In which we get the answer to the question as to whether Lehndorff has the same taste in men as Catherine the Great!
Because 1781 and 1782 are Lehndorff's years of travelling. As you do, when you're retired. Since he's an East Prussian, there's one obvious destination he hasn't visited yet, except in passing through it. Yep, Lehndorff heads off to Poland. Currently ruled by none other but that enterprising gentleman whose memoirs I'm currently reading, the King formerly known as Poniatowski. It's the lovely month of May, Lehndorff likes Warsaw just fine, though he thinks the palace is a bit too overbudget for the Poles. He successfully angles for an invitation at court.
On the 9th at 10 am, I get presented to the King of Poland. He asks me to join him in his study and greets me with charming amiablity. He is still a beautiful man. He rises from his desk and tells me several pleasantries, while recalling that he has met me thirty years ago in Berlin. The conversation extends for quite a while. Finally, he tells me that he wants to show me his country seat himself. I must admit: even leaving his royal dignity aside, he is the most charming and witty man his kingdom has to offer, and he has a nice figure besides.
See, Lehndorff is deeply appreciative of your legs and hips just as they are, P!
He meets the royal siblings as well, but in this case, Lehndorff clearly thinks the brother on the throne is the one who's hottest. You and Catherine both, Lehndorff, even if she's since moved on. Speaking of moving, Lehndorff isn't the only traveller hitting the road a lot in that year. So does Joseph. Since he's been doing that for a while, loyal Prussians like Lehndorff are starting to get worried. After all, their King has identified ViennaJoe as the coming menace of Europe!
„All the world is talking about the Emperor‘s travels. This prince with his captivating nature developes more and more into a farseeing statesman. While he shows the greatest respect to our royal house at all opportunities, he takes our allies and our influence from us. (...) in short, he does all we used to du until 1756 and we are turning from a first rate to a second rate power again without noticing.“
Not quite. (Speaking as a Southern German, I'm tempted to add "would that it were so", but then I remember that after Joseph and Poldl there came the arch reactionary Franz as Emperor, and that wouldn't have done anyone any good, either.) But it says something about current Prussian mentality that Lehndorff, who isn't gung ho about war, still after decades of Fritz rule has gotten used to the idea that Prussia needs to be the coolest, the most admired, or something is off.
Now, Lehndorff has of course been noticing that Heinrich and Fritz have been at it again ever since the war of the Bavarian succession. Or, as Lehndorff puts it about Heinrich "He has been sulking with the Firstborn". The Firstborn hasn't been seen a lot around anyway, which is worrying. Lehndorff therefore notes with some relief in early 1782:
February 1782: The King has dined this winter at Princess Amalie‘s, at Prince Heinrich‘s and even in great society. He is very well, and has been in a good mood despite the serious matters occupying him and despite his advanced age. Among other things, he said after hearing people talk about a girl who they said had much intelligence and could play the piano very well, then she was bound to be ugly.(...)
Fritz making sexist cracks is Fritz normal, so no more "he's at death's door " stories. And now comes one of Lehndorff's hands-down best pen portraits. Remember EC throwing her fan at Wartensleben? That guy dies. And as much as Lehndorff is fun when gushing, he's just as much fun when he's bitching:
The Queen’s eternal Count Wartensleben has died. He was, in short, a unique creature of his type. For 43 years, he has been at this court, and during these 43 years he didn’t miss executing the duties of his office for a single day. He only left the antechambre of the Queen in order to go to sleep. Despite the two of them living in each other’s pocket for all this time, they were constantly at odds. Never has a soldier guarded his position so well like Count Wartensleben has the Queen’s antechambre. She accused him of interfering in all her affairs, that he was listening at doors, that he was reporting on her to other people, that he even dared once to approach her as a lover. All this has given cause to the most stormy scenes. The queen, who usually is benevolent but also has a touchy temper, sometimes threw napkins at his head. One day, I witnessed an actual battle. Wartensleben made an objection which the Queen didn’t like. At first, she tried to change his mind in kindness. When she didn’t manage to do this, she hit him so heavily with her fan on the shoulder that the unfortunate fan burst into a thousand pieces. Despite such scenes, he remained the one constant inhabitant of the antechambre, for 43 