I think what happened is a classic case of Fritz (and for that matter, Wilhelmine, in a slightly lesser degree but still) developing sarcasm and humor as a defense mechanism. And also because they enjoy it, of course, but it's still something that happened under pressure and became a weapon.
once Fritz gets to the top, he never, ever seems to grasp there's a difference between punching up and punching down as far as humor is concerned.
I agree completely. The humor/sarcasm, like so many other things Fritz does, is quite clearly a defense mechanism that he never got rid of. And no, I wouldn't expect it either, not from him.
One thing that I'm pretty sure of about Fritz is that he continued feeling threatened and in need of weapons long after the reason for feeling so threatened was gone. This is basic trauma psychology. And that's part of why he kept breaking out the weapons he'd developed in childhood for the rest of his life. Yes, part of it is because being witty is fun, and partly it's just a knee-jerk habit at this point, and he was unable to grasp that this is not a good thing to do, but people in general have an incredibly difficult time letting go of whatever got them through a crisis, even when they have self-awareness that this is hurting more than helping in the current situation, far more self-awareness than he had. And it so happens that what got Fritz through his crisis was attacking. And he remains a pro-active and reactive attacker for the rest of his life, in every domain of his life.
I'm so sorry, Gundling. Having a street named after you in Potsdam these days is no compensation for what must have been a hellish life, though I hope Stade and the others were right and you managed to carve out some safe private space with your wife.
This.
It sounds like a pretty meaningless social courtesy but in this kind of world, it's really not.
Yes. When I moved from student to instructor, there was a bit of a lag before I discovered that I *could not* engage in the same kind of banter with my own students that I could with my fellow students. And I still wish I could track down the students who fell into that lag and apologize! Had I been an absolute monarch at the very top of the hierarchy, there's a good chance I never would have figured this out.
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Re: Messages from the Empress
Date: 2020-03-01 02:48 pm (UTC)once Fritz gets to the top, he never, ever seems to grasp there's a difference between punching up and punching down as far as humor is concerned.
I agree completely. The humor/sarcasm, like so many other things Fritz does, is quite clearly a defense mechanism that he never got rid of. And no, I wouldn't expect it either, not from him.
One thing that I'm pretty sure of about Fritz is that he continued feeling threatened and in need of weapons long after the reason for feeling so threatened was gone. This is basic trauma psychology. And that's part of why he kept breaking out the weapons he'd developed in childhood for the rest of his life. Yes, part of it is because being witty is fun, and partly it's just a knee-jerk habit at this point, and he was unable to grasp that this is not a good thing to do, but people in general have an incredibly difficult time letting go of whatever got them through a crisis, even when they have self-awareness that this is hurting more than helping in the current situation, far more self-awareness than he had. And it so happens that what got Fritz through his crisis was attacking. And he remains a pro-active and reactive attacker for the rest of his life, in every domain of his life.
I'm so sorry, Gundling. Having a street named after you in Potsdam these days is no compensation for what must have been a hellish life, though I hope Stade and the others were right and you managed to carve out some safe private space with your wife.
This.
It sounds like a pretty meaningless social courtesy but in this kind of world, it's really not.
Yes. When I moved from student to instructor, there was a bit of a lag before I discovered that I *could not* engage in the same kind of banter with my own students that I could with my fellow students. And I still wish I could track down the students who fell into that lag and apologize! Had I been an absolute monarch at the very top of the hierarchy, there's a good chance I never would have figured this out.