This was not just an but the most famous, most expensive GDR tv production, and somehow I didn't watch it until this last week. The title is somewhat misleading, since it's All Saxony, (Nearly) All The Time, and Prussia only has two cameos (in episode 2) in the first four episodes, not becoming equally important in terms of location and character until the last two episodes (which are set early in the Seven Years War). The miniseries is loosely based on a a series of novels by a nineteenth century Polish author collectively referred as "the Saxon series". If he already took liberties with history, the show then added some. Something else to keep in mind: it was created in the 1980s. The first few decades, East Germany found dealing with its Hohenzollern past a bit tricky. On the one hand, imperial feudalism and militarism = BAD, obviously. On the other hand, by the 1980s, they GDR was in dire need of money, tourists were an income, and national pride was a thing again. And given the content of this miniseries, I also suspect someone in the production team said: "You know how they're all glued to the tv screen in the west, watching these decadent American shows where people have sex and scheme all the time? We can do that, too, with more nudity than the Yanks and way better fashion, and still justify it as national heritage!"
Keep this in mind as I give you the summary of the six episodes:
Episode 1: Countess Cosel (Part I):
August(us) the Strong: the series starts in the late 1690s when I'm crowned as King of Poland for the first time, but I get played by Dietrich Körner throughout, and he looks like he's somewhere in his late 50s or early 60s. I just abandoned the proud Protestant Saxon heritage of House Wettin in order to get my hands on Poland, since they accept only Catholic sovereigns. By this, you can see I have large scale ambitions. I also really like to party!
Charles of Sweden: I'm the wannabe Alexander of the Baroque, just on the throne and determined to invade and make war! Saxony is just a piece of cake for me. Watch me kick Russian ass next once I'm done here!
Swedes: rape and pillage, which is shown in a few discreet shots, also plunder a castle without raping, which is good for:
Anna Constantia von Hoym: I'm the leading lady of the first two parts, and I will not forget this, Swedish bastards.
Flemming: I'm August's scheming advisor and most important minister, and I have to tell him that our army just isn't up to battlling Charles. We have to sue for peace as long as we still have Saxony and give up on Poland for now.
August: This is humiliating, but fine, I'll do it. But I'll be back!
August: *parties in Dresden to cheer himself up, dares everyone to describe their fave mistresses*
Treasury Chancellor Hoym: I don't have one, because my wife is the most beautiful woman of the country. Way more beautiful than your current maitresse en titre. She's the most beautiful woman of the world!
selenak: You clearly haven't read Livy. Also, didn't Anna meet August when the Hoym town residence burned and she organized the fire fighting? Wasn't that dramatic enough for you, Polish novelist and German scriptwriters?
August: She's invited to my next ball.
Olav von Rosen: I'm an OC who is in all the episodes. Currently I am a young man bravely escorting Anna from the recently plundered castle to Dresden despite some more marauding Swedes with evil intentions. Charles still uses us as his backyard, you know.
Anna (to Hoym): I can't believe you. Where do you think this is going?
Hoym: Look, he's my boss.
August: You're hot. I'm still King.
Anna: Prince Elector right now, and also, if you want to play Henry VIII, I'm playing Anne Boleyn. I have no intention of becoming your next mistress. If you like it, put a ring on it.
Flemming: What's that? You're jut supposed to be the next piece of fluff! Your majesty, no way!
August: Relax, I have it all under control. Look, Anna, I'm already married, and so are you. And since I'm now Catholic, divorce is just not on.
Anna: But you want me all for yourself, don't you?
August: I really really do.
Anna: I'll divorce Hoym if you give me a marriage promise in writing in which you swear that you'll marry me if you ever become a widower.
Flemming: Don't do it!
August: I never wanted a woman more. Here's your marriage pledge in writing, Anna. Only the best for you! Once you're divorced, you need a new title. How about Countess Cosel?
Anna: Thank you. Since you are now my fiancee and basically my husband, I take a wifely interest in the government of this country. Starting with the fact we're still sort of occupied by the goddam Swedes.
August: Not forever, I promises. Did I mention I have long term plans? Poland back, of course, but more than that. The current Emperor has no sons, see.
Anna: But he has a brother who'll succeed him.
