Brühl (now played by a man in his 40s): The last episode ended in 1730, and now it's 1733, since August has just died in Warsaw. I still look 24 years older. Just go with it. I am the J.R. Ewing of the Rokoko age, your main character for the next two eps, and now I have to bring the news of August's demise to his son, future August III., who is in Dresden.
Sukowski: I started out as a page as well but am future August III.'s bff. Clearly, that means I get to rule once my bud is King, because he likes me best. I have nothing to fear from Brühl, who can do the financial stuff. I'm a military man! Hey Brühl! Back from Warsaw?
Brühl: Sadly, our glorious King has died.
Sukowski: OMG we have to tell my buddy!
Brühl: Clearly he shouldn't get such sad news without emotional support. How about getting his wife and his confessor so they can break it to him gently? Also, I must get out of these travel cloths and wear something appropriate for such news, see you later with the other two.
Sukowski: That's actually a good idea. Okay, see ya!
Brühl: *gets a page* Tell young(er) August you've seen me, but not that I sent you.
Brühl: *is summoned by August the soon III while Sukowski is still busy tracking down the wife and the confessor*
Brühl: *tells August the soon III. the news, is there for him*
Wife, Confessor, Sukowski: Arrive too late.
Sukowski, when the other two take over: But I thought we were to tell him together?
Brühl: Sorry, I was summoned, I didn't even have time to change. But I swear I have no ambitions. You are the only one for PM, clearly!
August the soon III: So you're going to be my PM, Suko, but you, Brühl, you're going to be my second most important minister.
Brühl: If I must.
Brühl: *has sex with the Countess Moscynska, daughter of August the Strong and Anna Countess Cosel*
Brühl: *during sex*: Your father was the coolest, I am actually sorry that he's dead, and I'm so into you not just because you're hot but because you're his daughter and that of the one and only Cosel*
Brühl: *after sex*: So did I mention that your Dad is who I want to be?
Moscynska: You're lucky we're into kink in this family. Well, you can't be him, but you could totally be the power behind the throne.
Brüh: That'll do.
Watzdorf: I'm an idealistic enlightened thinker, writing pamphlets against the corruption at court, especially as practised by the two ex pages Sukowski and Brühl.
(selenak: *googling him later: You're nothing of the sort and already have several rape suits following you at this point.)
Franziska: I'm a young naive, totally in love with you.
Tweedledum and Tweedledee: We're two civil servants, one of us going to become Sukowski's minion, one Brühl's. We sort of deliver the economic commentary on events from now on.
Maria Josepha: I'm August the now III's wife, Mt's cousin and thus a proud Habsburg and very Catholic.
Guarini: I'm the confessor from earlier, and the evil priest of the remaining episodes. I scheme.
Sukowski: So, I have plans for Saxony. The Austrians are really going downhill in this decades. Isn't Silesia a nice province next door? We should totally invade it!
Maria Josepha: What?
Guarini: And that's why we should back the other one.
Maria Josepha: But is that Brühl more reliable? Isn't he a Protestant?
Guarini: We should marry him to a Catholic lady. Doesn't your Bohemian lady-in-waiting here have a daughter named Franziska?
Franziska: But I love Watzdorf! Brühl, I know you're into Mosczynska, can't you let me be with my true love?
Brühl: Not if I want to continue my career, darling. Not giving up Moscynska, though. I'm afraid our engagement is on.
selenak: Hang on... Franziska? Your future wife is called Marianne! Also she did not have a thing with Watzdorf. *googles* Maria Anna Franziska, okay, fair enough though her biography says she used "Marianne".
Watzdorf: *is busy writing more pamphlets against Sukowski and Brühl*
Sukowski: I'm punishing the printer.
Brühl: Pff. I'm buying the printer and bribing him by making him the official court printer. What's that you say, minion, my fiancee and Watzdorf? Well well well. Do tell Sukowski's minion in strict confidence Watzdorf is about to launch an exposé on Sukowski's Silesia plans!
Sukowski: *arrests Watzdorf, puts him into Königstein*
Franziska: Fine, I'll marry you, if you promise to help me to set my beloved free and avenge myself on that bastard Sukowski.
