So, my take on Fredersdorf, and Fritz/Fredersdorf, based on very little data - I mean, I haven't even read a single complete letter, for God's sake, let alone several, only quotes of same. So I might be very mistaken.
What I find fascinating from the get go is that he's from a different background than nearly everyone else in this 18th century soap opera. I mean, we may never learn the name of Marwitz the hot page, but we do know he's part of a noble Prussian family. Ditto for almost everyone else. Minor or major noble can differ, but they have this particular background. They speak the same cultural language, literally so. The non Prussians like Algarotti or Voltaire come from a completely different background, too, but they have the superb education and their respective artistic skills, and their very Italian and Frenchness is a plus.
Meanwhile, Fredersdorf is a commoner. And while him loving music is one of the reasons why he ever was allowed near Fritz to begin with, he evidently doesn't speak French, or not enough of it to correspond fluently in. Given how efficient he proves himself to be in the next two decades at picking up new skills, adminstrative and otherwise, I'm sure he's good at learning, but still, that should be a minus right from the get go. Might not be a problem if he were just a potentional one night stand, a pretty face and no more, but whatever else he is, he's someone whom Fritz remains close two for a long time, goes out of his way to have him around. When Fredersdorf should remind him of the worst time of his life, both because that's when and where they met, and because Fredesdorf's language of choice or nature or necessity is the very one his father tried to force down Fritz' throat during that very year, which he'll resent for the rest of his life. Why isn't Fredesdorf dumped the moment Fritz is free of Küstrin and has other options, or shortly thereafter? Why does he instead make the effort he doesn't make for anyone else, communicating in an idiom he resents otherwise, risking sounding clumsy, unabashedly emotional, without even the pretense of irony about it?
You could say "human security blanket", and I'm sure it's that, too, but again: there are other options. Plus: Fritz is distrustful (for a reason) and will only get more so through the years. Why doesn't he resent, even retrospectively, being managed by being given the company of an attractive music-playing soldier?
Tentative conclusion: Fredersdorf must have been able to convince him - at least until the marriage - that irrespective of the reasons for their original getting together, he cares for Fritz, and that he's worth the risk of caring about him in return. Possibly because he's seen Fritz at his most powerless and desperate and been there for him, but again, that could just as well have worked against him, not for him, once Fritz starts to regain power and then become top of his world. And I'm reminded now of Fritz actually could be kind, if he wanted to, not just as a one time gesture but consistently as seen in the case of Louise and three of her children. I suggest kindness is something you need to experience first before becoming capable of it, and the first 18 years of his life were in pretty short supply of it. Therefore, my current speculation is that this might have been Fredersdorf's secret (in terms of why he endured instead of being dumped early on): that he was consistently kind. (In addition to being musical and hot, and efficient at organizing.) And that he was so without being naive; you don't survive being naive at the Prussian court for twenty years as the male and Prussian version of Madame de Pompadour. Especially if almost everyone's default setting is "a commoner? Sneer!"
All of which doesn't mean they both necessarily got all they wanted from each other. I mean, Fredersdorf's marriage could have had any number of reasons. Maybe he just wanted financial independence that relied on not just Fritz alone, since his wife was a wealthy heiress. Maybe he wanted children. (That he didn't eventually have any doesn't mean he couldn't have wanted them.) Maybe after two decades with Fritz, he was emotionally worn out and wanted someone to take care of him for a change. Or he could have felt sincerely attracted. However much or little of the gossip about Fritz and various pages and soliders is true, it doesn't sound like they were exclusive on Fritz' side, and while women were socialized to accept a double standard in that regard, men weren't so much. We also can't underestimate that not to marry was by far the most unusual option in those days if you weren't a Catholic priest. (Most of Heinrich's more long term boyfriends ended up married, too, or were already so.)
But we're still left with twenty plus years together when the odds were against them. Thus I submit: perfect it was not, but I'd say chances are it was mutual love.
Fredersdorf
What I find fascinating from the get go is that he's from a different background than nearly everyone else in this 18th century soap opera. I mean, we may never learn the name of Marwitz the hot page, but we do know he's part of a noble Prussian family. Ditto for almost everyone else. Minor or major noble can differ, but they have this particular background. They speak the same cultural language, literally so. The non Prussians like Algarotti or Voltaire come from a completely different background, too, but they have the superb education and their respective artistic skills, and their very Italian and Frenchness is a plus.
Meanwhile, Fredersdorf is a commoner. And while him loving music is one of the reasons why he ever was allowed near Fritz to begin with, he evidently doesn't speak French, or not enough of it to correspond fluently in. Given how efficient he proves himself to be in the next two decades at picking up new skills, adminstrative and otherwise, I'm sure he's good at learning, but still, that should be a minus right from the get go. Might not be a problem if he were just a potentional one night stand, a pretty face and no more, but whatever else he is, he's someone whom Fritz remains close two for a long time, goes out of his way to have him around. When Fredersdorf should remind him of the worst time of his life, both because that's when and where they met, and because Fredesdorf's language of choice or nature or necessity is the very one his father tried to force down Fritz' throat during that very year, which he'll resent for the rest of his life. Why isn't Fredesdorf dumped the moment Fritz is free of Küstrin and has other options, or shortly thereafter? Why does he instead make the effort he doesn't make for anyone else, communicating in an idiom he resents otherwise, risking sounding clumsy, unabashedly emotional, without even the pretense of irony about it?
You could say "human security blanket", and I'm sure it's that, too, but again: there are other options. Plus: Fritz is distrustful (for a reason) and will only get more so through the years. Why doesn't he resent, even retrospectively, being managed by being given the company of an attractive music-playing soldier?
Tentative conclusion: Fredersdorf must have been able to convince him - at least until the marriage - that irrespective of the reasons for their original getting together, he cares for Fritz, and that he's worth the risk of caring about him in return. Possibly because he's seen Fritz at his most powerless and desperate and been there for him, but again, that could just as well have worked against him, not for him, once Fritz starts to regain power and then become top of his world. And I'm reminded now of Fritz actually could be kind, if he wanted to, not just as a one time gesture but consistently as seen in the case of Louise and three of her children. I suggest kindness is something you need to experience first before becoming capable of it, and the first 18 years of his life were in pretty short supply of it. Therefore, my current speculation is that this might have been Fredersdorf's secret (in terms of why he endured instead of being dumped early on): that he was consistently kind. (In addition to being musical and hot, and efficient at organizing.) And that he was so without being naive; you don't survive being naive at the Prussian court for twenty years as the male and Prussian version of Madame de Pompadour. Especially if almost everyone's default setting is "a commoner? Sneer!"
All of which doesn't mean they both necessarily got all they wanted from each other. I mean, Fredersdorf's marriage could have had any number of reasons. Maybe he just wanted financial independence that relied on not just Fritz alone, since his wife was a wealthy heiress. Maybe he wanted children. (That he didn't eventually have any doesn't mean he couldn't have wanted them.) Maybe after two decades with Fritz, he was emotionally worn out and wanted someone to take care of him for a change. Or he could have felt sincerely attracted. However much or little of the gossip about Fritz and various pages and soliders is true, it doesn't sound like they were exclusive on Fritz' side, and while women were socialized to accept a double standard in that regard, men weren't so much. We also can't underestimate that not to marry was by far the most unusual option in those days if you weren't a Catholic priest. (Most of Heinrich's more long term boyfriends ended up married, too, or were already so.)
But we're still left with twenty plus years together when the odds were against them. Thus I submit: perfect it was not, but I'd say chances are it was mutual love.