August: The brother doesn't have any sons yet, either. I love gambling, and I'm banking on the fact the Habsburs will die out. My oldest kid is going to marry the current Emperor's daughter, older cousin to not yet born MT. You see where this is going, Darling?
Anna: I love a man with a plan. So, about those Swedes....
Charles: I'm off to another round with Peter the not yet Great, but I want to do some sightseeing first and visit Dresden incognito.
Anna: August, Charles is in Dresden incognito. We could totally capture him and end your humiliation.
August: This would go against the royal bro code. Sorry, no can do.
Anna: Rosen, organize the capture of Charles anyway behind August's back, it's for his own good.
Flemming: Aha, the slut is making a mistake! Your Majesty, guess what I just found out?
August: Meets up with Charles as per the royal bro code.
Rosesn: Can't capture Charles if my King is also around, sorry.
Charles: So, August, before I leave, I keep hearing about how strong you are, want to demonstrate?
August: *bends a bar of iron around Charles in the form of a horse's shoe, then throws it away, in a none too subtle demonstration of how he could have captured Charles if not for the royal bro code*
Charles: First time I am impressed by you. So long! Off to earn more glory against Peter.
Anna (to August): I don't believe you. We could have...argh! What kind of a King are you?
August: Since you insulted my manliness, I'm off to Malapart, the most famous pre-Fritz battle of the century, where I'll meet young FW, Grumbkow and Seckendorff off screen and have a lot of sex with other women!
Peter the about to become Great: *wins against Charles*
Charles: *retreats in depression and infamy, will not get old*
Flemming: At last, things are looking better. Now we can get Poland back, and I can surely get rid of Cosel. He's having lots of sex with other women already, time to get him an alternate mistress.
Anna: I'll leave it at one jealous scene and then reconsider since I actually missed you, offering you a compromise: other one night stands, fine, but I'm your true Queen.
August: Of course you are.
A few more happy years during which Anna is the uncrowned Queen and produces some children: *ensue*
Flemming: Grrr. Argh. But now that Lescynski guy has finally left. Poland beckons, your majesty!
Anna: Farewell, dearest. I have a bad feeling about this....
Episode 2: Countess Cosel (Part II):
August: Hi, Polish ladies. Missed me?
Flemming: At last, I've found one who captures his attention for longer than a night. Also, I'm censoring the Royal Mail so he doesn't get any of Cosel's love letters, only the ones where she's irritated by his not replying and sharp tongued!
August: You're hot.
Rival: I want to be a mistress, not a one night stand.
August: ...okay. Anna maybe could do with some competition.
Flemming: *fakes a murder attempt on the new mistress, makes it look like Anna ordered it*
Rival: I'm not going back with you to Saxony if I have to fear for my life. Banish that evil woman!
August: Um. Well. Flemming, send someone to tell Anna tactfully she should leave Dresden and go to Pillnitz for a while. After some time, when tempers have cooled down...
Flemming: *sends messenger who tells Anna that she's banished to Pillnitz, but has to leave her children behind*
Anna: No way! Rosen, let's try to meet August on the road.
Flemming: Your majesty, Countess Cosel has disobeyed a direct order.
August: Make her go to Pillnitz, I don't care how!
Anna: *is escorted forcibly to Pillnitz*
Rosen: Countess, sorry, but I think Flemming knows if you ever manage to see the King, he's screwed. He'll kill you. We should escape. I'll organize it.
Anna: Thanks, loyal knight.
Escape: *happens, but with interruptions; Anna and the kids are already on the escape boat when she sees there are fireworks in Dresden (literal ones) and decides she needs to try one last time*
August: *sees Anna wearing a masque, approaches her* You're hot. How come I haven't seen you before?
Anna: Because you're a complete cad, you bastard. I've had it now with you. Bye!
Escape: *continues, now with added obstacle of furious August sending soldiers after them, but loyal Rosen manages to smuggle them out of Dresden anyway*
Anna, Rosen and the kids: *arrive in Berlin*
Flemming: Your Majesty, we have a problem. Your youngest kid by Cosel is a boy. You're a widower now. As long as she has that marriage promise in writing, she could make a case that she is in fact your wife, and thus he another legitimate son. Your oldest son will never become King of Poland, let along Emperor, if that question mark hangs over him. Do it for the Imperial future, your majesty! We need to get that marriage pledge, and the Countess Cosel to go with it. It's way too dangerous to let her hang out in neighbouring Prussia.
