Ack--I wasn't trying to assert anything about comparative difficulties. However bad infant-caused sleep debt became, at least I could nap sometimes during my daughter's naps instead of grading papers and preparing to teach. And eat food (because of money, which grad school rather lacked sometimes).
*nods* Another friend had child #1 a few months ago (at nearly forty) and had really looked forward to spending time with her mother, who for various reasons hasn't been around much since the friend was twelve. It turned out to be rather wearying, too. I wish that rl had more of a middle space between the polarized sainted or awful (grand)mothers of fiction. (Like, this is not your newborn or your household! Please integrate yourself as helpful additional responsible adult instead of needing to be dealt with atop everything else; it's for only a short time. Or perhaps I feel extra protective of the friend, at least, because I would have liked to help her myself but she's far away, in another country.)
no subject
*nods* Another friend had child #1 a few months ago (at nearly forty) and had really looked forward to spending time with her mother, who for various reasons hasn't been around much since the friend was twelve. It turned out to be rather wearying, too. I wish that rl had more of a middle space between the polarized sainted or awful (grand)mothers of fiction. (Like, this is not your newborn or your household! Please integrate yourself as helpful additional responsible adult instead of needing to be dealt with atop everything else; it's for only a short time. Or perhaps I feel extra protective of the friend, at least, because I would have liked to help her myself but she's far away, in another country.)