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Yuletide tags are out: Frederician version
Come join us in this crazy Frederick the Great fandom and learn more about all these crazy associated people, like the star-crossed and heartbreaking romance between Maria Theresia's daughter Maria Christina and her daughter-in-law Isabella, wow.
OK, so, there are FOURTEEN characters nominated:
Anna Karolina Orzelska (Frederician RPF)
Elisabeth Christine von Preußen | Elisabeth Christine Queen of Prussia (Frederician RPF)
Francesco Algarotti (Frederician RPF)
François-Marie Arouet | Voltaire (Frederician RPF)
Friedrich II von Preußen | Frederick the Great (Frederician RPF)
Hans Hermann Von Katte (Frederician RPF)
Joseph II Holy Roman Emperor (Frederician RPF)
Maria Theresia | Maria Theresa of Austria (Frederician RPF)
Michael Gabriel Fredersdorf (Frederician RPF)
Peter Karl Christoph von Keith (Frederician RPF)
Sophia Dorothea of Hanover (Frederician RPF)
Stanisław August Poniatowski (Frederician RPF)
Wilhelmine von Preußen | Wilhelmine of Prussia (1709-1758) (Frederician RPF)
Yekatarina II Alekseyevna | Catherine the Great of Russia (Frederician RPF)
This means some fourth person kindly nominated Algarotti and -- I think? -- Stanislaw August Poniatowski! YAY! Thank you fourth person! Come be our friend! :D Yuletide is so great!
I am definitely requesting Maria Theresia, Wilhelmine, and Fritz (Put them in a room together. Shake. How big is the explosion?), and thinking about Elisabeth Christine, but maybe not this year.
I am also declaring this post another Frederician post, as the last one was getting out of hand. I think I'll still use that one as the overall index to these, though, to keep all the links in one place.
(seriously, every time I think the wild stories are done there is ANOTHER one)
OK, so, there are FOURTEEN characters nominated:
Anna Karolina Orzelska (Frederician RPF)
Elisabeth Christine von Preußen | Elisabeth Christine Queen of Prussia (Frederician RPF)
Francesco Algarotti (Frederician RPF)
François-Marie Arouet | Voltaire (Frederician RPF)
Friedrich II von Preußen | Frederick the Great (Frederician RPF)
Hans Hermann Von Katte (Frederician RPF)
Joseph II Holy Roman Emperor (Frederician RPF)
Maria Theresia | Maria Theresa of Austria (Frederician RPF)
Michael Gabriel Fredersdorf (Frederician RPF)
Peter Karl Christoph von Keith (Frederician RPF)
Sophia Dorothea of Hanover (Frederician RPF)
Stanisław August Poniatowski (Frederician RPF)
Wilhelmine von Preußen | Wilhelmine of Prussia (1709-1758) (Frederician RPF)
Yekatarina II Alekseyevna | Catherine the Great of Russia (Frederician RPF)
This means some fourth person kindly nominated Algarotti and -- I think? -- Stanislaw August Poniatowski! YAY! Thank you fourth person! Come be our friend! :D Yuletide is so great!
I am definitely requesting Maria Theresia, Wilhelmine, and Fritz (Put them in a room together. Shake. How big is the explosion?), and thinking about Elisabeth Christine, but maybe not this year.
I am also declaring this post another Frederician post, as the last one was getting out of hand. I think I'll still use that one as the overall index to these, though, to keep all the links in one place.
(seriously, every time I think the wild stories are done there is ANOTHER one)
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Our crackfic has a Fritz/Joseph same-sex marriage proposal!
"Tu felix Austria nube" indeed!
He's not likely to make an honest man out of Joseph, is he?
I'm dying here, really.
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(And already King of Germany; Franz and he did go through the relevant ceremony in Frankfurt which would ensure that Joseph after his father's death would automatically become Emperor instead of having to go through vote gathering all over again. So he's already outranking Fritz, technically speaking.)
