Though I did insist on her learning an instrument, and that really set off the perfectionist thing as well.
Yeah, O's violin studies were prone to this as well, although it helped that he was older by the time he started practicing. And it probably also helped that nobody else in the immediate family plays an instrument (L chose to do choir, I did piano a long time ago but forgot everything, and B, the most musical of us, never learned to play for some reason). Violin was better, but trying to get him to play anything without an orchestra to dilute his individual sound was IMPOSSIBLE, even in an informal family setting (outside of practice, I mean).
but also YES absolutely for childhood trauma around just caring about results (in my case my parents)
I did also have that from my mother and grandmother, but I think it was a secondary effect of the school environment, because they were not at all like that with my brother, who did all his schooling here in the US. It could also, of course, be parents mellowing with a second child, but my grandmother did not mellow between my mother and me, so I think it's the external factors :P
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Date: 2023-02-14 05:17 am (UTC)Yeah, O's violin studies were prone to this as well, although it helped that he was older by the time he started practicing. And it probably also helped that nobody else in the immediate family plays an instrument (L chose to do choir, I did piano a long time ago but forgot everything, and B, the most musical of us, never learned to play for some reason). Violin was better, but trying to get him to play anything without an orchestra to dilute his individual sound was IMPOSSIBLE, even in an informal family setting (outside of practice, I mean).
but also YES absolutely for childhood trauma around just caring about results (in my case my parents)
I did also have that from my mother and grandmother, but I think it was a secondary effect of the school environment, because they were not at all like that with my brother, who did all his schooling here in the US. It could also, of course, be parents mellowing with a second child, but my grandmother did not mellow between my mother and me, so I think it's the external factors :P