do you know Mina?”
“Everybody knows Mina.”
“Yeah. Everybody knows you too, friend.”
“That’s what they think. So, was this essay as good as everybody says?”
“No, of course not. But it was pretty good.”
How's that for cross-referencing? ;) And according to Kindle, I have now officially opened and searched all 7 of the Tillerman books in the last hour. <3 e-books.
But really I don't really know what the book is about. It's about the Vietnam War and the way the fear of the draft permeates everything; it's about race relations (or the lack thereof); it's about running cross-country; it's about how authority perpetuates itself; it's about a kid from an emotionally abusive family who is himself kind of violent; it's about all those things but it's not really about any of them.
Yeah, there is a *lot* going on in this book. It's thematically very dense for such a short, easy-to-read book. All of them are, but as you note, maybe especially this one.
Wow, I have not been cross-referencing the chronology this closely, so thank you for the Maybeth insight.
Although violence is not my thing I… am kind of cheering Bullet on when he wrecks Honey's car (although to be fair it isn't at all Honey's fault. But still).
When I read that one recently, my reaction was a big WTF. What did she ever do? She's most likely another victim of Frankie's lies, as the Tompkins line shows. I'm sorry, but destroying somebody's car because they're hanging out with a deadbeat dad is not only not proportionate, it's not even aimed at the right person. (I have a similar "whoa there" reaction to the song "Before He Cheats", but at least there it's the guy's car, even though the singer is trash-talking the girlfriend while she's at it.)
But yeah, believe it or not based on my comments here, this was always one of my favorite Tillerman books, possibly just behind Homecoming, or tied with Song. Patrice is one of my favorite characters, to the point where I borrowed his "I will cunningly talk under torture and escape and warn everyone before the enemy can use the info" plan for a character in my current WIP. I want Patrice fic. (Which reminds me, I think I have a vague memory of the same John fic you have a vague memory of, I should reread too.)