(no subject)

[cahn]

Happy things:

-Thanksgiving!

-My in-laws are THE BEST.

-Seeing E. play with her cousins.

-Getting to see A. and talk about Fringe and Yuletide.

-The 9-hour train ride back from Thanksgiving with E and her grandma, which I was expecting to be a disaster and in fact was mostly very pleasant and I got some work done, which I desperately needed to do

-The fact that E said afterwards that she liked the train ride a lot, even though she kept wishing to be home during it

-Our having gone through three years of E catching every cold that came around, so that now our immune systems are strong enough that when we catch colds it is mostly just annoying instead of super debilitating

-The fact that we have some steps to take about E's meltdowns and maybe we will get somewhere

-I DO NOT HAVE TO RUN MUSIC FIRESIDE THIS YEAR. This makes me absurdly happy, because I do not have the tiiiiiime. (There may however be another post, or two or three, on music drama. Because it is December!)

-The Relief Society (women's organization at my church) is having a dinner tonight and it will be really yummy and fun and I will have a good time and my mother-in-law is coming and she can meet all the cool people I go to church with

Annoying things:

-The fact that E has learned the phrases "I'm bored" and "It's not fair," probably from preschool because I have never said either of these words to her

-My mother-in-law is doing lots of cleaning at our house, which is great and she is really nice and non-boundary-stomping about it, but makes me feel like a failure at housekeeping, which I guess is only fair because I do suck at it

-D's sister's family is awesome but does make me feel inferior. Both parents work full-time, they have two kids, and they have this huge and immaculate house with everything put away in its proper place, and their kids eat healthy food. Whereas we don't even have proper places for a lot of stuff. (We are working on getting more storage space, yes, but it is an ongoing process. Also the getting rid of excess stuff we really suck at.) And if I can stuff two bites of a vegetable into her, I count it a successful day. (Most days are successful, and fortunately she loves beans of all sorts, but still.)

-I suck at everything these days involving organization. Sadly this is most things in my life. (Tutoring and music I can do without thinking. Yuletide fic treat writing also does not involve organization. So it's not everything. But pretty close.)

-Probably at least part of the problem is that cold season has begun, and my motivation goes all to pieces when I'm sick, even though at least it's not as bad as it used to be. Cold season started early this year; we have been sick pretty much since the beginning of October, maybe? Meanwhile, E's grandma came to visit while sick, and now her grandpa has it. So today I started feeling better from the last cold... so I expect I have maybe two days before we catch whatever they have.

-E is still melting down [Apologies for deleting the last post, if you saw it] and actually had to be removed from preschool one day, sigh.

-I am supposed to be making photobooks for both sets of grandparents. When this will happen I don't knoooow

Comments

[cahn]

D's mom is really great -- she spent a lot of time with E on the train so I could get work done. Going on a long train ride by myself sounds really great for getting work done!

Thank you -- our situation is different, of course, as 90% of the time E is completely lovely and high-functioning, which of course is totally awesome. (Of course, there's that other frustration of people who don't see her in meltdown situations thinking I'm exaggerating or over-worried about her. Am I crazy? Am I crazy? as Miles would say :) ) We've got an ASD specialist observing her this week, and the numbers of a couple of other behavioral psychologists to call if necessary. It's also possible she might grow out of it, as I've noticed in general a fairly consistent emotional delay which might just mean she's going through her age-3 tantrums a year late. (But, argh, if I just knew...)

I hope things are going well for you as well. Your last update sounded so great!

[philomytha]

We always think about three sets of circumstances with Philomythulus when we're talking about his challenges - what he can do at his best, what he does on average, and what happens on the worst days. And when you're requesting help, it's that last one that you need to focus on. It's sometimes hurtful and painful - an hour-long meeting where everyone talks about him preferentially hitting the smallest children in the class is not my idea of fun (though it can also be weirdly validating when it turns out the special school or respite centre have the exact same problems that we have at home, because it means it's not just me being inadequate as a parent). But it is a good way of figuring out where to focus the help and support and in understanding what's going on. I hope your specialists can be helpful at that.

[cahn]

*nods* And they're so different! E on her best days / situations is perfectly lovely and accommodating. E on her worst days is... not. And because one of her big triggers right now involves large groups of kids doing things in unison, and no one in our family tends to see her in those sorts of situations, it's hard for them to get it.

...yeah. Just had that meeting about E kicking and hitting (though not particularly the smallest kids). Totally hearing you about the painful but at the same time weirdly validating thing -- okay, it's not just me making up stuff in my head that something is wrong!