Who actually did love him? AW? Old Dessauer maybe? Help me out here.
AW definitely (even in his last month of life, he mentions FW affectionately to Lehndorff), also Charlotte, if those affectionate letters to and from FW are anything to go by. Of course letters can be deceiving, and one expressed devotion to the monarch even when hating his gut, but it's still noticable that there are no "my daughter should let her self be fucked better" cracks about Charlotte and instead tender concern whenever she gets pregnant.
With the other kids, it's hard to say, and of course the younger they were the less they actually saw of him, between all the illnesses in his last decade and him prefering to be with the army when healthy enough. They certainly all respected him beyond his death, but were selective as to what they actually maintained from him, beyond dysfunctional child raising. As you noticed, they basically all ended up as free thinkers instead of being religious, most of them (that were free to do so, poor Sophie and Friederike Luise) were majorly into the arts, and only Charlotte gave the German language and literature a shot, so Fritz was by far the greater influence there. And the big "who was worst" argument certainly doesn't seem to have developed out of passion for FW - I mean, what we hear about its climax isn't Amalie defending him, it's her attacking Mom.
(Heinrich in his last years of life, when prone to nostalgia through the mists of the decades, might move into Wusterhausen, but note he tells brother Ferdinand that he put up SD's and AW's portraits in his bed room. Dad does not get mentioned, despite Wusterhausen being his place.)
Just speculating, I think that it's even more likely that Fritz and Wilhelmine, who hated him, and did look forward to his death, also loved FW (beyond paying lip service to social customs of children loving their parents, I mean), than that the younger sibs (with Ulrike and AW as the cut off point as the middle siblings) did, for whom the big male parental authority figure in their lives became Fritz, not FW. I mean, you have Wilhelmine still trying to impress him with being a good housewife and sending him sausages he might like when she's in Bayreuth and has lived through the family holidays from hell in Berlin, vowing never to go home in his life time again, and there are all those letters from child!Wilhelmine to dear Papa which Oster quotes, including the one where she sends him one of her milk teeth, and the one where she's upset he writes to little Fritz (who can't write back) but not to her. And we all know about Fritz' dreams featuring FW.
As to who of his own generation might have loved FW: Old Dessauer is as good a guess as any. I very much doubt any of the Potsdam Giants loved him back. Grumbkow & Seckendorff were entirely pragmatic about their relationships with him. SD certainly did not, not even right at the start in Fieke & Wilke times. Re: his parents, agree with you; the governess Madame de Rouccoulles would be an option, since he certainly had enough affection and respect for her to want her to raise his oldest son as well during Fritz' toddler years, and governesses certainly come across as the ones loved by royal children more than their mothers in many cases (see also MT & Countess Fuchs, Wilhlemine & Sonsine, Catherine & Babet). But wasn't she also the one being driven to tears by the golden shoe lace swallowing & the like?
ETA: here's what Pöllnitz, as quoted by Gustav Volz, wrote about FW in his history of the four Brandenburg rulers. Given that Pöllnitz was definitely an F1 type of guy, this strikes me as a pretty reasonable assessment:
Friedrich Wilhelm had an excellent mind, and he was very gifted in the interior government of his country, though not balanced in his political aims. He liked to switch from one extreme to the other. (...) In his virtues and flaws, the same contrasts were evident. He was a better son than he was a father. He did love his wife and children, but he treated them harshly. From early childhood onwards, he loved all things military, and had a great aversion to the sciences. This went so far that after his ascension, he'd prefered it if everyone would have chosen the professon of a soldier, and none to study. Consequently, he took little care of the education of his sons. He married his daughters without regard for their fuiture happiness. (...) He has a great ability for sorting through information, a strong imagination, a fantastic memory. He, personally, managed an incredible workload. All departments of government had to report to him and had to go through his hands. Unlike those of others, his ministers never dared to forgve his signature uder a document; he rather signed every single one himself, without relying on them, though he did rely on their discretion and integrity otherwise. At some days, the numbers of orders to officers and civil servants he'd signed rose over a hundred. But the harshness he did not relent in til this dying day meant that his subjects did not mourn for him; he did achieve their admiration, but their love, he never could win.
