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Yuletide tags are out: Frederician version
Come join us in this crazy Frederick the Great fandom and learn more about all these crazy associated people, like the star-crossed and heartbreaking romance between Maria Theresia's daughter Maria Christina and her daughter-in-law Isabella, wow.
OK, so, there are FOURTEEN characters nominated:
Anna Karolina Orzelska (Frederician RPF)
Elisabeth Christine von Preußen | Elisabeth Christine Queen of Prussia (Frederician RPF)
Francesco Algarotti (Frederician RPF)
François-Marie Arouet | Voltaire (Frederician RPF)
Friedrich II von Preußen | Frederick the Great (Frederician RPF)
Hans Hermann Von Katte (Frederician RPF)
Joseph II Holy Roman Emperor (Frederician RPF)
Maria Theresia | Maria Theresa of Austria (Frederician RPF)
Michael Gabriel Fredersdorf (Frederician RPF)
Peter Karl Christoph von Keith (Frederician RPF)
Sophia Dorothea of Hanover (Frederician RPF)
Stanisław August Poniatowski (Frederician RPF)
Wilhelmine von Preußen | Wilhelmine of Prussia (1709-1758) (Frederician RPF)
Yekatarina II Alekseyevna | Catherine the Great of Russia (Frederician RPF)
This means some fourth person kindly nominated Algarotti and -- I think? -- Stanislaw August Poniatowski! YAY! Thank you fourth person! Come be our friend! :D Yuletide is so great!
I am definitely requesting Maria Theresia, Wilhelmine, and Fritz (Put them in a room together. Shake. How big is the explosion?), and thinking about Elisabeth Christine, but maybe not this year.
I am also declaring this post another Frederician post, as the last one was getting out of hand. I think I'll still use that one as the overall index to these, though, to keep all the links in one place.
(seriously, every time I think the wild stories are done there is ANOTHER one)
OK, so, there are FOURTEEN characters nominated:
Anna Karolina Orzelska (Frederician RPF)
Elisabeth Christine von Preußen | Elisabeth Christine Queen of Prussia (Frederician RPF)
Francesco Algarotti (Frederician RPF)
François-Marie Arouet | Voltaire (Frederician RPF)
Friedrich II von Preußen | Frederick the Great (Frederician RPF)
Hans Hermann Von Katte (Frederician RPF)
Joseph II Holy Roman Emperor (Frederician RPF)
Maria Theresia | Maria Theresa of Austria (Frederician RPF)
Michael Gabriel Fredersdorf (Frederician RPF)
Peter Karl Christoph von Keith (Frederician RPF)
Sophia Dorothea of Hanover (Frederician RPF)
Stanisław August Poniatowski (Frederician RPF)
Wilhelmine von Preußen | Wilhelmine of Prussia (1709-1758) (Frederician RPF)
Yekatarina II Alekseyevna | Catherine the Great of Russia (Frederician RPF)
This means some fourth person kindly nominated Algarotti and -- I think? -- Stanislaw August Poniatowski! YAY! Thank you fourth person! Come be our friend! :D Yuletide is so great!
I am definitely requesting Maria Theresia, Wilhelmine, and Fritz (Put them in a room together. Shake. How big is the explosion?), and thinking about Elisabeth Christine, but maybe not this year.
I am also declaring this post another Frederician post, as the last one was getting out of hand. I think I'll still use that one as the overall index to these, though, to keep all the links in one place.
(seriously, every time I think the wild stories are done there is ANOTHER one)
Re: Fritz: Worst condolence letter writer ever?
Anyway, there are two main aspects of his letters to Heinrich after AW's death. One is, "I loved AW too, please don't think I didn't." Now, Fritz's (in)ability to 1) not fuck up family relations in the first place, 2) make amends when there's still time, 3) admit wrongdoing when it's too late, is the obvious major problem here. But given that, you can see the attempt at mollifying. This, of course, is where the saying "intent is not magic" comes in. But the attempt was there.
The second part is: the human condition and how to deal with grief. And this is something Fritz seriously struggled with all his life. He had a lot of practice. :/ And he was always torn between seeing the value of Stoicism and Stoic-influenced philosophy on the one hand, and on the other believing that the ability to form emotional bonds with people is what makes us human, and that anyone who can effortlessly brush off loss the way the Stoics want would not be human, and he's not even sure you want to be that person. Except it would hurt a hell of a lot less, so he kind of wants to be that person. But he can't in any case.
Reading the back and forth of his letters to and from Heinrich right after AW's death is eerily like reading an exchange inside Fritz's own head whenever someone he loved dies.
Fritz: I know it hurts; believe me, I've been there, and I'm actually pretty cut up about this particular loss too, but your duty requires you to carry on. <-- Something we know he frequently said to himself when he was tired and hurting and just wanted a break from it all.
Heinrich: Yes, I know, and I am and I will, please don't worry, but seriously, it's impossible for humans to not have any feeling at all. <-- What Fritz frequently said about himself when explaining how he spent the whole day crying instead of being philosophical.
Heinrich: Also, I'm pretty sure those who live away from human society are happier than princes. <-- What Fritz is known to have said after someone he loved died.
Fritz: Okay, I know what you're saying, but you can't let it get to you, you can't become a misanthrope. We are humans and we are part of society. <-- What Fritz, the misanthropically inclined, had to tell himself all the time. Yes, it comes across as hypocrisy whenever Fritz tells someone (Heinrich is not the only example) not to be a misanthrope, but I think he was actually not a committed misanthrope, but a traumatized-as-hell struggling-not-to-be-a misanthrope.