(In medieval times, it went thusly in the Holy Roman Empire: the princes electors voted you King of Germany, you got crowned as same, and then the Pope made you Emperor, unless you were one of those kings he was busy arguing with. Emperors who wanted to ensure there was not too much bother about the succession had the princes electors vote their oldest sons as Kings of Germany while they, the Emperors, were still alive and well. In the sunset days of the HRE, people usually didn't bother anymore, but after all the trouble with her own succession, MT wasn't taking any chances. She had Joseph made King in his father's lifetime.)
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Would MT actually marry the future emperor to Fritz and risk Fritz being the power behind the throne of the Emperor? Seems like she might balk at that. Also how does religion work? I guess since bio kids are off the table, it's not quite so important that either of them convert?
And now how does Fritz react when MT comes back to him after the summit and is all "So, you know, we didn't get anything done yesterday, but here's an alternate proposal, hear me out..." Does this alliance work for him?
(lol how much do I love that we're having a discussion about Fritz and Joseph getting married, and realizing it might actually work out better than Fritz and MT getting married)
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Fritz being the power behind the throne of the Emperor is a serious obstacle, but MT knows her son. He's stubborn, he's argumentative, he'll insist on imposing his own ideas on his olders and betters, she just knows this will happen. Also, he might be star struck by Fritz know and thus prone to do what Fritz wants for a while, but you know, the last person in a mutual admiration society with Fritz was Voltaire, and close contact cured that one as the whole of Europe knows. She intends to live and rule for more years to come, so her gamble is: physical proximity to Fritz will reduce Joseph's crush to manageable size.
As for the succession, well, she has already some grandkids of both genders. At least one can be married to one of Fritz' nieces or nephews. But it must be a Catholic.
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Not that Fritz would have any problem with that, so we're good :D
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Arch Duke Joseph as a kid some years before this potential meeting:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/ac/Martin_van_Meytens_003.jpg/800px-Martin_van_Meytens_003.jpg
Joseph crowned as Holy Roman Emperor (he hated those robes and thought they looked ridiculous, but that was what he looked like, well, how portraitists rendered him, in his early 20s, so not so different from how he'd looked at 18, just before marrying Isabella):
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4f/Ritratto_di_Giuseppe_II_d%27Asburgo.jpg
And that's the most famous portrait and the one used to style Jeffrey Jones as Joseph in "Amadeus" after:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/07/HGM_Hickel_Portr%C3%A4t_Kaiser_Joseph_II.jpg
Oh, and remember that splendidly baroque tomb where MT and FS are buried together, looking at each other? Joseph is buried in front of his parents, in a simple copper casket (according to his own wishes):
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/7f/Wien_-_Kapuzinergruft%2C_Maria-Theresia-Gruft_%282%29.JPG/800px-Wien_-_Kapuzinergruft%2C_Maria-Theresia-Gruft_%282%29.JPG
For you,
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7b/Cosi_fan_tutte_-_first_performance.jpg
Illustrations
heeeee, of course he did!
Awww, I love these pictures, not least because I am imagining the guy in these pictures as a total awkward Fritz fanboy and... it's not hard.
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Voltaire is EXACTLY what I was thinking when I imagined how a Fritz/Joseph relationship would play out. Joseph was less all-out crazy than Voltaire, but he had a definite mind of his own, and I don't see that going very well. Also, Fritz doesn't have the strong feelings for Joseph that he has for Voltaire, so he might be even less inclined to look for (what he considers) the good when they start to clash.
...This is gonna be fun.
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F: So...you're really impressed by the King of Prussia, aren't you, son?
J: Well, yeah. No offense to you and Mom, Dad, but to me he's the
coolestmost effective monarch of Europe, and I just think I can learn a lot from him. Except for his thing about German. That's just weird. Also, Gluck rocks!F: There isn't any special someone in your life right now, is there?
J: With Mom supervising me like a hawk? I leave that kind of thing to Poldl. Younger siblings always have it easier. Another thing I agree with the King on.
F: Speaking as a former younger brother whose older brother died: that's an illusion. But never mind. How do you feel about the ancient Greeks?
J: Look, Dad, it's enough that Mom sits in during my lessons and examinations every second month. You're the fun parent! Or you used to be. I can read bloody Homer in the original, okay?