long years. AT noon, he arrived in a carriage with horses which were as old as he was at the palace. The two footmen who were with him then had to inspect the entire palace, all corridors and corners and report to him what was happening. This kept him occupied until 2 pm, which was when the Queen sat down for her lunch. After the meal, he planted himself in the miserable, sleazy antechambre, stole all the sugar cubes from us which we were being given to drink our coffee with and remained there until the arrival of the guests at 7 pm. While everyone was gambling, he slinked away through the corridors, in his younger years in order to seduce the wardrobe ladies, and later in order to spy. He only left the palace after all the candles had been extinguished. Other than the urge to spy, hiis primary motivation was avarice. About a hundred times he has told me that he was saving a lot by not having to heat his room, use any light or furniture. Day after day, he nicked a piece of white bread from the table for his breakfeast the next morning, and he only had made hankerchiefs for the right hand which he needed to walk with the Queen. He was truly the worst of misers. Besides, he was as dull as dirt; he always talked about himself and what was going on in his house. I remember how he told us for eight days about an ulcer his youngest daughter had on her backside. At which point the splendid and witty stewardess of the Queen’s, Countess Camas, who was thoroughly fed up with the story, said: „My dear Count, I know a wonderful way to treat this ulcer.“ Delighted, he exclaimed: „My dear lady, I urge you tell me which it is!“ Quickly, she returned: „Her Daddy has to put his nose into it!“ It has to be said that Wartensleben‘s nose was one of the most impressive which have ever existed.
Like I said: one of Lehndorff's best. (Wartensleben stealing everyone's sugar cubes is my favourite detail.) He's off travelling again, via Silesia and today's Slovakia to Austrian territories and then to Bavaria and Franconia.
First, the cause of so much invasion and counter attack:
June 1782: Silesia shows rests of his former splendor, but in the four years I haven‘t been here, it has gone down with it. The great misery of our fatherland has spread everywhere. All the world is depressed and complains, especially because trade isn‘t going well. I was surprised when I saw at the window of a post station the words inscribed: Better a night in cold Russia than a hundred years in this land of famine.
Then he enters the arch enemy's territory for the first time in his life, when being at the Spa in Kalrsbad.:
„On Sunday the 9th of June I enjoy sitting down at a window and watching the droves of people hurrying towards the various churches. The people have been dressed well, acording to their respective stations, which makes me assume a shared prosperity. But sadly, I have only heard complaints about the terrible changes the Emperor has caused. Especially the high nobility and the clergy is very discontent. HIs Imperial Majesty oppresses and damages them as much as he can. Everyone has tears in their eyes as they talk of the late Empress. The freedom to write against the Catholic religion has been distorted into impudence. At all the bookstores, one sees pamphlets in which complaints against the celibacy of priests, against mass and against all the clerical privileges are made.“
Joseph, we're rooting for you, and it's depressing to know it will all have been in vain, well, a lot of it. Lehndorff now enters Franconia. What's in Franconia? Bayreuth, that's what's in Franconia! So where does a loyal Hohenzollern fan go in the June of 1782?
„From there, I visit the Eremitage, about an hour away from Bayreuth. This is a beautiful palace. I have never seen anything which has caused me as much pleasure to watch. It shows an exquisite, incomparable sense of art. The spirit of the late Margravine, the older sister of my King, can be found everywhere. Especially beautiful to me is the grave of Vergil which the Margravine has had copied exactly as she herself as seen it. There is a grotto theatre here which is unique for its kind. In order to get to the palace, one has to cross the Parnassuss, the mountain of the Muses. I spend four hours in this wonderful place. Sadness fills me as I have to leave it, and have to tell me that so much beauty no longer finds any attention since the serene lady who has created it has gone. Oh vanity of vanities! The new palace with its grotto and shell decoration in blue and white looks like it has escaped a fairy tale. Further, I visit the new Bayreuth promenade, which has been built under the supervision of Baron Seckendorff, who is the current first minister. I visit the opera house as well. Everything shows its builder’s wonderful taste. But all is dead! It is this which fills me with sadness.
We're with you, Lehndorff. But it's nice that you could see it; I think Fritz never did...