Brühl: Naturally.
Episode 4: Brühl (II):
Sukowski: So, about Silesia. I think that's absolutely brilliant plan of mine, and history will prove me right, you'll see.
Brühl: Maybe we should try to get it politically instead? Seeing as our army isn't anywhere near as large as the Austrian one?
Sukowski: You're not a military man, Brühl, you don't understand. Here are my secret plans to explain it, though, while I'm off to fight for the Habsburg Emperor against the Turks. We're still subjects to the Emperor, after all, so I can't deny the request.
Brühl: *makes copy of the secret plans, and gives them to the Austrian envoy*
Vienna: WTF?
Maria Josepha, Guarini, Brühl, all in their respective ways to August III: Sukowski got you in a hell of a lot of trouble with the Emperor with these Silesia plans. He needs to go.
August III: I'm just into art and building palaces, can't we all be nice together?
Everyone else: No!
Meanwhile, on the front:
Sukowski: Hello there. You seem a trustworthy veteran. Let's be friends.
Rosen: By all means. You should be careful.
Sukowski: Eh, the King loves me. I'll always stay on top!
Rosen: I've heard that before. Countess Cosel is still at Stolpen.
Sukowski: I'll make August release her when I get back, he's completely unlike his Dad.
Sukowski: *gets a letter that he's dismissed as PM*
Sukowski: WTF? *rides home, manages to see August III despite Brühl's precautions*
August III: I just want peace and love, can't it stay as it was?
Everyone else: NO.
Franziska: So, husband, if I seduce August III who unlike his father has been a loyal husband so far and make him banish Sukowski, will you then see to it that my beloved Watzdorf is released from Königstein?
Brühl: Naturally.
Brühl: *tells minion that he wants Watzdorf to be freed, but phrases it in a way that makes it very clear what really should happen*
Minion: *tells sub minion to do go to Königstein*
Subminion: I don't think this will end well for me, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
Other civil servant minion: Sukowski, the only thing that can save you now is if we get the dirt on Brühl. Maybe that Watzdorf who used to write the pamphlets knows me? I'm off to Königstein to find out.
Watzdorf: *is thrown of the walls of Königstein as a free dead body*
Brühl: Sukowski did that.
Franziska: I'm not THAT naive. Also I'm going to have sex with every handsome young guy who comes my way from this point onwards in revenge on you, but not with you, you bastard.
(selenak: I suppose the ten children you two had together don't exist in this miniseries. Also you two wrote love letters to each other twenty years post marriage, but okay, based on a 19th century novel written at point when official history was completely anti Brühl.)
Brühl: That's okay, dearest, Moscynska and I are still an item, anyway.
August III: Brühl, you're now my only minister and bff and everything.
Brühl: Yay!
Episode 5: From the time of the 7 Years War (I):
Brühl: So, I've been thinking. Silesia got unfortunately nabbed by Fritz of Prussia, but Saxony can still end up as a superpower by diplomacy, since he's been pissing off everyone else in the last decade. I' have this brilliant plan of creating an alliance between France and Austria, with Russia and Sweden joining in. And Saxony right in the middle.
Moscynska: Wow. How come you're letting this Kaunitz guy all the credit?
Brühl: I'm modest like that.
*change of location to.... Sanssouci*
Fritz (now played by an actor who got famous for this part, Arno Wyzniewski): Fredersdorf (first word of dialogue he has), let's talk exposition and establish that I'm the toughest, meanest, magnificent bastard of the era. Brühl is officially outclassed.
Fredersdorf (played by actor somewhat smaller than Wyzniweski, Joachim Tomaschewsky): No question about it, but since I'm not just your treasurer but also your spy master, I'd still like to know what he's up to.
Italian greyhounds: *are always around Fritz; this is a plot point*
Max de Simoni: I'm one of the two new OCs, a handsome young Swiss adventurer who wants to serve Fritz.
Fredersdorf: You can do that in Dresden as our spy. Countess Brühl is still into young guys lilke you. Seduce her and find out what Brühl is up to.
Simoni: You want me to have sex for Prussia?