August: ....I see your point and am tearing out the last of my love of my heart. We need to get FW to return Anna to us. How? Let's call my secretary.
Young Page Brühl: I am now entering the narrative played as a late teen by future director Leander Hausmann. The actor who'll play me from the next episode onwards is Leander's dad.
Young Brühl: August's secretary, have some more wine, it's not like the King is going to need you in the next five minutes.
Secretary: *passes out drunk*
Brühl: Sorry, your majesty, your secretary is passed out, but maybe I can help?
August: Not unless you can write a letter making FW return Anna to me.
Brühl: Not a problem. *writes* Dear FW, if you send my ex back I'm returning some tell deserters to you. Love, August. P.S. Also you don't want people to think your're harboring sluts in Berlin, do you?
August and Flemming: *are impressed*
August: That's one promising young man.
FW: Tall deserters, you say? *heart eyes* Arrest the slut and deliver her to August!
Anna: *arrives in Stolpen as a prisoner*
Soldier in the Stolpen garnison: *falls in love with Anna*
Rosen: This has potential. Don't give up, Countess!
Anna: I never do.
Flemming: *gets his hands on the marriage pledge by blackmailing the Jewish banker Rosen has left it withÜ
FW: *has his second scene of the episode, at an event which is a mix of his and Fritz' trip to Dresden and the Zeithain camp*
Orzelska (silent role): *dances suggestively like Salome*
selenak: Why is she blonde? All the Orzelska's I've seen so far were brunettes.
Fritz (played by very much not a teenager actor): *looks*
Fritz: Leutnant Keith, we must escape!
Leutnant Keith: I am apparently a mix of Keith the page, Peter Keith and Katte, and say this escape thing might be difficult:
Fritz: Gonna do it, though.
FW: *Catches him, drags him in front of everyone and abuses him*
Flemming (to August): Okay, the Prussian King has calmed down now and is ready to leave. But I have a bad feeling that the kid is never going to get over the fact this happened in front of lots of Saxons.
*exit Prussians from the tale for the next few episodes*
Anna: *changes clothes with the young soldier in love with her, escapes the castle, is met by loyal Rosen outside*
Young Soldier: *leaves the castle because can't bear to be without Anna, which naturally alerts the guards to the fact they just saw him leave the castle TWICE*
Anna: *after some action scene horseriding, is recaptured*
Anna: This is just not the episode for succeful escapes.
*Some time later*
August: I want to try out those new canons FW sold me. The Stolpen area has some tough rocks to shoot at.
Anna: He's totally using that as an excuse to visit me, I just know it.
August: shoots at rocks, leaves without visiting.
Anna:... I guess that's it for me. You shall not see me on screen again, audience, though I live for many decades more.
Sachsens Glanz und Preußens Gloria: A Miniseries in six parts (A)
Keep this in mind as I give you the summary of the six episodes:
Episode 1: Countess Cosel (Part I):
August(us) the Strong: the series starts in the late 1690s when I'm crowned as King of Poland for the first time, but I get played by Dietrich Körner throughout, and he looks like he's somewhere in his late 50s or early 60s. I just abandoned the proud Protestant Saxon heritage of House Wettin in order to get my hands on Poland, since they accept only Catholic sovereigns. By this, you can see I have large scale ambitions. I also really like to party!
Charles of Sweden: I'm the wannabe Alexander of the Baroque, just on the throne and determined to invade and make war! Saxony is just a piece of cake for me. Watch me kick Russian ass next once I'm done here!
Swedes: rape and pillage, which is shown in a few discreet shots, also plunder a castle without raping, which is good for:
Anna Constantia von Hoym: I'm the leading lady of the first two parts, and I will not forget this, Swedish bastards.
Flemming: I'm August's scheming advisor and most important minister, and I have to tell him that our army just isn't up to battlling Charles. We have to sue for peace as long as we still have Saxony and give up on Poland for now.
August: This is humiliating, but fine, I'll do it. But I'll be back!
August: *parties in Dresden to cheer himself up, dares everyone to describe their fave mistresses*
Treasury Chancellor Hoym: I don't have one, because my wife is the most beautiful woman of the country. Way more beautiful than your current maitresse en titre. She's the most beautiful woman of the world!
