ndeed My God, why is he so charming! does sound like a man adorably in love <3
Oh, that's the least of it. Regular Lehndorff entries on Heinrich include, from the early days: 1752, December 1. Depressing supper with the Queen. In the afternoon, I stay at home and have the pleasure of spending a moment with H. What a fortune it is to have someone for whom one lives and with whom one always want to live! Time passes so very quickly with him, and only the idea of not being with him spoils this pure joy.
December 10th: While with the Queen, I manage to talk to H. who embraces me tenderly.
December 11th: At the opera, I have the pleasure of embracing my dearest H. It is he who makes the carnival beautiful for me.
(Note: The Carnival season in Berlin started already at the beginning of December.)
December 13th: Lamberg returns. I am glad, for I like him, and I know this causes happiness to the one I love. Which makes me sad, but I don't show it. For jealousy follows passion so swiftly.
December 29th: I visit the opera, and from there my dearest H. I dine alone with him. My heart feels the whole height of this pleasure as I haven't been able to enjoy it for such a long time. He comes with me to my old flat, where we celebrate stag night. (Polterabend, i.e what you usually do before a wedding.) From there, he comes with me to my new flat, where I sleep for the first time.
January 3rd. In the theatre, I see my dear H. A moment with the Queen, and then I dine with the dearest of all being whom I love so tenderly.
January 6th. The same evening, I see my dear H. Oh, one is never completely happy! I am convinced he loves me, and still I am tormented by the thought I could lose this precious heart. I was invited at Herr von Bredow's, so I briefly went there. I find a big crowd, among others a Herr von Katt, who is not the most agreeable company to me.
January 7th: Grand cour at the Queen's. I stay but a moment and then withdraw with my dear H. How much I enjoy being alone with him! What little reason I have leaves me entirely as soon as this dear creature captivates me. Why is man so weak! Without this passion, I could live as a philosopher. I spend a charming evening with him. We read. This pleasure gets interrupted by the arrival of young Lb (Lamberg?). But as I come with my dear H, I manage to be alone with him again.
January 9th. I dine with my delightful H. After dinner, he reads the tragedy Andronicus. Anything about him is interesting, and anything he does, he succeeds in. He has the gift of shattering me by his reading.
January 11th. I thought I would have to dine alone, but as I sit down at my table, my dear beloved little H. comes to visit me. He is in a charming mood. He organizes the cooking, and seems to enjoy himself. Then he reads the tragedy "Cyrus" to my delight; in short, he is charming in everything he does. I see him again at the Queen Mother's. There, I have reason for jealousy, for it seems to me he talks too tenderly with Maltzahn. This makes me sad, and I go home in a depression. I cannot sleep for the entire night, because I can't stop thinking about them. Through all this night, I had bad luck at gambling, too.
January 14th. After church, I go home and wait till it is time to attend the Queen. There, I see my charming H. Without pausing, I return with him to my flat. He dines with me in an amiable mood and is more charming than ever. My sole grief is that he could feel attracted to M. I can't help but thinking he is when I see them together, and it makes me sad.
January 18th: As this is the Prince's birthday, the court of the Queen Mother's is assembled in full. I am convinced that as many have good wishes for the prince as those where clothing on their skin. For to know him is to love him. I seek out my dear H., embrace him tenderly and await with impatience the next opportunity to be alone with him. (...) I feel something for him I haven't felt for anyone else. Sometimes I wish he was poor, so I could give him anything I have; at other times, I would be ready to do the most humble service if only that meant I could be always with him.
January 24th. To the theatre, where they have some pretty dances. At last to H. whom I love so tenderly. But I tremble at the thought he could change his mind about me. If this should happen, all the joy of the world would be as nothing. I always thought to possess this heart would be the highest happiness. But my eternal unrest proves to me that there is nothing perfect in life. The smallest kindness he shows to another robs me of all my calm. Yesterday I saw him drive away with another. I thought he'd go home to be alone with M, and was in despair. Fortunately, I saw M return only fifteen minutes later and found it he only went with him on a visit.
December 22nd. Prince Heinrich arrives in tight riding pants and beautiful like an angel for dinner.