Fredersdorf: Absolutely.
Simoni: I never thought serving the Hohenzollern could be such fun.
Simoni: *has sex with Franziska who gets him a job as one of Brühl's undersecretaries*
Pepita von Nostiz: I'm the new naive, in love with a Prussian soldier, who leaves his regiment for a night of love with me. Dresden is just three hours away on horseback, after all.
Prussian soldier: *gets shouted at by his superior officer, draws his sword, realises that he's done, is arrested*
Fritz: Anyone who draws on his superior officer needs to get executed for the sake of discipline in my army.
Fredersdorf: ...But he's a promising young guy otherwise, so maybe some mercy?
Fritz: No. Discipline! Also I don't like deserters.
Pepita: I hate the King of Prussia and swear revenge forever and ever.
Xaver Maslowski: I'm the other new OC, in love with Pepita, tormented by the fact Simoni, who, lilke me, is an undersecretary at Brühl's, flirts with her as well and no one can resist him.
Simoni: *actually gets his hands on the secret documents proving the alliance against Prussia* RED ALERT RED ALERT.
Fritz: ....okay, I'll admit to being just a bit surprised. Clearly, action is called for. Fredersdorf, time to invade again, I've been getting rusty! We're off to Saxony.
Minion: Um. The Prussian army is currently invading our country.
Brühl: Your majesty, while that is a admittedly a bit worrying, it's only a temporary set back. No way Fritz can win against the armies of our allies.
Allies: armies we're going to send next year.
Saxon commander: No way our army can hold off the Prussians until then.
Brühl: ... I think you and I should retreat to Königstein, your majesty.
Episode 6: From the time of the 7 Years War (II):
Fritz: *still in Sanssouci* Fredersdorf, I still need intel on Brühl. Even from Königstein.
Fredersdorf: Will see to it, but why are we still in Sanssouci when it's now autumn of 1756 and we've taken most of Saxony except Pirna and Königstein?
Fritz: Because the producers got permission to film here, and by God, they're going to film here. So every time I'm not explicitly in a battle, I hop back to Sanssouci. It's just a few hours!
Pepita, Maria Josepha, Franziska and Guarini: *conspire in the Dresden palace where the Queen still lives, even under Prussian occupation*
Pepita: I had this brilliant idea of how we can save Saxony from Fritz. We kidnap him, then use him as leverage.
Maria Josepha: Sounds like a plan to me. Countess Brühl, write to your husband to tell him that.
Franziska: Will do, and Pepita, send me your hot Swiss admirer whom I'm still banging as well, we'll use him as a courier.
Simoni: rides to Sanssouci (seriously, the number of times they find an excuse to show that palace is amazing), reports to Fritz about a secret plan, but doesn't actually now WHICH scheme because Franziska hasn't told him what's in the letter and the letter was written in chiffre*
Fritz: You seem competent, and I like your looks. Are you by any chance musical?
Simoni: I play the cembalo.
Fritz and Simoni: *play a flute/cembalo duet*
Simoni: shows up in Königstein
Brühl in Königstein: *is slowly getting stir crazy and suspects a mole, but suspects poor innocent Waslawski, not Simoni, who is just that irresistible to everyone
Guarini in Dresden: As an evil priest, I'm not putting my trust into this kidnapping scheme. We need a fallback scheme. Here's a potion in a black bottle. To be used if the kidnapping doesn't work out. Got that, Glasow?
Glasow: *is a middle aged overweight man* And I get absolution?
Guarini: That's what evil priests spreading the opiate of the masses are for.
Maslawski (not knowing any of this): Pepita, to prove my love for you, I'll be the one to kidnap Fritz, personally.
Maslawski: *spies on Fritz to get a sense of his schedule, thus seeing Simoni depart from the Prussians*
Maslawski: tells this to Pepita
Simoni: *back in Dresden to figure out what the secret plan is*
Simoni: Hi, Franziska. Let's have sex, I've missed you.
Franziska. So I hear you've been hanging out with the Prussians? That's what little Pepita claims anyway.