August: She's invited to my next ball.
Olav von Rosen: I'm an OC who is in all the episodes. Currently I am a young man bravely escorting Anna from the recently plundered castle to Dresden despite some more marauding Swedes with evil intentions. Charles still uses us as his backyard, you know.
Anna (to Hoym): I can't believe you. Where do you think this is going?
Hoym: Look, he's my boss.
August: You're hot. I'm still King.
Anna: Prince Elector right now, and also, if you want to play Henry VIII, I'm playing Anne Boleyn. I have no intention of becoming your next mistress. If you like it, put a ring on it.
Flemming: What's that? You're jut supposed to be the next piece of fluff! Your majesty, no way!
August: Relax, I have it all under control. Look, Anna, I'm already married, and so are you. And since I'm now Catholic, divorce is just not on.
Anna: But you want me all for yourself, don't you?
August: I really really do.
Anna: I'll divorce Hoym if you give me a marriage promise in writing in which you swear that you'll marry me if you ever become a widower.
Flemming: Don't do it!
August: I never wanted a woman more. Here's your marriage pledge in writing, Anna. Only the best for you! Once you're divorced, you need a new title. How about Countess Cosel?
Anna: Thank you. Since you are now my fiancee and basically my husband, I take a wifely interest in the government of this country. Starting with the fact we're still sort of occupied by the goddam Swedes.
August: Not forever, I promises. Did I mention I have long term plans? Poland back, of course, but more than that. The current Emperor has no sons, see.
Anna: But he has a brother who'll succeed him.
August: The brother doesn't have any sons yet, either. I love gambling, and I'm banking on the fact the Habsburs will die out. My oldest kid is going to marry the current Emperor's daughter, older cousin to not yet born MT. You see where this is going, Darling?
Anna: I love a man with a plan. So, about those Swedes....
Charles: I'm off to another round with Peter the not yet Great, but I want to do some sightseeing first and visit Dresden incognito.
Anna: August, Charles is in Dresden incognito. We could totally capture him and end your humiliation.
August: This would go against the royal bro code. Sorry, no can do.
Anna: Rosen, organize the capture of Charles anyway behind August's back, it's for his own good.
Flemming: Aha, the slut is making a mistake! Your Majesty, guess what I just found out?
August: Meets up with Charles as per the royal bro code.
Rosesn: Can't capture Charles if my King is also around, sorry.
Charles: So, August, before I leave, I keep hearing about how strong you are, want to demonstrate?
August: *bends a bar of iron around Charles in the form of a horse's shoe, then throws it away, in a none too subtle demonstration of how he could have captured Charles if not for the royal bro code*
Charles: First time I am impressed by you. So long! Off to earn more glory against Peter.
Anna (to August): I don't believe you. We could have...argh! What kind of a King are you?
August: Since you insulted my manliness, I'm off to Malapart, the most famous pre-Fritz battle of the century, where I'll meet young FW, Grumbkow and Seckendorff off screen and have a lot of sex with other women!
Peter the about to become Great: *wins against Charles*
Charles: *retreats in depression and infamy, will not get old*
Flemming: At last, things are looking better. Now we can get Poland back, and I can surely get rid of Cosel. He's having lots of sex with other women already, time to get him an alternate mistress.
Anna: I'll leave it at one jealous scene and then reconsider since I actually missed you, offering you a compromise: other one night stands, fine, but I'm your true Queen.
August: Of course you are.
A few more happy years during which Anna is the uncrowned Queen and produces some children: *ensue*
Flemming: Grrr. Argh. But now that Lescynski guy has finally left. Poland beckons, your majesty!
Anna: Farewell, dearest. I have a bad feeling about this....
Episode 2: Countess Cosel (Part II):
August: Hi, Polish ladies. Missed me?
Flemming: At last, I've found one who captures his attention for longer than a night. Also, I'm censoring the Royal Mail so he doesn't get any of Cosel's love letters, only the ones where she's irritated by his not replying and sharp tongued!
August: You're hot.
Rival: I want to be a mistress, not a one night stand.
August: ...okay. Anna maybe could do with some competition.
Flemming: *fakes a murder attempt on the new mistress, makes it look like Anna ordered it*
Rival: I'm not going back with you to Saxony if I have to fear for my life. Banish that evil woman!