In October, he’s in Dresden: (Herr v. Hallberg) tells me of all kind of love affairs the late Princess Elector (Maria Antonia), who had been a born princess of Bavaria has conducted, worse than Messalina. It is strange that all her children have become very pious pricks since their mother has only been a sacred Venus.
Lehndorff, you should really find another designation for sexually active royal ladies than "Messalina". I'm just saying. Maria Antonia, btw, was MT's and Fritz' pen pal. Travelling through Saxony, Lehndorff uses the time to catch up on his reading:
(...) Through terrible ways, I get to Bautzen, where I stay for the night. Throughout the entire journey, I’m reading J.Jaques Rouseau’s „Confessions“. I can’t praise destiny enough for the fact my health and my eyes are still as good as if I was only 25. Rouseau has written his confessions exactly like everyone should write their life story. It would be the most interesting of all stories, for it is the history of the heart.
It's interesting that Lehndorff turns out to be a Rousseau fan. On the one hand, it's very him - the Confessions are famously emo, and of course shocked because they also (artfully) confessed to dastardly deeds of their author as well - , on the other, Rousseau was of course the literary god of all those revolutionaries currently still being young lawyers but soon ready to storm the Bastille.
Heinrich asks him to come to Berlin. Give you three guesses as to whether he goes. There, Amalie greets him kindly. He also visits EC, his former boss. It‘s November now.
„On Friday, I have lunch at the Queen‘s. AT this court nothing ever changes, the rooms, the tone, the tables are just like in 1747, when I entered this world. One has to respect the Queen, but it isn‘t really possible to love her, though she basically has all that would invite such a feeling, including a winning kindness. However, one never feels at ease in her company, not least because she gets so easily upset about small matters which others would dismiss with a laugh. (...)
I think this, as opposed to Lehndorff's complaints while he was still working for her, can be taken as a fair assessment on his part. After I have attended the Queen, I drive on to Prince Heinrich. I find he’s better looking than four years ago. He reminds me on the painful moment of our separation when he had to leave for the war. My joy is all the greater to see him now, especially since he is extremely charming to me. Good old Ludwig Wreech I find down with a worrying fever, Kaphengst with a double chin, Knyphausen is doing well, Tauentzien has grown into a man. And now there’s a new favourite. Count Wartensleben, formerly known under the nickname of „Nantchen!“. He’s been entrusted with the business of the princely household and seems to be very esteemed.
Love you noticing Kaphengst's double chin, Lehndorff. One appreciates the little things, eh?
December 10 - 16: I’m still busy making new acquaintances or to refresh old ones. I’m so delighted by Prince Heinrich and his natkure that I can hardly bear to leave him again. The conversation with him is always interesting, and I learn a lot. Sometimes I’m sitting alone with him till 1 in the morning, and if not for having to think of his and my health, I would like to remain until 4 am. No one will ever be quite like him.
You and your sparkly hearts drawing are forever, Lehndorff. Meanwhile, about the main Hohenzollern - and his new reader:
1783 - Januar 3rd: Finally after five years, I see the King agian. He looks extraordinarily healthy, his voice is strong, his face full of grace, so one almost forgets his age. We watch him during his audience for the foreign envoys. It is a pleasure to listen to how he talks to the representatives of different nations, finding a suitable individual tone for each of them. All the more painful it is for us, to see, how rarely this prince graces his subject with a conversation. He himself says he hardly knows anyone in Berlin. A charming man, the Marchese Lucchesini, an Italian, now belongs to his most trusted circle. I often have heard him mentioned, and was looking forward with the greatest interest to making his aquaintance. Then he lets himself be introduced to me at the opera. He reminds me vividly of Count Algarotti, who used to occupy a similar position in the King‘s life. ONe can call his nature angelic. Despite his position is designed to evoke envy and jealousy, he is still popular everywhere, both with the military and with civilians. This universal esteem is owed to his extraordinary intellegence. He knows a lot, has much wit, and has a very honest nature. Towards the King, he has managed to win his respect like few others, to a degree where the King spares him from being the target of his mockery. Nearly daily, I meet with this man at lunch, and his society is always the greatest pleasure to me.
And this is the quote which drew our attention to the fact there was a fourth Lehndorff diary volume published, mes amies.