Simoni: Slander! Okay...I sort of spent some time in Berlin, but I'm Swiss, you know, which means neutral, and can I help it Fritz wanted to play a duet with me?
Franziska: I empathize. You've got a hot bod, you're smart, and they say he doesn't like women.
Simoni: Countess! *wink, nudge* You're the hottest, though.
selenak: Wow. This is the first time this miniseries seem to as much as hint at the existence of non-straight orientation in anyone.
Pepita's grandmother: *Is a Fritz fan, has heard Pepita's plotting and sends an anonymous (as not to incriminate her granddaughter) warning letter to Fritz that he's about to be kidnapped*
Fritz: *dictates instructions - in Sanssouci - that if he's shot, the invasion should proceed anyway, and if he's kidnapped, any instructions from him thereafter are to be ignored, then heads off to Bohemia, because*
Austrians: have managed to get an army together to fight Fritz at Lobowitz
Fritz: *wins*
Brühl and August: That's it, alas. We're off to Warsaw.
Glasow: *puts Guarini's poison in Fritz' chocolate cup* (at Sanssouci, Fritz came back immediately after the battle)
Fritz: *sits reading with an Italian greyhound in his lap, tells Glasow to put the chololate next to him*
Glasow: *does so, leaves*
Fritz: *smiles lovingly at dog, lets it drink the chocolate*
Italian Greyhound not named out loud*: *dies*
Fritz: REVENGE!
Glasow: *is tortured, incriminates all the conspirators, not just Guarini, including Simoni (because he's seen him with Franziska a lot)
Fritz: Simoni what? Okay, he is to be hanged, just like Glasow.
Prussian soldiers: Search chez Franziska Brühl for Simoni (and telling her she'd to leave for Warsaw to join her husband and the King there)
Simoni: *escapes through secret door*
Simoni: *is shot when trying to make a run for it anyway, dies*
Pepita: Maslawski, now I can tell you I love only you.
Maslawski: Ditto.
Epilogue scenes in quick montage: *Fritz wins at Prague, loses at Kolin, but doesn't have a melt down because he's too manly and tough for that but says he'll win again in the next one, wins Roßbach and Leuthen after dramatic speech, cut to end of 7 Year War which the narrator tells was was a few years later*
Narrator: 1763 was also the year August III. died. And Brühl. But we're still living in the echoes of Saxony's splendour and Prussia's glory.
Sachsens Glanz und Preußens Gloria: A Miniseries in six parts (B)
Brühl (now played by a man in his 40s): The last episode ended in 1730, and now it's 1733, since August has just died in Warsaw. I still look 24 years older. Just go with it. I am the J.R. Ewing of the Rokoko age, your main character for the next two eps, and now I have to bring the news of August's demise to his son, future August III., who is in Dresden.
Sukowski: I started out as a page as well but am future August III.'s bff. Clearly, that means I get to rule once my bud is King, because he likes me best. I have nothing to fear from Brühl, who can do the financial stuff. I'm a military man! Hey Brühl! Back from Warsaw?
Brühl: Sadly, our glorious King has died.
Sukowski: OMG we have to tell my buddy!
Brühl: Clearly he shouldn't get such sad news without emotional support. How about getting his wife and his confessor so they can break it to him gently? Also, I must get out of these travel cloths and wear something appropriate for such news, see you later with the other two.
Sukowski: That's actually a good idea. Okay, see ya!
Brühl: *gets a page* Tell young(er) August you've seen me, but not that I sent you.
Brühl: *is summoned by August the soon III while Sukowski is still busy tracking down the wife and the confessor*
Brühl: *tells August the soon III. the news, is there for him*
Wife, Confessor, Sukowski: Arrive too late.
Sukowski, when the other two take over: But I thought we were to tell him together?
Brühl: Sorry, I was summoned, I didn't even have time to change. But I swear I have no ambitions. You are the only one for PM, clearly!
August the soon III: So you're going to be my PM, Suko, but you, Brühl, you're going to be my second most important minister.
Brühl: If I must.