And there you have the basic problem. Heinrich did like Lehndorff - he must have, because he didn't benefit from the relationship in a political or otherwise way and yet kept the friendship up throughout his life, and it wasn't one sided Lehndorff being there for him in times of distress, either (for example, when Lehndorff's first wife and all of his first four children have died, Heinrich is there for him) - but he also never committed himself to an exclusive romance with him which was what Lehndorff clearly wanted. Instead, he offered solely friends with benefits, while he had his favourites. (Heinrich: as openly gay as you could possibly be.) Who tended to be charismatic bastards whom he spent a lot of money on. So fast forward a decade later, is Lehndorff more chill about his prince? We're in the middle of the 7 years war, it's just two years after Hotham, and:
May 10th: Schwerin arrives, page to Prince Heinrich, the most adorable of heroes, who with the cold bloodedness of an old man and the energy of a youth has contributed so much to the happy conclusion of the battle. Little Schwerin visits me and tells me many fine traits of his master. He himself has had a horse shot underneath him, while Major Ducroit of his regiment has lost both his legs. Fortunately, my Prince was only hit by a bullet in the arm. I daresay never has the son or brother of a King been in such danger and made such a success of it as this prince. And when the battle was finished, he did not rest, but dedicated himself until 10 pm to services of humanity by distributing food and water to the wounded, and organizing their transport. One of the officers of his entourage who had lost a horse he immediately gifted with an English - I take it this is a horse? - and the entire saddle, each of his batmen with 50 Louisdor and golden watches for his pages. Thus he did not think of his own comfort but only of helping others and of rewarding the deeds of the young officers.
In 1762, when the war gets in its final year, Lehndorff is with Heinrich when Heinrich hears about the Miracle of the House of Brandenburg:
On January 31st, I arrive at Hof, a village with a beautiful House belonging to Count Zinzendorf which Prince Heinrich has chosen as his winter headquarters. Seeing this prince again is a particular pleasure for me as I had to forego this joy for the last two years. I find him full of infinite kindness towards me, and the hours I spend with him are among the most pleasant of my life. He is sick when I arrive. I spend the entire day with him and don't leave his room again until mightnight. He speaks with much interest of old times and of our youth. He sincerely wishes for an ending to this cruel war. After all hopes that the King would emerge successful from all those crisis were in vain, there is a sudden beam of hope through the death of the Empress of Russia. For this princess had been personally incensed against the King and sworn his downfall, avenging all the jokes the King has made about her to our misfortune. Her desire has been so much successful so far that the Russians were in possession of (Eastern) Prussia, Pommerania, Kolberg, parts of the Neumark and with their army in a considerable part of Silesia, and they were about to strike the final blow, when to our fortune death fell on her. Her country loses a good ruler, but we are sure to gain from this. Her successor is said to follow a very different policy. (You can say this again.) (....)
After spending 14 days with this dear Prince, I part from him again with infinite regret. He makes me beautiful presents out of porcellain. After a tender farewell, I take the route Wurzen(…)
Re: My Englishmanm, or: Heinrich Who?
ndeed My God, why is he so charming! does sound like a man adorably in love <3
Oh, that's the least of it. Regular Lehndorff entries on Heinrich include, from the early days:
1752, December 1. Depressing supper with the Queen. In the afternoon, I stay at home and have the pleasure of spending a moment with H. What a fortune it is to have someone for whom one lives and with whom one always want to live! Time passes so very quickly with him, and only the idea of not being with him spoils this pure joy.
December 10th: While with the Queen, I manage to talk to H. who embraces me tenderly.
December 11th: At the opera, I have the pleasure of embracing my dearest H. It is he who makes the carnival beautiful for me.
(Note: The Carnival season in Berlin started already at the beginning of December.)
December 13th: Lamberg returns. I am glad, for I like him, and I know this causes happiness to the one I love. Which makes me sad, but I don't show it. For jealousy follows passion so swiftly.
December 29th: I visit the opera, and from there my dearest H. I dine alone with him. My heart feels the whole height of this pleasure as I haven't been able to enjoy it for such a long time. He comes with me to my old flat, where we celebrate stag night. (Polterabend, i.e what you usually do before a wedding.) From there, he comes with me to my new flat, where I sleep for the first time.
January 3rd. In the theatre, I see my dear H. A moment with the Queen, and then I dine with the dearest of all being whom I love so tenderly.
January 6th. The same evening, I see my dear H. Oh, one is never completely happy! I am convinced he loves me, and still I am tormented by the thought I could lose this precious heart. I was invited at Herr von Bredow's, so I briefly went there. I find a big crowd, among others a Herr von Katt, who is not the most agreeable company to me.
January 7th: Grand cour at the Queen's. I stay but a moment and then withdraw with my dear H. How much I enjoy being alone with him! What little reason I have leaves me entirely as soon as this dear creature captivates me. Why is man so weak! Without this passion, I could live as a philosopher. I spend a charming evening with him. We read. This pleasure gets interrupted by the arrival of young Lb (Lamberg?). But as I come with my dear H, I manage to be alone with him again.
January 9th. I dine with my delightful H. After dinner, he reads the tragedy Andronicus. Anything about him is interesting, and anything he does, he succeeds in. He has the gift of shattering me by his reading.
