...it is super sad and WTF about these tall shepherds, and at the same time, from centuries of remove, I also kind of find it macabrely funny. (Not for the shepherds, of course.)

Man, Wilhelmine really did luck out -- by which I mean, married someone who wasn't horribly awful and/or had awful PTSD or both -- wow, my standards for 18thC marriage (from the woman's perspective) are super low. And probably still too high :P