Brühl: *has sex with the Countess Moscynska, daughter of August the Strong and Anna Countess Cosel*
Brühl: *during sex*: Your father was the coolest, I am actually sorry that he's dead, and I'm so into you not just because you're hot but because you're his daughter and that of the one and only Cosel*
Brühl: *after sex*: So did I mention that your Dad is who I want to be?
Moscynska: You're lucky we're into kink in this family. Well, you can't be him, but you could totally be the power behind the throne.
Brüh: That'll do.
Watzdorf: I'm an idealistic enlightened thinker, writing pamphlets against the corruption at court, especially as practised by the two ex pages Sukowski and Brühl.
(
Franziska: I'm a young naive, totally in love with you.
Tweedledum and Tweedledee: We're two civil servants, one of us going to become Sukowski's minion, one Brühl's. We sort of deliver the economic commentary on events from now on.
Maria Josepha: I'm August the now III's wife, Mt's cousin and thus a proud Habsburg and very Catholic.
Guarini: I'm the confessor from earlier, and the evil priest of the remaining episodes. I scheme.
Sukowski: So, I have plans for Saxony. The Austrians are really going downhill in this decades. Isn't Silesia a nice province next door? We should totally invade it!
Maria Josepha: What?
Guarini: And that's why we should back the other one.
Maria Josepha: But is that Brühl more reliable? Isn't he a Protestant?
Guarini: We should marry him to a Catholic lady. Doesn't your Bohemian lady-in-waiting here have a daughter named Franziska?
Franziska: But I love Watzdorf! Brühl, I know you're into Mosczynska, can't you let me be with my true love?
Brühl: Not if I want to continue my career, darling. Not giving up Moscynska, though. I'm afraid our engagement is on.
Watzdorf: *is busy writing more pamphlets against Sukowski and Brühl*
Sukowski: I'm punishing the printer.
Brühl: Pff. I'm buying the printer and bribing him by making him the official court printer. What's that you say, minion, my fiancee and Watzdorf? Well well well. Do tell Sukowski's minion in strict confidence Watzdorf is about to launch an exposé on Sukowski's Silesia plans!
Sukowski: *arrests Watzdorf, puts him into Königstein*
Franziska: Fine, I'll marry you, if you promise to help me to set my beloved free and avenge myself on that bastard Sukowski.
Brühl: Naturally.
Episode 4: Brühl (II):
Sukowski: So, about Silesia. I think that's absolutely brilliant plan of mine, and history will prove me right, you'll see.
Brühl: Maybe we should try to get it politically instead? Seeing as our army isn't anywhere near as large as the Austrian one?
Sukowski: You're not a military man, Brühl, you don't understand. Here are my secret plans to explain it, though, while I'm off to fight for the Habsburg Emperor against the Turks. We're still subjects to the Emperor, after all, so I can't deny the request.
Brühl: *makes copy of the secret plans, and gives them to the Austrian envoy*
Vienna: WTF?
Maria Josepha, Guarini, Brühl, all in their respective ways to August III: Sukowski got you in a hell of a lot of trouble with the Emperor with these Silesia plans. He needs to go.
August III: I'm just into art and building palaces, can't we all be nice together?
Everyone else: No!
Meanwhile, on the front:
Sukowski: Hello there. You seem a trustworthy veteran. Let's be friends.
Rosen: By all means. You should be careful.
Sukowski: Eh, the King loves me. I'll always stay on top!
Rosen: I've heard that before. Countess Cosel is still at Stolpen.
Sukowski: I'll make August release her when I get back, he's completely unlike his Dad.
Sukowski: *gets a letter that he's dismissed as PM*
Sukowski: WTF? *rides home, manages to see August III despite Brühl's precautions*
August III: I just want peace and love, can't it stay as it was?
Everyone else: NO.
Franziska: So, husband, if I seduce August III who unlike his father has been a loyal husband so far and make him banish Sukowski, will you then see to it that my beloved Watzdorf is released from Königstein?
Brühl: Naturally.
Brühl: *tells minion that he wants Watzdorf to be freed, but phrases it in a way that makes it very clear what really should happen*
Minion: *tells sub minion to do go to Königstein*
Subminion: I don't think this will end well for me, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
Other civil servant minion: Sukowski, the only thing that can save you now is if we get the dirt on Brühl. Maybe that Watzdorf who used to write the pamphlets knows me? I'm off to Königstein to find out.