The Lehndorff Report: The Magical Mystery Tour (1781 - early 1783)
Because 1781 and 1782 are Lehndorff's years of travelling. As you do, when you're retired. Since he's an East Prussian, there's one obvious destination he hasn't visited yet, except in passing through it. Yep, Lehndorff heads off to Poland. Currently ruled by none other but that enterprising gentleman whose memoirs I'm currently reading, the King formerly known as Poniatowski. It's the lovely month of May, Lehndorff likes Warsaw just fine, though he thinks the palace is a bit too overbudget for the Poles. He successfully angles for an invitation at court.
On the 9th at 10 am, I get presented to the King of Poland. He asks me to join him in his study and greets me with charming amiablity. He is still a beautiful man. He rises from his desk and tells me several pleasantries, while recalling that he has met me thirty years ago in Berlin. The conversation extends for quite a while. Finally, he tells me that he wants to show me his country seat himself. I must admit: even leaving his royal dignity aside, he is the most charming and witty man his kingdom has to offer, and he has a nice figure besides.
See, Lehndorff is deeply appreciative of your legs and hips just as they are, P!
He meets the royal siblings as well, but in this case, Lehndorff clearly thinks the brother on the throne is the one who's hottest. You and Catherine both, Lehndorff, even if she's since moved on. Speaking of moving, Lehndorff isn't the only traveller hitting the road a lot in that year. So does Joseph. Since he's been doing that for a while, loyal Prussians like Lehndorff are starting to get worried. After all, their King has identified ViennaJoe as the coming menace of Europe!
„All the world is talking about the Emperor‘s travels. This prince with his captivating nature developes more and more into a farseeing statesman. While he shows the greatest respect to our royal house at all opportunities, he takes our allies and our influence from us. (...) in short, he does all we used to du until 1756 and we are turning from a first rate to a second rate power again without noticing.“
Not quite. (Speaking as a Southern German, I'm tempted to add "would that it were so", but then I remember that after Joseph and Poldl there came the arch reactionary Franz as Emperor, and that wouldn't have done anyone any good, either.) But it says something about current Prussian mentality that Lehndorff, who isn't gung ho about war, still after decades of Fritz rule has gotten used to the idea that Prussia needs to be the coolest, the most admired, or something is off.
Now, Lehndorff has of course been noticing that Heinrich and Fritz have been at it again ever since the war of the Bavarian succession. Or, as Lehndorff puts it about Heinrich "He has been sulking with the Firstborn". The Firstborn hasn't been seen a lot around anyway, which is worrying. Lehndorff therefore notes with some relief in early 1782:
February 1782: The King has dined this winter at Princess Amalie‘s, at Prince Heinrich‘s and even in great society. He is very well, and has been in a good mood despite the serious matters occupying him and despite his advanced age. Among other things, he said after hearing people talk about a girl who they said had much intelligence and could play the piano very well, then she was bound to be ugly.(...)
Fritz making sexist cracks is Fritz normal, so no more "he's at death's door " stories. And now comes one of Lehndorff's hands-down best pen portraits. Remember EC throwing her fan at Wartensleben? That guy dies. And as much as Lehndorff is fun when gushing, he's just as much fun when he's bitching:
The Queen’s eternal Count Wartensleben has died. He was, in short, a unique creature of his type. For 43 years, he has been at this court, and during these 43 years he didn’t miss executing the duties of his office for a single day. He only left the antechambre of the Queen in order to go to sleep. Despite the two of them living in each other’s pocket for all this time, they were constantly at odds. Never has a soldier guarded his position so well like Count Wartensleben has the Queen’s antechambre. She accused him of interfering in all her affairs, that he was listening at doors, that he was reporting on her to other people, that he even dared once to approach her as a lover. All this has given cause to the most stormy scenes. The queen, who usually is benevolent but also has a touchy temper, sometimes threw napkins at his head. One day, I witnessed an actual battle. Wartensleben made an objection which the Queen didn’t like. At first, she tried to change his mind in kindness. When she didn’t manage to do this, she hit him so heavily with her fan on the shoulder that the unfortunate fan burst into a thousand pieces. Despite such scenes, he remained the one constant inhabitant of the antechambre, for 43 long years. AT noon, he