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FW: Love of the Loveless
Date: 2020-03-21 07:28 am (UTC)AW definitely (even in his last month of life, he mentions FW affectionately to Lehndorff), also Charlotte, if those affectionate letters to and from FW are anything to go by. Of course letters can be deceiving, and one expressed devotion to the monarch even when hating his gut, but it's still noticable that there are no "my daughter should let her self be fucked better" cracks about Charlotte and instead tender concern whenever she gets pregnant.
With the other kids, it's hard to say, and of course the younger they were the less they actually saw of him, between all the illnesses in his last decade and him prefering to be with the army when healthy enough. They certainly all respected him beyond his death, but were selective as to what they actually maintained from him, beyond dysfunctional child raising. As you noticed, they basically all ended up as free thinkers instead of being religious, most of them (that were free to do so, poor Sophie and Friederike Luise) were majorly into the arts, and only Charlotte gave the German language and literature a shot, so Fritz was by far the greater influence there. And the big "who was worst" argument certainly doesn't seem to have developed out of passion for FW - I mean, what we hear about its climax isn't Amalie defending him, it's her attacking Mom.
(Heinrich in his last years of life, when prone to nostalgia through the mists of the decades, might move into Wusterhausen, but note he tells brother Ferdinand that he put up SD's and AW's portraits in his bed room. Dad does not get mentioned, despite Wusterhausen being his place.)
Just speculating, I think that it's even more likely that Fritz and Wilhelmine, who hated him, and did look forward to his death, also loved FW (beyond paying lip service to social customs of children loving their parents, I mean), than that the younger sibs (with Ulrike and AW as the cut off point as the middle siblings) did, for whom the big male parental authority figure in their lives became Fritz, not FW. I mean, you have Wilhelmine still trying to impress him with being a good housewife and sending him sausages he might like when she's in Bayreuth and has lived through the family holidays from hell in Berlin, vowing never to go home in his life time again, and there are all those letters from child!Wilhelmine to dear Papa which Oster quotes, including the one where she sends him one of her milk teeth, and the one where she's upset he writes to little Fritz (who can't write back) but not to her. And we all know about Fritz' dreams featuring FW.
As to who of his own generation might have loved FW: Old Dessauer is as good a guess as any. I very much doubt any of the Potsdam Giants loved him back. Grumbkow & Seckendorff were entirely pragmatic about their relationships with him. SD certainly did not, not even right at the start in Fieke & Wilke times. Re: his parents, agree with you; the governess Madame de Rouccoulles would be an option, since he certainly had enough affection and respect for her to want her to raise his oldest son as well during Fritz' toddler years, and governesses certainly come across as the ones loved by royal children more than their mothers in many cases (see also MT & Countess Fuchs, Wilhlemine & Sonsine, Catherine & Babet). But wasn't she also the one being driven to tears by the golden shoe lace swallowing & the like?
ETA: here's what Pöllnitz, as quoted by Gustav Volz, wrote about FW in his history of the four Brandenburg rulers. Given that Pöllnitz was definitely an F1 type of guy, this strikes me as a pretty reasonable assessment:
Friedrich Wilhelm had an excellent mind, and he was very gifted in the interior government of his country, though not balanced in his political aims. He liked to switch from one extreme to the other. (...) In his virtues and flaws, the same contrasts were evident. He was a better son than he was a father. He did love his wife and children, but he treated them harshly.
From early childhood onwards, he loved all things military, and had a great aversion to the sciences. This went so far that after his ascension, he'd prefered it if everyone would have chosen the professon of a soldier, and none to study. Consequently, he took little care of the education of his sons. He married his daughters without regard for their fuiture happiness. (...)
He has a great ability for sorting through information, a strong imagination, a fantastic memory. He, personally, managed an incredible workload. All departments of government had to report to him and had to go through his hands. Unlike those of others, his ministers never dared to forgve his signature uder a document; he rather signed every single one himself, without relying on them, though he did rely on their discretion and integrity otherwise. At some days, the numbers of orders to officers and civil servants he'd signed rose over a hundred.
But the harshness he did not relent in til this dying day meant that his subjects did not mourn for him; he did achieve their admiration, but their love, he never could win.