F *under his breath*: How I produced a son simultanously so clueless and smart, I don't know.
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Franz: Thanks...I guess?
Heinrich: Meanwhile, listen up. You might have noticed my brother can be a bit...contrary.
Franz: You could say that.
Heinrich: So we've got to play this just right. I'm thinking that if there's too much pressure to go through with the marriage, he balks. But he might die laughing if given the opportunity to troll a certain virtuous Empress-Queen. If you catch my drift.
Franz: I do indeed. Maternal resistance might not be a bad way of getting Joseph behind the idea, either. Has anyone ever told you that your brother's not the only devious genius in the family?
Heinrich: You're too kind.
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Maria Theresia: So you want me to pretend to be against it so that that man and our Joseph can be for it? How old are you all, twelve?
Franz: I'll remind you that when the doctors told you explicitly to rest and do nothing during your first six pregnancies, you instead went dancing, stayed up till 11 pm and gambled.
MT: That was different. I knew better.
F: *eloquently says nothing*
MT: Fine. But what if it's all for nothing, and he sees through me? I'd be humiliated, Franzl! By that man!
F: Mitz, you're the best actress I've ever met. (*Footnote: He actually did say that. ) Just think of how you sang Agrippina. I couldn't imagine a woman more different from you, and yet when you embodied her, we all believed the truth of every note! Channel your inner Agrippina. I believe in you! You can do it.
*early in the morning, Fritz hasn't arrived at the summit salon yet; MT mutters to herself beneath her breath "Think Agrippina, think Agrippina" and hums a few Händel notes when Joseph arrives; her posture immediately changes to stiff disapproval*
MT *pitching her voice as a trained singer can so she will be overheard in the next room, just in case Fritz is either already near or has deployed lackeys*: Joseph, I don't want you to attend the summit today. Your very presence is a sabotage, because the King can see you're far too impressed by him.
J: But Mom! The entire summit was my idea! You can't do that!
MT: Yes, I can. In fact, I'll go further. When we get back home, I'm confiscating your copy of the Anti-Machiavel and the porcelain cup portrait you think I don't know about. Till we leave, you're staying away from the King, you don't talk to him, you don't as much as breathe his name! Are we clear!
J: *slams door on his way out (not the way Fritz will take when entering, the other door*
MT: *tries to calm herself herself; there was a bit too much truth in that performance; gets out her rosary, both as part of the calming effort and because it's a prepared prop; she knows, after all, that Fritz is always mocking her piety in public; she then gets out her supersecret weapon, a broche showing a miniature pastel portrait of... Wilhelmine, and pins it firmly on her dress where Fritz is bound to see it*
Fritz: *enters*
MT *smile pasted on*: You don't have to kneel, your grace. (*he wasn't about to, as well she knows, but it can't help reminding him he bloody well should, according to protocol*) In fact, it is I who owe you, I just remembered. Before he died, Prince Eugene told me you wanted to convert and marry me, and see, if you'd officially proposed my father probably would have said yes, what with Prussia so full of soldiers and money, and then where would we be! In misery, that's where. But you reconsidered, and so I owe you decades of happiness with the love of my life. THANK YOU!" *grabs him by his shoulders and kisses him on both cheeks*
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Um. Yes?
I'm confiscating your copy of the Anti-Machiavel and the porcelain cup portrait you think I don't know about.
BWAHAHAHAHA
You don't have to kneel, your grace. (*he wasn't about to, as well she knows, but it can't help reminding him he bloody well should, according to protocol*)
HEE.
Oh boy. Inquiring minds want to know how THIS goes...
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Um. Yes?
I would just like to point out that this is no more immature than, say, the Algarotti/Hervey/Wortley Montagu love triangle! And I wanted to give MT the option of saving face by not appearing too eager to consider her worst enemy a suitable marriage prospect for her heir. I also figured the acting would be partly real--which I'm glad
Oh boy. Inquiring minds want to know how THIS goes...
Haha, I have some ideas for the next part, give me time! Though I think the only possible reaction to this particular statement is to haughtily ignore it. He's definitely going to escalate things in reaction to other parts!
