Fritz/Voltaire snark sex would be awesome. Also, they could maybe even get an exception from me about hate sex, mostly because it wasn't pure hate and they were really frenemies, and they'd been friends first. Actually, I think I would enjoy a dynamic where they'd been having sex before their falling-out, or at least flirting pretty damn hard, and then after the falling-out had at least one really intense sexual encounter full of passionate hate, snark, resentment, and "Where did our love go?" mutual disappointment.

...Okay, now I want someone to write that.