arrived in a carriage with horses which were as old as he was at the palace. The two footmen who were with him then had to inspect the entire palace, all corridors and corners and report to him what was happening. This kept him occupied until 2 pm, which was when the Queen sat down for her lunch. After the meal, he planted himself in the miserable, sleazy antechambre, stole all the sugar cubes from us which we were being given to drink our coffee with and remained there until the arrival of the guests at 7 pm. While everyone was gambling, he slinked away through the corridors, in his younger years in order to seduce the wardrobe ladies, and later in order to spy. He only left the palace after all the candles had been extinguished. Other than the urge to spy, hiis primary motivation was avarice. About a hundred times he has told me that he was saving a lot by not having to heat his room, use any light or furniture. Day after day, he nicked a piece of white bread from the table for his breakfeast the next morning, and he only had made hankerchiefs for the right hand which he needed to walk with the Queen. He was truly the worst of misers. Besides, he was as dull as dirt; he always talked about himself and what was going on in his house. I remember how he told us for eight days about an ulcer his youngest daughter had on her backside. At which point the splendid and witty stewardess of the Queen’s, Countess Camas, who was thoroughly fed up with the story, said: „My dear Count, I know a wonderful way to treat this ulcer.“ Delighted, he exclaimed: „My dear lady, I urge you tell me which it is!“ Quickly, she returned: „Her Daddy has to put his nose into it!“ It has to be said that Wartensleben‘s nose was one of the most impressive which have ever existed.
Like I said: one of Lehndorff's best. (Wartensleben stealing everyone's sugar cubes is my favourite detail.) He's off travelling again, via Silesia and today's Slovakia to Austrian territories and then to Bavaria and Franconia.
First, the cause of so much invasion and counter attack:
June 1782: Silesia shows rests of his former splendor, but in the four years I haven‘t been here, it has gone down with it. The great misery of our fatherland has spread everywhere. All the world is depressed and complains, especially because trade isn‘t going well. I was surprised when I saw at the window of a post station the words inscribed: Better a night in cold Russia than a hundred years in this land of famine.
Then he enters the arch enemy's territory for the first time in his life, when being at the Spa in Kalrsbad.:
„On Sunday the 9th of June I enjoy sitting down at a window and watching the droves of people hurrying towards the various churches. The people have been dressed well, acording to their respective stations, which makes me assume a shared prosperity. But sadly, I have only heard complaints about the terrible changes the Emperor has caused. Especially the high nobility and the clergy is very discontent. HIs Imperial Majesty oppresses and damages them as much as he can. Everyone has tears in their eyes as they talk of the late Empress. The freedom to write against the Catholic religion has been distorted into impudence. At all the bookstores, one sees pamphlets in which complaints against the celibacy of priests, against mass and against all the clerical privileges are made.“
Joseph, we're rooting for you, and it's depressing to know it will all have been in vain, well, a lot of it. Lehndorff now enters Franconia. What's in Franconia? Bayreuth, that's what's in Franconia! So where does a loyal Hohenzollern fan go in the June of 1782?
„From there, I visit the Eremitage, about an hour away from Bayreuth. This is a beautiful palace. I have never seen anything which has caused me as much pleasure to watch. It shows an exquisite, incomparable sense of art. The spirit of the late Margravine, the older sister of my King, can be found everywhere. Especially beautiful to me is the grave of Vergil which the Margravine has had copied exactly as she herself as seen it. There is a grotto theatre here which is unique for its kind. In order to get to the palace, one has to cross the Parnassuss, the mountain of the Muses. I spend four hours in this wonderful place. Sadness fills me as I have to leave it, and have to tell me that so much beauty no longer finds any attention since the serene lady who has created it has gone. Oh vanity of vanities!
The new palace with its grotto and shell decoration in blue and white looks like it has escaped a fairy tale. Further, I visit the new Bayreuth promenade, which has been built under the supervision of Baron Seckendorff, who is the current first minister. I visit the opera house as well. Everything shows its builder’s wonderful taste. But all is dead! It is this which fills me with sadness.
We're with you, Lehndorff. But it's nice that you could see it; I think Fritz never did...