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Fritz: Congratulations. Now I *have* to convert, just to become a monk so I can get the girl-cooties off. The Countess Orzelska dressed as a man, you know.
Fritz: As for kneeling, I'm afraid I'm out of practice. *inclines head sardonically* Your son, on the other hand, madam, is just as delighted as you are, albeit for different reasons, that he's not too closely related to me. His interest seems decidedly...non-filial, shall we say. That portrait of me by his bed? Confiscate it if you like; I'll never forget the sight of it, and neither will he.
Fritz: *lets her decide how to react to that, then brazenly snatches his sister's portrait from her bodice while she's distracted*
Fritz: Looks like Silesia isn't the only thing of mine you have.
Fritz: *sits down, looking rather pleased at this performance*
Ball's in your court, MT and Franz! Heinrich is trying to decide whether he can believe his ears.
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MT *does have murder in her eyes, but has not survived sixteen pregnancies and childbirths as well as her father's stupid ancient advisors in her first cabinet lecturing her without being able to conjure up discipline as well as a lethal smile*: Cousin, you should have told me you were tired, I'd have given you permission to sit down long ago. Men just don't have the stamina we women do, I suppose. Your dear sister told me what a sensitive boy you've always been, and I now see she was right. You do remind me of little Max and Ferdinand, always grabbing at shiny baubles that aren't yours.
*Pause to let that sink in, while she remains standing. She is at this point of her life of course no longer young herself and overweight, her dancing nights are past, but she's still healthy and the woman his ambassador describes in his dispatches as able to remain hours and hours unprotected in high summer heat outside going through receptions while her court runs for cover*
And here I thought you didn't care for portraits.
*drops the fake pleasantry for pure ice*
Now, may I enquire how you came to see yours by my son's bed?
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(Eddie Izzard on royal inbreeding: Cause it's a bad idea when cousins marry!)
Fritz: *patronizing smile* Thank you for your concern, madam, but the rigors of campaigning aren't something I'd expect you to be familiar with. It's only right and natural that you should be protected from such hardships. Allow this old warhorse to compliment you on your fine complexion.
Fritz: *courtly half-bow from his chair* Then he turns absolutely smug, because she just walked into the trap.
Fritz: I'm afraid I don't take your meaning about the portrait, though. I said that I'd seen it and that he kept it by his bed, not that I'd seen it by his bed. Interesting that you jumped to that conclusion; I'd rather thought you were too pure-minded for the gutter. But then, you would know more about your son than I would.
Fritz: *hasn't played the "Did I or Didn't I" game for thirty-plus years for nothing*
Fritz: And speaking of sons, if Max and Ferdinand are giving you as much trouble as I am, I can only imagine what your oldest is putting you through. Should I offer to take him off your hands? I might find him more manageable. You did seem worried about my influence over him when I was walking through the antechamber, and in quite the hurry to be rid of him.
*Inside Heinrich's brain*
Eeeeexcellent. Everything is going according to plan.
*mimes raising a glass* To my brother getting laid on the regular and maybe calming the fuck down. And keeping his hands off my pages.
*looks around for Franz* Now, where on earth is that Joseph?
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Franz Stefan had believed his son wouldn’t go far, unable to resist the temptation of overhearing, regardless of or especially because of his mother’s ban, so he’s surprised it takes him a while to locate Joseph - who then comes sprinting towards him from the general direction of the courtyard. Was he outside for some reason?
J: Dad, you must know Mom is handling this terribly. She’s dead wrong about Fritz and me! I’m not a pushover, I just understand him! I do! I shouldn’t just be in the room, I should be the main negotiator!
FS: Well, you might get your chance. Last I looked he and your mother were about to kill each other, so let’s go back there and I’ll somehow persuade your mother to let you stay.
(Franz: not a bad actor himself. Comes with the occasional one night stand territory.)
J *hasn’t taken this in yet, he’s prepared a speech in order to convince his parents and hasn’t even gotten to the middle of same yet*: I know you both think I’m without guile, but I can be sneaky! I have a secret weapon to butter Fritz up, and now I’ll employ it if you... hang on, did you just say you’ll back me up with Mom?