Watzdorf: *is thrown of the walls of Königstein as a free dead body*
Brühl: Sukowski did that.
Franziska: I'm not THAT naive. Also I'm going to have sex with every handsome young guy who comes my way from this point onwards in revenge on you, but not with you, you bastard.
(
Brühl: That's okay, dearest, Moscynska and I are still an item, anyway.
August III: Brühl, you're now my only minister and bff and everything.
Brühl: Yay!
Episode 5: From the time of the 7 Years War (I):
Brühl: So, I've been thinking. Silesia got unfortunately nabbed by Fritz of Prussia, but Saxony can still end up as a superpower by diplomacy, since he's been pissing off everyone else in the last decade. I' have this brilliant plan of creating an alliance between France and Austria, with Russia and Sweden joining in. And Saxony right in the middle.
Moscynska: Wow. How come you're letting this Kaunitz guy all the credit?
Brühl: I'm modest like that.
*change of location to.... Sanssouci*
Fritz (now played by an actor who got famous for this part, Arno Wyzniewski): Fredersdorf (first word of dialogue he has), let's talk exposition and establish that I'm the toughest, meanest, magnificent bastard of the era. Brühl is officially outclassed.
Fredersdorf (played by actor somewhat smaller than Wyzniweski, Joachim Tomaschewsky): No question about it, but since I'm not just your treasurer but also your spy master, I'd still like to know what he's up to.
Italian greyhounds: *are always around Fritz; this is a plot point*
Max de Simoni: I'm one of the two new OCs, a handsome young Swiss adventurer who wants to serve Fritz.
Fredersdorf: You can do that in Dresden as our spy. Countess Brühl is still into young guys lilke you. Seduce her and find out what Brühl is up to.
Simoni: You want me to have sex for Prussia?
Fredersdorf: Absolutely.
Simoni: I never thought serving the Hohenzollern could be such fun.
Simoni: *has sex with Franziska who gets him a job as one of Brühl's undersecretaries*
Pepita von Nostiz: I'm the new naive, in love with a Prussian soldier, who leaves his regiment for a night of love with me. Dresden is just three hours away on horseback, after all.
Prussian soldier: *gets shouted at by his superior officer, draws his sword, realises that he's done, is arrested*
Fritz: Anyone who draws on his superior officer needs to get executed for the sake of discipline in my army.
Fredersdorf: ...But he's a promising young guy otherwise, so maybe some mercy?
Fritz: No. Discipline! Also I don't like deserters.
Pepita: I hate the King of Prussia and swear revenge forever and ever.
Xaver Maslowski: I'm the other new OC, in love with Pepita, tormented by the fact Simoni, who, lilke me, is an undersecretary at Brühl's, flirts with her as well and no one can resist him.
Simoni: *actually gets his hands on the secret documents proving the alliance against Prussia* RED ALERT RED ALERT.
Fritz: ....okay, I'll admit to being just a bit surprised. Clearly, action is called for. Fredersdorf, time to invade again, I've been getting rusty! We're off to Saxony.
Minion: Um. The Prussian army is currently invading our country.
Brühl: Your majesty, while that is a admittedly a bit worrying, it's only a temporary set back. No way Fritz can win against the armies of our allies.
Allies: armies we're going to send next year.
Saxon commander: No way our army can hold off the Prussians until then.
Brühl: ... I think you and I should retreat to Königstein, your majesty.
Episode 6: From the time of the 7 Years War (II):
Fritz: *still in Sanssouci* Fredersdorf, I still need intel on Brühl. Even from Königstein.
Fredersdorf: Will see to it, but why are we still in Sanssouci when it's now autumn of 1756 and we've taken most of Saxony except Pirna and Königstein?
Fritz: Because the producers got permission to film here, and by God, they're going to film here. So every time I'm not explicitly in a battle, I hop back to Sanssouci. It's just a few hours!
