(no subject)

[cahn]

Things that are making me frustrated:
-Writing five lines of code and then deleting one of them (the variable declaration, as it turns out) is not an acceptable amount of work for two full workdays
-That being said, maybe I shouldn't talk, since I spent a large part of yesterday tracking down a bug where the fix I pushed was... two lines of code. No, wait, three, once the code analyst reviewed my fix and pointed out a better solution to me.
-The fact that I am supposed to be working 3/4 time and have been in the office a minimum of 8 hours every day last week and ramping up to 11 for a couple of them, and I have worked for the last two Saturdays, and that this work schedule is likely to be the case this entire month. And I feel like I never see my kid anymore. (She doesn't actually seem to mind, which is good. I think.)
-Our nanny, who keeps trying to convince me that E's development quirks are because I didn't let her do things she wanted to do with E, despite the fact that this makes no logical, much less biological, sense
-Our new couch and chair from IKEA, which are exuding large amounts of smelly chemicals and so I can't actually use them or even want to be in the same room as them right now
-Me. I can't help thinking that if I worked faster, if I were more efficient, that if I didn't get peevish and irritable if I went more than twelve hours without reading something non-science-related, that if I didn't sometimes have to write down all my frustrations, that I would get a lot more done and my kid would get to see me more.

Things that are making me happy:
-The analyst who's cheerfully putting up with me invading his office every ten minutes and asking if I can try something else on his setup.
-The analyst who is keeping his head down and plugging away at the fifteen things I've asked him to do
-Our nanny, who has been more than happy to put in 12-hour days
-The other kid E shares the nanny with, who is one of the smiling-est happy kids I've ever met
-The fact that I got called for jury duty AFTER this month is over, whew
-Our new couch and chair, which are going to be great once we get them aired out
-going to Yosemite next month with friends, so excited
-A lot of interesting things to read right now, even if I ought to be working rather than reading them
-Eugene Onegin, which still rocks and turns out to be great music to work to
-D, who put together the new couch with E's "help," and who has been spending more time with her lately because of my working working
-My kid, who is honestly the cutest kid in the world :)

Comments

[metaphortunate]

Yay good things that help make up for bad things! And that tough times will end.

[cahn]

Yay! I feel bad for complaining, really, since none of those problems are super-bad. Just annoying, like a mosquito that won't go away :)

[thistleingrey]

keeps trying to convince me that E's development quirks are because I didn't let her do things she wanted to do with E

gah, no, because even Reason is at an age where she picks up things all the time by watching people who are not of her household....

[cahn]

Yeah. And I see a spectrum of other parents and other kids enough to be quite confident that this is not the issue. I just hate having to argue over what I feel should be kind of evident to someone who has seen as many kids as she has... I guess, though, that all the kids she spends time with have her as a caretaker, so perhaps I should forgive her for postulating that something she has done with the others but not with E is at fault. But surely just a small application of common sense would tell her that there are many kids in the world who don't have her as a caretaker...