1.) mildred_of_midgard: I have never been convinced Heinrich was into being dominated.
I like your alternate suggestion from several posts ago that he might have enjoyed being made to work like no one's business for domination but in the end succeeding. Anyway, the domination theory, I suspect, happens because biographers throw their hands up along with Lehndorff when looking at most of Heinrich's guys and wonder out loud "but what does he see in them?"
2.) mildred_of_midgard: Hypothesis: Heinrich consistently started relationships with guys in their early 20s, whether he was 19 or 60. Counterevidence, selenak? I don't know all his boyfriends' birthdates, nor do I know when all the relationships started.
No, it fits. Doesn't mean he trades them in once they're closer to 30 - the relationship with Kaphengst lasted at the very least 15 years, possibly longer depending on where we assume the end point (not that easy to say because as opposed to Kalckreuth, Kaphengst doesn't get cut off but fades into the periphery of Heinrich's circle after those 15 years, but you're right, the beginning of the relationship, no matter whether Heinrich is young or old himself, is when they're in their early 20s.
It's also worth pointing out that post-Marwitz, he seems to have made a point of not being monogamous. Because there's always overlap. When Lehndorff goes from friend to friend with benefits, the official favourite is actually Reisewitz, and Reisewitz hangs on until the 7 Years War in terms of being in Heinrich's circle, through the entire Lamberg as favourite and into the Kalckreuth as favourite era. And of course Kalckreuth and Kaphengst overlap post war until the big drama. While Kaphengst clearly is the favourite Heinrich went to the greatest financial lengths for, he wasn't exclusive, as evidenced by the fact Mara happened during the Kaphengst era as well. Now of course we don't know that he had sex with all of them, let alone at the same time. Maybe he really wanted nothing more from Mara than music. But emotionally, these were certainly romances, and unlike Fritz, Heinrich was never suspected of living celibate.
Going back to my observation that Heinrich as opposed to Fritz wasn't interested in an erastes figure when young, of course we have not nearly as much data about him as we have of young Fritz. Maybe he did have someone like that in his life and we just don't know because no envoy was interested in the thirteenth child and Heinrich didn't keep many letters. For example: Ziebura in two of her biographies includes the assurance that the princes (all three younger princes) liked their gay steward (the one AW wrote that raunchy letter to from Spandau) and that there's no indication he was in any way inappropriate to them. (That is, inappropriate by our standards - FW presumably would have freaked out if he'd known that the guy who was supposed to keep his sons from "silent sins" and evil talk instead raised them in a way that made them feel comfortable with sex jokes and see nothing wrong with the gay variation of same.) However, if teenage Heinrich did feel the need for a gay mentor or for an older man to crush on, this guy would have been an obvious choice.
But that's all speculation. And with the qualification of "going by all the relationships we do know about" Heinrich had a sexual type, and that type was young, handsome, in his early 20s, energetic, charming and none too reliable.
Not his type?
1.)
I like your alternate suggestion from several posts ago that he might have enjoyed being made to work like no one's business for domination but in the end succeeding. Anyway, the domination theory, I suspect, happens because biographers throw their hands up along with Lehndorff when looking at most of Heinrich's guys and wonder out loud "but what does he see in them?"
2.)
No, it fits. Doesn't mean he trades them in once they're closer to 30 - the relationship with Kaphengst lasted at the very least 15 years, possibly longer depending on where we assume the end point (not that easy to say because as opposed to Kalckreuth, Kaphengst doesn't get cut off but fades into the periphery of Heinrich's circle after those 15 years, but you're right, the beginning of the relationship, no matter whether Heinrich is young or old himself, is when they're in their early 20s.
It's also worth pointing out that post-Marwitz, he seems to have made a point of not being monogamous. Because there's always overlap. When Lehndorff goes from friend to friend with benefits, the official favourite is actually Reisewitz, and Reisewitz hangs on until the 7 Years War in terms of being in Heinrich's circle, through the entire Lamberg as favourite and into the Kalckreuth as favourite era. And of course Kalckreuth and Kaphengst overlap post war until the big drama. While Kaphengst clearly is the favourite Heinrich went to the greatest financial lengths for, he wasn't exclusive, as evidenced by the fact Mara happened during the Kaphengst era as well. Now of course we don't know that he had sex with all of them, let alone at the same time. Maybe he really wanted nothing more from Mara than music. But emotionally, these were certainly romances, and unlike Fritz, Heinrich was never suspected of living celibate.
Going back to my observation that Heinrich as opposed to Fritz wasn't interested in an erastes figure when young, of course we have not nearly as much data about him as we have of young Fritz. Maybe he did have someone like that in his life and we just don't know because no envoy was interested in the thirteenth child and Heinrich didn't keep many letters. For example: Ziebura in two of her biographies includes the assurance that the princes (all three younger princes) liked their gay steward (the one AW wrote that raunchy letter to from Spandau) and that there's no indication he was in any way inappropriate to them. (That is, inappropriate by our standards - FW presumably would have freaked out if he'd known that the guy who was supposed to keep his sons from "silent sins" and evil talk instead raised them in a way that made them feel comfortable with sex jokes and see nothing wrong with the gay variation of same.) However, if teenage Heinrich did feel the need for a gay mentor or for an older man to crush on, this guy would have been an obvious choice.
But that's all speculation. And with the qualification of "going by all the relationships we do know about" Heinrich had a sexual type, and that type was young, handsome, in his early 20s, energetic, charming and none too reliable.