August: Um. Well. Flemming, send someone to tell Anna tactfully she should leave Dresden and go to Pillnitz for a while. After some time, when tempers have cooled down...
Flemming: *sends messenger who tells Anna that she's banished to Pillnitz, but has to leave her children behind*
Anna: No way! Rosen, let's try to meet August on the road.
Flemming: Your majesty, Countess Cosel has disobeyed a direct order.
August: Make her go to Pillnitz, I don't care how!
Anna: *is escorted forcibly to Pillnitz*
Rosen: Countess, sorry, but I think Flemming knows if you ever manage to see the King, he's screwed. He'll kill you. We should escape. I'll organize it.
Anna: Thanks, loyal knight.
Escape: *happens, but with interruptions; Anna and the kids are already on the escape boat when she sees there are fireworks in Dresden (literal ones) and decides she needs to try one last time*
August: *sees Anna wearing a masque, approaches her* You're hot. How come I haven't seen you before?
Anna: Because you're a complete cad, you bastard. I've had it now with you. Bye!
Escape: *continues, now with added obstacle of furious August sending soldiers after them, but loyal Rosen manages to smuggle them out of Dresden anyway*
Anna, Rosen and the kids: *arrive in Berlin*
Flemming: Your Majesty, we have a problem. Your youngest kid by Cosel is a boy. You're a widower now. As long as she has that marriage promise in writing, she could make a case that she is in fact your wife, and thus he another legitimate son. Your oldest son will never become King of Poland, let along Emperor, if that question mark hangs over him. Do it for the Imperial future, your majesty! We need to get that marriage pledge, and the Countess Cosel to go with it. It's way too dangerous to let her hang out in neighbouring Prussia.
August: ....I see your point and am tearing out the last of my love of my heart. We need to get FW to return Anna to us. How? Let's call my secretary.
Young Page Brühl: I am now entering the narrative played as a late teen by future director Leander Hausmann. The actor who'll play me from the next episode onwards is Leander's dad.
Young Brühl: August's secretary, have some more wine, it's not like the King is going to need you in the next five minutes.
Secretary: *passes out drunk*
Brühl: Sorry, your majesty, your secretary is passed out, but maybe I can help?
August: Not unless you can write a letter making FW return Anna to me.
Brühl: Not a problem. *writes* Dear FW, if you send my ex back I'm returning some tell deserters to you. Love, August. P.S. Also you don't want people to think your're harboring sluts in Berlin, do you?
August and Flemming: *are impressed*
August: That's one promising young man.
FW: Tall deserters, you say? *heart eyes* Arrest the slut and deliver her to August!
Anna: *arrives in Stolpen as a prisoner*
Soldier in the Stolpen garnison: *falls in love with Anna*
Rosen: This has potential. Don't give up, Countess!
Anna: I never do.
Flemming: *gets his hands on the marriage pledge by blackmailing the Jewish banker Rosen has left it withÜ
FW: *has his second scene of the episode, at an event which is a mix of his and Fritz' trip to Dresden and the Zeithain camp*
Orzelska (silent role): *dances suggestively like Salome*
Fritz (played by very much not a teenager actor): *looks*
Fritz: Leutnant Keith, we must escape!
Leutnant Keith: I am apparently a mix of Keith the page, Peter Keith and Katte, and say this escape thing might be difficult:
Fritz: Gonna do it, though.
FW: *Catches him, drags him in front of everyone and abuses him*
Flemming (to August): Okay, the Prussian King has calmed down now and is ready to leave. But I have a bad feeling that the kid is never going to get over the fact this happened in front of lots of Saxons.
*exit Prussians from the tale for the next few episodes*
Anna: *changes clothes with the young soldier in love with her, escapes the castle, is met by loyal Rosen outside*
Young Soldier: *leaves the castle because can't bear to be without Anna, which naturally alerts the guards to the fact they just saw him leave the castle TWICE*
Anna: *after some action scene horseriding, is recaptured*
Anna: This is just not the episode for succeful escapes.
*Some time later*
August: I want to try out those new canons FW sold me. The Stolpen area has some tough rocks to shoot at.
Anna: He's totally using that as an excuse to visit me, I just know it.
August: shoots at rocks, leaves without visiting.
Anna:... I guess that's it for me. You shall not see me on screen again, audience, though I live for many decades more.