*nods* I think this is a very common thing, for people who are intellectually driven to be drawn to relationships that are stimulating and exciting -- I feel like I read somewhere that this is a known relationship pitfall for Asperger's-type-A-ish people (and even if you are not on the spectrum, you certainly have some traits!)
I didn't fall into that particular hole too much (then again, I'm not a super workaholic type, so maybe I had less of a tendency anyway) in large part, I feel, because my mom is a fairly overbearing individual, so it took me one serious boyfriend to figure out I wanted someone who was Not Competing With Me. Now, I did fall... every single time... into the "go for the smartest boy in the room" trap (as my best friend, who is also susceptible to this trap, once put it)... I guess I ended up marrying one of those smartest boys, as well. But I actually super lucked out that D is both the smartest guy in the room and extraordinarily chill about it. (Of course, that comes with other disadvantages, but I was willing to live with those. Huh, I wonder whether your friend and D are similar in some ways. D also spent... many... years in grad school, quite happily. Though he also got a heavy dose of Protestant work ethic growing up, so he understood the need of actually getting a reasonable job after that. He would also not have been happy as your listener :P :) )
I can totally see Fritz falling in love with Katte because, well, adolescent, and Katte just happening to be the right sort of person for him (whereas as an adult, and with more choices, he might have gravitated towards the "unhealthy" Voltaire-like relationships :)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: Katte and Fritz (and mildred_of_midgard) psychology
Date: 2019-09-20 04:37 am (UTC)I didn't fall into that particular hole too much (then again, I'm not a super workaholic type, so maybe I had less of a tendency anyway) in large part, I feel, because my mom is a fairly overbearing individual, so it took me one serious boyfriend to figure out I wanted someone who was Not Competing With Me. Now, I did fall... every single time... into the "go for the smartest boy in the room" trap (as my best friend, who is also susceptible to this trap, once put it)... I guess I ended up marrying one of those smartest boys, as well. But I actually super lucked out that D is both the smartest guy in the room and extraordinarily chill about it. (Of course, that comes with other disadvantages, but I was willing to live with those. Huh, I wonder whether your friend and D are similar in some ways. D also spent... many... years in grad school, quite happily. Though he also got a heavy dose of Protestant work ethic growing up, so he understood the need of actually getting a reasonable job after that. He would also not have been happy as your listener :P :) )
I can totally see Fritz falling in love with Katte because, well, adolescent, and Katte just happening to be the right sort of person for him (whereas as an adult, and with more choices, he might have gravitated towards the "unhealthy" Voltaire-like relationships :)