Interior programming: 1 Me: 1

[cahn]

So E has started going around saying "You always (or never) do that!" when I do/don't-do something she doesn't like, e.g., "You never do what I want!"

I hate this, because my mom says things like this a lot, and I think it's pretty pernicious in how you think about yourself and other people if you think you (or someone else) is always/never doing whatever. So I've tried very hard not to say anything like this to E, ever, and I couldn't figure out where she was getting it.

Then the other day I found myself saying, "I forgot the birthday present [for E's friend's birthday party] again! I always forget stuff like that!"

...right.

On the other hand, everyone in my family is a rotten communicator. (Including E, although the jury is out as to whether it is familial or simply because she's four.) So when E communicates something well, I take care to praise her and/or thank her for doing so (and conversely, I won't give her what she wants unless she asks nicely (instead of whining) and uses actual words (instead of pointing, saying "that" a lot, etc.)

Her friend: "Can I have the car carrier please?" [I know a normal person would put a comma in there. That's not how it was said, though.]
E: "Here you go. Thank you for asking."

She was directly quoting me. Aww!

Comments

[metaphortunate]

Oh god no I am still comfortably living in denial and telling myself that the kids will not pick up all my horrible habits. D:

But yay for picking up the good ones!

[cahn]

Heh. Yep, it's starting to happen... also the habit where both of us begin pretty much every sentence with "So..." which I understand can get pretty irritating. Passing it on to the next generation!

But there will be some good ones, darn it!