January 11th. I thought I would have to dine alone, but as I sit down at my table, my dear beloved little H. comes to visit me. He is in a charming mood. He organizes the cooking, and seems to enjoy himself. Then he reads the tragedy "Cyrus" to my delight; in short, he is charming in everything he does. I see him again at the Queen Mother's. There, I have reason for jealousy, for it seems to me he talks too tenderly with Maltzahn. This makes me sad, and I go home in a depression. I cannot sleep for the entire night, because I can't stop thinking about them. Through all this night, I had bad luck at gambling, too.
January 14th. After church, I go home and wait till it is time to attend the Queen. There, I see my charming H. Without pausing, I return with him to my flat. He dines with me in an amiable mood and is more charming than ever. My sole grief is that he could feel attracted to M. I can't help but thinking he is when I see them together, and it makes me sad.
January 18th: As this is the Prince's birthday, the court of the Queen Mother's is assembled in full. I am convinced that as many have good wishes for the prince as those where clothing on their skin. For to know him is to love him. I seek out my dear H., embrace him tenderly and await with impatience the next opportunity to be alone with him. (...) I feel something for him I haven't felt for anyone else. Sometimes I wish he was poor, so I could give him anything I have; at other times, I would be ready to do the most humble service if only that meant I could be always with him.
January 24th. To the theatre, where they have some pretty dances. At last to H. whom I love so tenderly. But I tremble at the thought he could change his mind about me. If this should happen, all the joy of the world would be as nothing. I always thought to possess this heart would be the highest happiness. But my eternal unrest proves to me that there is nothing perfect in life. The smallest kindness he shows to another robs me of all my calm. Yesterday I saw him drive away with another. I thought he'd go home to be alone with M, and was in despair. Fortunately, I saw M return only fifteen minutes later and found it he only went with him on a visit.
December 22nd. Prince Heinrich arrives in tight riding pants and beautiful like an angel for dinner.
And there you have the basic problem. Heinrich did like Lehndorff - he must have, because he didn't benefit from the relationship in a political or otherwise way and yet kept the friendship up throughout his life, and it wasn't one sided Lehndorff being there for him in times of distress, either (for example, when Lehndorff's first wife and all of his first four children have died, Heinrich is there for him) - but he also never committed himself to an exclusive romance with him which was what Lehndorff clearly wanted. Instead, he offered solely friends with benefits, while he had his favourites. (Heinrich: as openly gay as you could possibly be.) Who tended to be charismatic bastards whom he spent a lot of money on. So fast forward a decade later, is Lehndorff more chill about his prince? We're in the middle of the 7 years war, it's just two years after Hotham, and:
May 10th: Schwerin arrives, page to Prince Heinrich, the most adorable of heroes, who with the cold bloodedness of an old man and the energy of a youth has contributed so much to the happy conclusion of the battle. Little Schwerin visits me and tells me many fine traits of his master. He himself has had a horse shot underneath him, while Major Ducroit of his regiment has lost both his legs. Fortunately, my Prince was only hit by a bullet in the arm. I daresay never has the son or brother of a King been in such danger and made such a success of it as this prince. And when the battle was finished, he did not rest, but dedicated himself until 10 pm to services of humanity by distributing food and water to the wounded, and organizing their transport. One of the officers of his entourage who had lost a horse he immediately gifted with an English - I take it this is a horse? - and the entire saddle, each of his batmen with 50 Louisdor and golden watches for his pages. Thus he did not think of his own comfort but only of helping others and of rewarding the deeds of the young officers.
In 1762, when the war gets in its final year, Lehndorff is with Heinrich when Heinrich hears about the Miracle of the House of Brandenburg:
On January 31st, I arrive at Hof, a village with a beautiful House belonging to Count Zinzendorf which Prince Heinrich has chosen as his winter headquarters. Seeing this prince again is a particular pleasure for me as I had to forego this joy for the last two years. I find him full of infinite kindness towards me, and the hours I spend with him are among the most pleasant of my life. He is sick when I arrive. I spend the entire day with him and don't leave his room again until mightnight. He speaks with much interest of old times and of our youth. He sincerely wishes for an ending to this cruel war. After all hopes that the King would emerge successful from all those crisis were in vain, there is a sudden beam of hope through the death of the Empress of Russia. For this princess had been personally incensed against the King and sworn his downfall, avenging all the jokes the King has made about her to our misfortune. Her desire has been so much successful so far that the Russians were in possession of (Eastern) Prussia, Pommerania, Kolberg, parts of the Neumark and with their army in a considerable part of Silesia, and they were about to strike the final blow, when to our fortune death fell on her. Her country loses a good ruler, but we are sure to gain from this. Her successor is said to follow a very different policy. (You can say this again.) (....)
After spending 14 days with this dear Prince, I part from him again with infinite regret. He makes me beautiful presents out of porcellain. After a tender farewell, I take the route Wurzen(…)