F: Yes. Secret weapon, hm? *under his breath* Thank God. I was beginning to fear I need to draw you a diagram.
J *proudly*: Yep. I had the idea before we left Vienna. Preparation is everything
says Fritz.F: I’m impressed, son. Now, not to rush you or anything, but we really need to...
J: Right. Let me just get the weapon.
F: ...? You don’t mean to say you already brought a ring?
J: ...????? I brought the Mozarts.
F: ....
J: Come on. Everyone melted when those two kids performed in front of us. Even Mom! She totally let that boy hug her, jump on her lap and kiss her. I mean, who gets to do that to Mom otherwise? She sure isn’t the spontanous kissing type!
F: ....
J: So I thought: Fritz loves music. Truly deeply does. Now I have no idea whether he also likes kids in general, but come on, everyone loves little Wolferl! So I told Leopold Mozart to secretly follow us with his kids, and I’ve now checked whether they arrived. Which they did! So here’s my plan. I’ll announce to Fritz I’ve arranged a special concert in his honor. We all listen to the Mozarts. Everyone melts, again. Peace, love and harmony descend on both our realms. Am I a genius or what?
*meanwhile, MT’s reaction in the summit salon shall be posted at a later point*
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I don't think I can convey the sheer delighted joyous WTF response I had to this amazing plot twist. I was not expecting that AT ALL. AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh Joseph. You are just Something Else.
(denn durch sie wird Menschenglück und Zufriedenheit vermehrt!)
I was beginning to fear I need to draw you a diagram.
Sorry, Franz, you might still have to!
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Never ever has MT been torn between feeling smug herself and feeling annoyed as hell. On the one hand: things are going the way she, in the end, wants them to. On the other: he’s possibly more infuriating in person than a distance of hundreds of miles when invading her provinces, and just once, she wants to be the one to gloat. But if she makes that mistake, if she lets him discover she’s not, in fact, 100% horrified at the prospect of him being anywhere near her son, she’s lost the game. And she’s really really sick of losing to this man, thanks a lot. Silesia will definitely be ruled by Joseph, even if he has to do it with Fritz, that’s so going to be in the wedding contract.
So she swallows down her bile and her moment of fierce satisfaction and instead grabs at something that’s also real, so she doesn’t have to fake it. (Much.)
MT *wounded expression of noble wronged madonna*: Allow a mother to be protective of her son, Monsieur. Especially since, as the mother of my country, I already lost a great many sons to you. I may have expressed some concern, yes. But a parent, a true parent, should never, ever, disown their child. So I am afraid I cannot possibly allow you to adopt him.
*widens eyes a bit, as if something suddenly occured to her that’s stunning and shocking, simply shocking, and she never, ever thought of it before*
You did mean adoption, didn’t you? Not some other legal arrangement?
*Fritz has little time to ponder this one, as there’s a commotion heard outside. The doors burst open. Enter Joseph, looking rather dashing for Joseph; he’s a bit on the thin side, as opposed to his parents, a bit flushed from running, and neither small nor gigantic tall a la Potsdam Giants*
J (to Fritz): I apologize for being interrupting, Sire, but I cannot contain myself any longer: I have a proposal for you!
*behind Joseph’s back, FS appears and gets the most WTF? Look he ever got from his wife; he’ s giving her a “not my fault!” Look back*
J: *continuing* Even a warrior such as yourself must rest once in a while, so let yourself be seduced....
MT’s WTF????? Look is no acting at all, and could scorch the Earth.
J: *continuing*: ...by music!
*cue trio outside, Wolfgang playing violin, Nannerl piano, Leopold flute. Because of course this is an opera buffa, and we’re in the final scene*
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omg, OF COURSE IT IS
it makes everything SO MUCH better if they're singing ALL of this in duet-trio-quartet
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ETA:
Thank you for your concern, madam, but the rigors of campaigning aren't something I'd expect you to be familiar with. It's only right and natural that you should be protected from such hardships. Allow this old warhorse to compliment you on your fine complexion.
lol Fritz!! Fritz and MT throwing shade on each other is my faaaaavorite :D
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