Pepita, Maria Josepha, Franziska and Guarini: *conspire in the Dresden palace where the Queen still lives, even under Prussian occupation*
Pepita: I had this brilliant idea of how we can save Saxony from Fritz. We kidnap him, then use him as leverage.
Maria Josepha: Sounds like a plan to me. Countess Brühl, write to your husband to tell him that.
Franziska: Will do, and Pepita, send me your hot Swiss admirer whom I'm still banging as well, we'll use him as a courier.
Simoni: rides to Sanssouci (seriously, the number of times they find an excuse to show that palace is amazing), reports to Fritz about a secret plan, but doesn't actually now WHICH scheme because Franziska hasn't told him what's in the letter and the letter was written in chiffre*
Fritz: You seem competent, and I like your looks. Are you by any chance musical?
Simoni: I play the cembalo.
Fritz and Simoni: *play a flute/cembalo duet*
Simoni: shows up in Königstein
Brühl in Königstein: *is slowly getting stir crazy and suspects a mole, but suspects poor innocent Waslawski, not Simoni, who is just that irresistible to everyone
Guarini in Dresden: As an evil priest, I'm not putting my trust into this kidnapping scheme. We need a fallback scheme. Here's a potion in a black bottle. To be used if the kidnapping doesn't work out. Got that, Glasow?
Glasow: *is a middle aged overweight man* And I get absolution?
Guarini: That's what evil priests spreading the opiate of the masses are for.
Maslawski (not knowing any of this): Pepita, to prove my love for you, I'll be the one to kidnap Fritz, personally.
Maslawski: *spies on Fritz to get a sense of his schedule, thus seeing Simoni depart from the Prussians*
Maslawski: tells this to Pepita
Simoni: *back in Dresden to figure out what the secret plan is*
Simoni: Hi, Franziska. Let's have sex, I've missed you.
Franziska. So I hear you've been hanging out with the Prussians? That's what little Pepita claims anyway.
Simoni: Slander! Okay...I sort of spent some time in Berlin, but I'm Swiss, you know, which means neutral, and can I help it Fritz wanted to play a duet with me?
Franziska: I empathize. You've got a hot bod, you're smart, and they say he doesn't like women.
Simoni: Countess! *wink, nudge* You're the hottest, though.
Pepita's grandmother: *Is a Fritz fan, has heard Pepita's plotting and sends an anonymous (as not to incriminate her granddaughter) warning letter to Fritz that he's about to be kidnapped*
Fritz: *dictates instructions - in Sanssouci - that if he's shot, the invasion should proceed anyway, and if he's kidnapped, any instructions from him thereafter are to be ignored, then heads off to Bohemia, because*
Austrians: have managed to get an army together to fight Fritz at Lobowitz
Fritz: *wins*
Brühl and August: That's it, alas. We're off to Warsaw.
Glasow: *puts Guarini's poison in Fritz' chocolate cup* (at Sanssouci, Fritz came back immediately after the battle)
Fritz: *sits reading with an Italian greyhound in his lap, tells Glasow to put the chololate next to him*
Glasow: *does so, leaves*
Fritz: *smiles lovingly at dog, lets it drink the chocolate*
Italian Greyhound not named out loud*: *dies*
Fritz: REVENGE!
Glasow: *is tortured, incriminates all the conspirators, not just Guarini, including Simoni (because he's seen him with Franziska a lot)
Fritz: Simoni what? Okay, he is to be hanged, just like Glasow.
Glasow: *is hanged*
Prussian soldiers: Search chez Franziska Brühl for Simoni (and telling her she'd to leave for Warsaw to join her husband and the King there)
Simoni: *escapes through secret door*
Simoni: *is shot when trying to make a run for it anyway, dies*
Pepita: Maslawski, now I can tell you I love only you.
Maslawski: Ditto.
Epilogue scenes in quick montage: *Fritz wins at Prague, loses at Kolin, but doesn't have a melt down because he's too manly and tough for that but says he'll win again in the next one, wins Roßbach and Leuthen after dramatic speech, cut to end of 7 Year War which the narrator tells was was a few years later*
Narrator: 1763 was also the year August III. died. And Brühl. But we're still living in the echoes of Saxony's splendour and Prussia's glory.