As condolence letters go, it's a complete failure of communication, but some of it is incompetence, rather than malice or sheer defensiveness (he is so freaking defensive about AW to both Heinrich and Catt it's not even funny).
Also in Fritz's defense, or at least as context, he has just lost not just his mother (and Fredersdorf), but one brother already (presumptively from grief), Wilhelmine is dying (she's got 3 months to live) and he's worried sick about her and constantly asking for news, he's worried about brother Ferdinand dying (he recovers, but Fritz doesn't know that at this point), and you can see him freaking out at the thought of Heinrich dying of grief, and going PLEASE DON'T at him.
Other things we know besides how AW just died of grief: Fritz isn't actively suicidal, but, especially at times of great loss, he does wistfully think about how nice it will be to be dead someday. Is he projecting his own emotional reactions to losing a beloved sibling onto Heinrich? Hell yes. Total breakdown in understanding what it would be useful for *Heinrich* to hear, but he's telling him what *he* wants to hear at a time like this, or at least the most useful things he can come up with to tell himself (which aren't very good, but at least keep him from giving up on life).
Which means, continuing with the theory of "this is what gets Fritz out of a grief-ridden borderline-suicidal funk"...there's the part where he goes, "Don't put me through losing you too." I'll delete my rant about how this is the single most common thing to say to someone who is seriously considering suicide (which I have no evidence Heinrich was) and probably second-most pernicious thing, but there is an aspect of "someone living still cares about you" that can be useful for someone in grief to hear. (Leaving aside the part where it needs to be phrased hella differently.)
Now, where has *Fritz* heard this line before? At Küstrin, when for 3 days after Katte's death, he was screaming, crying, feverish, possibly hallucinating or at least having severe flashbacks, and refusing to eat. Until finally someone said, "Look, if you starve yourself to death, it's going to hurt your mother and your sister."
And by all accounts, that was when he pulled himself together.
It's still one of the world's worst condolence letters, incredibly "me" focused and totally lacking in effective empathy. But, defensiveness aside, it is a very clear window into Fritz's brain, and an attempt to give Heinrich the only help that he himself ever got.
That's why I think the "See? See?! I told you so!" letters have less redeeming value. I find that hard to read as anything but sheer callousness, born of not caring about EC or her brother, or her other brother.
In conclusion, my own opinion about abuse is that abusers usually have reasons for the things they do, and you can totally understand those reasons and *still* declare the abusive behavior unacceptable and decide the right move is to protect yourself. Like, I understand my own family's behavior and hope they get help, but I'm still not on speaking terms with them.
Re: Fritz: Worst condolence letter writer ever?
(I was kind of thinking, okay, Fritz, can't you just... figure out how this works from example, but it seems like it's possible he just never had any decent examples until it was too late to do any good. But still.)
Re: Fritz: Worst condolence letter writer ever?
He was, after all, an inveterate advice-giver (see also: teaching castrati to sing), and I don't think he had the tools in his emotional toolbox to figure out that while this might be the advice he gives himself at a time like this, it's not what he needs to be giving Heinrich if he wants to help him. That's the part of the letter that's easiest for me to forgive. (And by "forgive" I mean "it is specifically the fact that this letter is so terrible that means it requires forgiveness.")
Re: Fritz: Worst condolence letter writer ever?
Re: Fritz: Worst condolence letter writer ever?
Seriously, the reason I'm so understanding of Fritz's shortcomings (okay, one major reason) is that I realize that many of the things he did that I don't do are because of the internet plus books written in the 20th/21st century that I have access to. Not that "how to write a good condolence letter" or "how to not invade neighboring countries" hadn't been invented in the 18th century (the Anti-Machiavel proves one of them had), but "how to convince someone like me and Fritz (not) to do these things" hadn't necessarily been articulated, and articulated enough times in enough different ways to register (or win in the face of absolute power).
Interesting about the ring theory! I wasn't aware that it had been formalized and given a name, but I had basically intuited that exact principle. I have deleted as irrelevant at least twice in this discussion the fact that Fritz did his whole "I told you so" after EC's brother died at Soor not once (to EC), not twice (to EC and her other brother), but three times (to EC, her other brother, and Fredersdorf), but I'm okay with him venting to Fredersdorf, because Fredersdorf wasn't (presumably) that close to the directly affected parties. Fredersdorf is who Fritz *should* be saying these things to! Just not the people in the inner circles.
ETA: Also, did you think of algebraic ring theory when you first encountered that term too? Because I had two semesters of it--well, of groups, rings, and fields--and though I've forgotten almost all of it by now, it was one of my absolute favorite parts of college, and it still brings back the happy memories.
Re: Fritz: Worst condolence letter writer ever?
*nods* I had also intuited that principle by the time I came across that, but yes, from things like the internet and being able to watch what things people were like "wow, I can't BELIEVE that person did that thing" in advice columns and so on (I love advice columns), which also weren't available to Fritz.
And, lol, yes, my first thought on encountering it was "...author, you do know this is a thing already in math, right?" I also have forgotten my year of groups, rings, and fields, but loved it a Lot. (My best friend is a geometer, so she thinks I'm crazy, and I think she's crazy for loving topology, which was not my favorite. :) )
Re: Fritz: Worst condolence letter writer ever?
I'm sure that in Fritz's shoes, without any internet, I'd just be listing out the faults of the person I didn't like, and talking about how great it is not to experience grief (one place where Fritz and I differ severely), and have they tried that? :P And genuinely expecting that suggestion to be helpful.
Re: Fritz: Worst condolence letter writer ever?
Re: Fritz: Worst condolence letter writer ever?