In October, he’s in Dresden: (Herr v. Hallberg) tells me of all kind of love affairs the late Princess Elector (Maria Antonia), who had been a born princess of Bavaria has conducted, worse than Messalina. It is strange that all her children have become very pious pricks since their mother has only been a sacred Venus.
Lehndorff, you should really find another designation for sexually active royal ladies than "Messalina". I'm just saying. Maria Antonia, btw, was MT's and Fritz' pen pal. Travelling through Saxony, Lehndorff uses the time to catch up on his reading:
(...) Through terrible ways, I get to Bautzen, where I stay for the night. Throughout the entire journey, I’m reading J.Jaques Rouseau’s „Confessions“. I can’t praise destiny enough for the fact my health and my eyes are still as good as if I was only 25. Rouseau has written his confessions exactly like everyone should write their life story. It would be the most interesting of all stories, for it is the history of the heart.
It's interesting that Lehndorff turns out to be a Rousseau fan. On the one hand, it's very him - the Confessions are famously emo, and of course shocked because they also (artfully) confessed to dastardly deeds of their author as well - , on the other, Rousseau was of course the literary god of all those revolutionaries currently still being young lawyers but soon ready to storm the Bastille.
Heinrich asks him to come to Berlin. Give you three guesses as to whether he goes. There, Amalie greets him kindly. He also visits EC, his former boss. It‘s November now.
„On Friday, I have lunch at the Queen‘s. AT this court nothing ever changes, the rooms, the tone, the tables are just like in 1747, when I entered this world. One has to respect the Queen, but it isn‘t really possible to love her, though she basically has all that would invite such a feeling, including a winning kindness. However, one never feels at ease in her company, not least because she gets so easily upset about small matters which others would dismiss with a laugh. (...)
I think this, as opposed to Lehndorff's complaints while he was still working for her, can be taken as a fair assessment on his part.
After I have attended the Queen, I drive on to Prince Heinrich. I find he’s better looking than four years ago. He reminds me on the painful moment of our separation when he had to leave for the war. My joy is all the greater to see him now, especially since he is extremely charming to me. Good old Ludwig Wreech I find down with a worrying fever, Kaphengst with a double chin, Knyphausen is doing well, Tauentzien has grown into a man. And now there’s a new favourite. Count Wartensleben, formerly known under the nickname of „Nantchen!“. He’s been entrusted with the business of the princely household and seems to be very esteemed.
Love you noticing Kaphengst's double chin, Lehndorff. One appreciates the little things, eh?
December 10 - 16: I’m still busy making new acquaintances or to refresh old ones. I’m so delighted by Prince Heinrich and his natkure that I can hardly bear to leave him again. The conversation with him is always interesting, and I learn a lot. Sometimes I’m sitting alone with him till 1 in the morning, and if not for having to think of his and my health, I would like to remain until 4 am. No one will ever be quite like him.
You and your sparkly hearts drawing are forever, Lehndorff. Meanwhile, about the main Hohenzollern - and his new reader:
1783 - Januar 3rd: Finally after five years, I see the King agian. He looks extraordinarily healthy, his voice is strong, his face full of grace, so one almost forgets his age. We watch him during his audience for the foreign envoys. It is a pleasure to listen to how he talks to the representatives of different nations, finding a suitable individual tone for each of them. All the more painful it is for us, to see, how rarely this prince graces his subject with a conversation. He himself says he hardly knows anyone in Berlin.
A charming man, the Marchese Lucchesini, an Italian, now belongs to his most trusted circle. I often have heard him mentioned, and was looking forward with the greatest interest to making his aquaintance. Then he lets himself be introduced to me at the opera. He reminds me vividly of Count Algarotti, who used to occupy a similar position in the King‘s life. ONe can call his nature angelic. Despite his position is designed to evoke envy and jealousy, he is still popular everywhere, both with the military and with civilians. This universal esteem is owed to his extraordinary intellegence. He knows a lot, has much wit, and has a very honest nature. Towards the King, he has managed to win his respect like few others, to a degree where the King spares him from being the target of his mockery. Nearly daily, I meet with this man at lunch, and his society is always the greatest pleasure to me.
And this is the quote which drew our attention to the fact there was a fourth Lehndorff diary volume published, mes amies.