cahn: (Default)
cahn ([personal profile] cahn) wrote2020-05-03 09:12 am
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Frederick the Great discussion post 15

...I have nothing clever to say here, just really pleased this is still going :)
[community profile] rheinsberg
mildred_of_midgard: (Default)

Re: Heinrich readthrough!

[personal profile] mildred_of_midgard 2020-05-18 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
but then, party throwing was what the divine trio did when not doing drills at Spandau

This is why "invited" and "invitation" were the first words I learned!

AW: Mom says she's okay with my whiny wife coming along and doesn't care one way or the other about yours.

Lol, AW. Also, I'm reminded of Heinrich writing to his brother Ferd about how his wife bores him, and I'm like...only because you're married! EC would have bored Fritz regardless, but Heinrich is clearly in "you are a PTSD trigger and walking incarnation of my brother's power to mess up my life!" mode toward Mina.

And I think that, if they didn't already know it, made it clear to everyone that you do not expect Mom to have your back or provide emotional support if it's a matter between you and Fritz.

Ooof, yeah. That's an excellent point. They so avoid doing it that it hadn't even occurred to me as an option. Why would you ask SD for help? That's what AW is for!

This is not uncommon in abusive families, for one kid to have to take over a certain parenting role, or to become the peacekeeper.

I think it's telling that the younger siblings regarded even getting any kind of attention from Mom as mothering, but didn't really expect her to fight for them or even just to help.

Agreed. Ouch.

Sonsine and writing thereapeutic revenge operas and trashy memoirs.

Indeed, but Sonsine is so critical precisely because she comes along during those formative years. Interventions in childhood vastly outstrip therapy in adulthood in terms of the power to help.

But good Lord, given her youth, it's a wonder she was as sane as she managed to be. And capable of love.

Agreed. Like Fritz, she came out battered but with a core intact. Which I find very impressive. It's why "but children are resilient!" as a response to childhood trauma is both true and false. Children adapt and survive and come out semi-functional, but they adapt *around* the space the trauma occupies in their psyche. They may look as functional as Wilhelmine to the outside observer, but be falling apart physically (agree with you that chronic stress is no good for physical health) and have some messed up emotional reflexes, like the neediness around Fritz. (Not gonna get on her case about that; that's the least unhealthy thing a Hohenzollern ever did. It strikes me as a reasonable coping mechanism, given the circumstances.)